Blind spot

"I felt like the crazy lady all day. You know, the only one who doesn't realize that she is bizarre."

That was what a teacher at an institute class (a church related class) said and I often think about it. What if what I see is really and truly very far from what appears to everyone else? Well, I always sort of knew it was. What I did not consider is that everyone else shares a sort of learned collective consciousness. One I have never learned.

So, yesterday, I nearly died in an accident because of a blind spot. I felt so horrible. Did the other car know that I absolutely did not see them at all?
I often am paranoid that every other car driver knows something I do not or that when they see me drive by they get nervous and avoid me at all costs. So, my incident with my blind spot and a car just appearing out of no where magnified my belief...it is similar to how random occurrences or miracles enhance faith in something that was only a belief. Think about that movie "Inception". Faith works the same way. Plant the seed of an idea and if it is nourished it will grow. Well, recently my paranoia has been growing.

Commentary

UIt's funny to me how obvious it is Earth's flat yet people refuse to look,feel,see for themselves.  I know it's flat,100% proveable I... And globe ball theory is easily unproveable but people won't look!!!  Wow!   Why would I let you know if I wasn't 100% positive.  Planes are held in by invisible non existent gravity but can break it at 600 mph while being held at 1036 mph by gravity lol lol yet birds on rising heat glide away,drop of water in a leaf,your finger won't be pulled down...
Wind bends trees at 60 mph but no motion from ball Earth's 1036 mph spin.
Light..OMG,if sun was 93 million miles away"per ball earth theory, lie" 2,778,000.00 almost 3million miles wide compared to tiny earth 25000 25 thousand miles wide projecting light and heat 93 million miles thru space...it would surround earth,pass earth,light up the sky after earth and ambient light, like dusk would envelope the back of earth as it sounds...butttt you'd never be able to see a dark sky.  Impossible!!! Think,look,feel,see with real eyes and realize the Earth's flat!   Ask me what the governments are hiding !?   Wake up n just look!  Ask! Think?   Do you really think you are spinning 1036 mph around a gigantic ball of ? Emitting light n heat 93 million miles away to make a day" when I proved that can't work", circling said heat ball at 57000 mph to make a year and 600,000 600,000 mph thru space,stars never change tho.  OMG really!?  Not if you looked !!!!  Same stars every year since Egypt for sure,and gravity is a falicy. They can't even prove it but tell you it's holding sea"level" to a super spinning rotating flying thru space ball that's easily disproven and "still" you hold on to the lie your taught without looking or thinking.   Try it!!!!! 

I just read that and kept on reading cause I was waiting for the punchline or paradigm shift sort of thing assuming it was a method of trying to show people how reasonable a lie can be. But, this dude is for real. My first thought was ,"...and we all allow all men the same privilege..." (11th Article of Faith).

I like to read and reread this anytime I start to fall for logic in my own thoughts. It is obvious (painfully so at times or improper word choices) that there is a higher science, or understandable reason, than this "WYSIWYG" proof. And, his whole-hearted belief suggests to me that if God's ways are incomprehensibly higher trusting how something seems from data (regardless how it was obtained) if it was not given from God it is not as "obvious" as its lobbyists find it to be.

Nada

It comes as a relief to me that I have absolutely nothing screaming to be heard tonight. Wish I had more vacations.

I visited nearly every source of inspiration/outrage but strangely. I got nothing.

Maybe I'll dream! That'd be cool to remember.

Thanksgiving 2018

This year I am learning so much that I really ought to have already known about the Pilgrims. I started considering much of it when I pondered a long while the choice of the name of Pilgrim for the horse on "Horse whisperer". Today, I have been thinking alot about all things puritan a.k.a pilgrim. And I marvel at how much courage it took, nay, faith. The obeyed a God who would easily been forgotten or ignored given all the hardships. But, they wanted to worship the way they wanted to the point that they left all they had and pretty much gave up everything in order to get that freedom. It sorta reminds me of Jonah. He is an example of trying to disobey, but he still knew God was aware of him and expected him to go to Nineveh.

I like to think I would go and not try to escape or avoid something cause it was hard. Cause, like Jonah, I know that God is aware of me and I need to believe that if he asks something, then he makes it possible. Things looked pretty bleak for the pilgrims. But, Thanksgiving remembers that a way was prepared!

This is such an odd thought

It is strange and feels almost foreign and so I record that is crossed my thoughts this morning... I was considering how to know a thing by it's fruits and then a warning came to not only limit myself to the behaviors or actions but the reaction...I will explain this, mind you the thought came in a sudden burst I merely am trying to explain it to another mind.

I believe that those who ascribe to a way of life are good, and this represents only that the religion itself is of God. The person might not behave that way according to anything but mere coincidence. Whereas another who appears to act "badly" might actually choose to act better if the ascribed to a familiar dogma.

It first reminded me of how a reason that we came to earth was to be away from a parent who made sure that we always acted in accordance to his will. And although all must choose what religion to follow not everyone who acts and follows accordingly chose so.
A perfect example of this is found in the Book of Mormon when it is said that tge Lamanites are much better than all those who are enjoying life in accordance to the Gospel of Jesus Christ but, they had not been taught how to behave and are living exactly in accordance with the traditions they have been taught.
The second great example comes from a book by CS Lewis where people who have passed on or died visit heaven and are very surprised at who is there. According to the way they think this is wring and not justice at all.

Anyhow, it is a very strange thing to think but I was thinking, maybe justifying, a bit, about how my choices would seem contrary to what appears immediately, but if we live for eternity time is not so much a factor as is the raw fabric of a person and what it has the potential to become.

Ofcourse, one must weigh in saying that it is just where a person ends up. In my church we even claim that it is just that some be without the gospel, and some must be allowed to make their own choices wether or not God already knows what that choice will be...

Atomic time

I just had an idea and no one to tell so here it goes. We may not be able to record reliably where an electron is in an atom but we know that it is there. I do not know enough about quantum physics to say, but without certainty I formed a hypothesis: if we choose a location and measure it's return to the same location we might find it is periodic, like celestial reckoning. Passage of time seems to vary but things like gravity and other forces keep speed pretty constant and reliable. In geometery I learned that we do not need to be told every angle to be able to extropolate and determine other dimensions. My thoughts conjured or deduced such a way to measure what seemed otherwise unmeasurable. All thanks to a video I saw years ago in Dahlonega, Georgia at an engineering camp in which Carl Sagan likened atoms and what was infinity smaller to that which was infinitively larger and that through understanding the one we could understand the other. My dad sort of said the same thing when he described how a particular major emphasis was not as important in college as much as understanding a particular thing in greater detail. In turn we would be able to understand other things in such a greater degree of complexity. Wow. My dad is such a genius! And all along due to grades and standard quantification of intelligence I assumed only my mother was the brainy one. But, if I extrapolate such a thought. Ofcourse, why would she have "yoked" herself to such a goof? I had been fooled by his humility to think he really is just as ordinary as they come.

So incredibly thankful

It is appropriate that I ought to feel this way as Thanksgiving feast is nearly here. I feel lukewarm most days, because a sincere mental conversion has not happened but, whenever I pause to consider my nature I see differences and contemplation of such actions that set me apart from others always make me feel awe, wonder, gratitude then always a sincere hope or belief which is labled as one word in English: faith.

I have so much more to say, but must attend to other things immediately.

Alright, now I am at home again with a bit of free time so I wanted to say that the more I believe as my inclinations lean, the happier and more appreciative I am.

I don't know how I became what I am but I love me. Except for the inner sense of not having found it yet, so I look.

I have been watching the Last Kingdom again on Netflix and it colors everything I think about. And I notice how much power holywood has. The main character falls in love entirely so many times, eachtime it seems ideal/perfect, but ends. And I start to think it is reality and why so many marriages fail. Rather than realizing what was missing. People more quickly focus on else they can have. Through this on screen portrayalit is easy to the opposing forces of human nature vs. a nature of diety. Base self is indulged and becomes a reality. But, the whole tale is fiction.

Then in Season 2 I adore the relationship between Erik and Aethelfled and wonder why, and why Holywood is presenting it andmaking her husband seem like such a bad guy. What is the adgenda because I have fallen entirely for it.

We see divorce is rampant. And the screenwritters are trying to explain how it is acceptable, now what are they trying to say? Is it another Romeo & Juliet type thing? So, we dislike those who treat us poorly but love our enemies if they are chivalrous. I have not said what is the crux of my need to type my thoughts, but I need to go pick up my kids.

Regarding talents

My thoughts began on a personal matter. I feel as strongly as if I had been spoken to and Yet I have not formally, nor would I particularly want to, been spoken to.

Recently, My children started a discussion regarding the parable taught by Jesus of the master who gave his servants "talents" (or in other words, money). As we talked about how everyone was given something to be responsible for my daughter cried out that it was not fair. Which lead to the priciple I learned this morning. It does not even matter how much we are given as much as it does what we do with what we are given.

I have been noticing throughout my lifetime how often the greatest abilities are "unearthed" reluctantly. So, I could not help but notice this similarity to the parable of the talents. For me, it is teaching. I enjoy this and have noticeda skill that is sort of inborn. Many things I learn or see others do falls exactly in line with my nature and things that I already do. So, foolishly, I thought, "Well, guess I already have that ability. Next." But, that is not what we are supposed to do.

As a temple attending member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have promised to give what skill I have to God and this is used to build the kingdom of God on earth. But, but, teaching? Yes, it is actually one of the most significant duties of all because a person recieves direction and personality through guided instruction recievedin early years. (I giggle a bit because early was a spelling word for Mary this week and we learned it in a silly way, but it will NEVER beforgotten).

The whole point of writting was to document my answer regarding wether or not I wanted to continue working on this talent by going to school to learn how to gain legitimacy/motivation and command respect, because I already know what ought to be taught and why and I stink at the how part. And I really do not want to keep doing something I am terrible at, but that is exactly how to bury a talent instead of developing it. I know for a fact that I should keep working on developing this ability, and do my part to make this world better, and if I help only one person be better it will have not been in vain!