Supposedly, children exhibit irrational, unsettling behavior when they are two, this was not the case with my children, if I could remame it, that eould be selfish, expecting everything to bend to my experience. I merely want to note that for my children their streak of independence did not surface until they were three. We had terrible, terribly expensive, threes
I heard several comments about how something happens to a woman at 40 where she comprehends things more clearly ie, "if you want an honest opinion ask a 40 yr old woman." I was still quite selfish only noting that I should not be. My nature had not changed one whit.
But, just now, because it was so quiet, I decided to pour my heart out in prayer. My mind filled with billions of issues and concerns I need to deal with\resolve, but I pushed them out and instead focused of my wishes for someone else and to my surprise, I even hoped for their sake that they realize their great potential, which might have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with me. I ended and an sutting here astonished at how not self-centered that was.I supposed that it was a late "blooming" of that whole 40 yr old honesty because, honestly, I will tell you, things are seriously not going how I expect them to around here, but I see that as good, which is a new development. And when I need to gain Heavenly aid, I do not even seek for myself, like a good wife who learns to accept that her needs will be cared for if she focuses on others, I trust whole-heartedly that my life is taking turns for the better, although I would not have thought so previously, and others will marvel at my peace amidst so much upheaval.
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