Artificial

I am not sure how many years ago but it was a long time ago I was obsessed with the whole Vocaloid thing. That obsession ended when A neighbor friend introduced me to her real-life obsession Jared Leto. Several contemplation led to the same conclusion that how we were perceived did not matter nearly as much as who we were. Wait a minute what does Jared Leto have to do with it? Ok.I will delve into that thought, since it was the igniting spark.

First of all I did not know at all who he was. And every time I made a conclusion I realized it was but a facet of him. I mean what would I really be allowed to see or know anyhow. He is a popular rockstar, yes, but he is also a professional liar a.k.a actor. Given what I know of vocaloids combined with his technical prowess he could actually be crafted by my neighbor afterall everything I learned of him was through her, perhaps she was a proud parent. Thoughts like that lead me to the Matrix, God as a Heavenly FATHER, etc.

Suffice it to say, as I overheard the music my daughter was listening to this morning I thought "I could do that, why don't I?" It is all rediculous and artificial. I have a real existance and purpose to live for already.

More than I know

Most of what I appear to be is all the perception of the beholder. Honestly, I am more like a spider in that I am terrifying to others but in reality am far too scared and scurry out of any sort of light (limelight being the one that makes me look humble but I'm just afraid). I use ideas like my youngest eats her dinner. I act all voracious because I start so many interrelated thoughts that when interlinked and fully consumed result in great truths. But, I would never have the audacity to even say most things if I actually knew what I was saying.

IG: one time I got into a debate with a scientist about Atomic Absorbtion at a research lab when I was only in high school, but I actually do not, nor did I ever even know what it is. I merely picked up on key words that were shared with a recent study I had done on paper chromatography soaking a drawing in water. It was an innocent mistake that I decided to pretend was an intended expirament, btw. And the funny thing is that I won the argument and the engineers at Aerotek told my teacher how brilliant I was because when they were my age they didn't even know what Atomic Absorbtion was (really neither did I. I was merely trying to impress some guys in my class who probably thought I was an idiot cause I did not know anything about the rpms of various disk drives opposed to CD roms used for memory storage.)

So, bottom line is that if I come across as cocky or way too wise like I must know something that seems impossible, it probably is. It is just the way my neurons are wired. I find similarities in things I understand to things I do not understand. If I understood I would not flaunt my knowledge of such things anyway.

Ignorance is bliss, right? Well, let's just say I am extremely happy.