Brain dump

Jesus became first semester of the old law before becoming a teacher of the new law. The things Jesus taught were entirely new.

it was so cute how mary looked around and saw all the other kids going one way but she followed her brother.

During brother ahern sang his solo and Mary looked at me eyes wide and smiled.

while the choir sang, I showed Mary pictures depicting the life of the Savior. but, I could not find one. she says just give them to me I'll find it as if she could read or something.

the dark can not overpower light.

Everyone will get to live again not just those with high social status like President or rockstar.

know that there are differences between light and dark. Thearey just imagined to be common sense. dark is cold and light is warm that's just how it is.

standing in the background holding back is the same as remaining in the dark or propagating darkness.

darkness makes us shiver.

as thet talked it reminded me of the commont that my grandmother made about grandpa getting cataract surgery. She preferred to remain in the dark and he not actually see all her flaws.

we would rather not be seen so we avoid being seen by hiding in the darkness to avoid being chastened.

Ephesians 5:8

There was a story told about somebody moving just quickly enough to save their life. Their action was prompted by inspiration.

a movie theater is a dark place when we go into the light instantly, it blinds us.

if you are not prepared for blinding light revolution we learn bit by bit discerning gradually like a sunrise.

We receive just enough light to press forward.

we need to do our best to be a child of God. This is done by following the basic primary rules of prayer, scripture study, family home evening, and temple attendance.

anything better entices us to do good is of God.

The lack of light is not inherently evil.

Like a movie theater, we can become comfortable in the dark so that light is blinding to us.

We need to humbly teach others.

It is great to know something, so act upon it.

Time to think

I just don't get the whole concept of time and everything is about time. seems like the more I learn the less I grasp it. To me things change, yes, but time is marking the change of things, but I still prefer things that are and will be what they are now.morality is not defined by the way things change my psychology professor said. Well, he was ostercized and misunderstood, too. Perhaps that is not at all what he meant when he claimed my religion was not true because it changed.

Brain dump

Families of God.each person has a role. Music fills with spirit and opens channel for inspiration.

Story - object lesson of soda cans and how we are stronger when we are filled with truth.

We seek light and truth in our homes. We have a duty assigned and each must work at it.,

The Lord will speak to us if we ever seek him.

It was taken for granted that BoM was true, but others did not think it was even reasonable to believe. A woman was bombarded and worried and needed to know what was true, bit did not find time but finally prayed and was shown in a,dream a thing that she needed to know.

We will be required to hold strong to our sureness.

Membership in God's family remains, it is not dependant on any type of status be it familial or societal.

We have covenanted to stay strong and follow him and act accordingly especially in our family sphere of influence.

Grandmother to everyone, that family sphere of influence applies to our eternal family, we are all God's children. We are to be one.

Temples unite families which enables us to be one.

Immortality and eternal life should be our sole purpose.

The kids that do not want to listen, but they do.

Faith will conquer doubts.

Story of a young woman in Italy who stood up to an angry mob. Though not likely, that our personal trial will be to face an angry mob, but it is not so far fetched to see the likeliness of needing to be defenders of the family, even if we are faced with the idea that it is not so.

Most women do not see a life described in that proclamation but, we need to continue on believing.

Children have limitless potential, they can become anything, maybe even parents!!! That is the most amazing job.

We can all be home makers. Homes are temples.

**home can be a heaven on Earth.

Love at home and let us of speak kind words medley was incredible, look it up later.

You can and must be an important part of giving comfort to others.

Often good people who prayed diligently for something, their burdens are not sin, but things that we can help with, that is what we covenanted. You promised.

Pres. Eyring prayed to be able to comfort those who lost a 5 yr. old, he said that He loved them, but mostly God did and although he felt sad with them, only God really knows how to comfort them, they did most of the talking, and it made them so much stronger.

I now know why my feeling sometimes do not reflect what others think I ought to feel. It is because of the joy that comes from knowing it is good thing regardless what it seems I get my emotions from a source unfamiliar to the world.

Another favorite

It means so much more than it appears

One of those moments

I was patiently awaiting my morning quote and this morning it fit so perfectly with what I was thinking! I wondered if it was the same phenomenon as was described a few conferences ago when it was explained that our investment reflects what we get out of something. Without further ado... The quote:

“We all want progress, but if you're on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; in that case, the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive.”

-C. S. Lewis

I loved so much the fact that he said it. His mind often generates thoughts that I love to the point where I decide that we would be great friends!!

Twice

There are two specific moments where I felt jealousy. This post is much more innocent than it seems.

1) I was watching a Leslie Nielson vampire comedy and I cannot even remember the plot or when or where I was, but I remember seeing an actresses thighs and thinking. I wish mine were as muscular. I obessed over it for months until I achieved similar muscle definition.

2). During the end of Heroes Claire Bennett goes to college. And there is a scene with some girl who is her friend. They are riding in a car and the camera shows her hands and I was instantly jealous and in awe of her hands. I cannot explain it, but I never had even considered that hands could be so lovely. They were valuable tools to gather information about the world, but they are so much more. I suppose it is like saying breasts are just to feed infants. I still feel embarassed that my hands are so visible and not nearly as attractive as I would like. On a sidenote, I love Franz Liszt's hands in a painting, but never thought to be jealous of them. And in the commentary of Napoleon Dynamite at the begining, it is explained that a hand model is used for the opening credits and now I understand why, at first I was like, hands are hands, what the big deal? It is like in Notting Hill how the actress explains that she would have a butt double. That is just funny, too, and it supposed to be, I guess.

A Lena story

Why I remembered doesn't matter, but I do not want to forget, so I will tell the story.

I stopped taking my depression medication because I was not actually depressed, others thought that I should be, so I went with it.

One day Lena was looking through my things like kids do. She found a stash of pills in my jewelry box and asked what it was. Quickly, I diverted her from it and we occupied ourselves with something else.

We were having dinner or something, and as luck would have it she remembered that her curiousity had never been satisfied regarding the pills in my room. So, when my mother mentioned that I needed a refill on my prescription, Lena piped up, "Oh, no, she doesn't. She actually has a lot of them in her room." Busted.

No, make that capital NO ONE can do it

The answer to many questions wad found in this little thought. No one can actually multi-task. The mind is like a stage and only one actor has our attention. Attention can be manipulated but never actually divided. This has been proven.

trombone

Ever get those strong urges to run when you see a grassy hill? Well, I want to play my trombone, but because of my messed up nueral firing, I want to watch Dune, and it is all Dorothy's fault.

Woah, Woah, Woah! You were leading but you lost me. Back up, slowly consider Dorothy, Trombones and Dune. Now, what do they have in common?

It started cause Mary wanted to dance cause she saw a peppa pig video, so, she turned on the radio and while I made dinner, the song Rosanna came on. It always makes me think of That Toto photo I had in my bedroom growing up. Somehow, I decided their success came as a result of having a good trombone player.

Peppa bacon

My daughter is watching Peppa Pig in Italian. It is Sooo odd, I had to make sure it wasn't in a different language cause I could actually understand and recognize several words plainly, but I do not know Italian at all. I did recently write an Italian aria about Bacon, though and that is funny. Irony funny.

Maybe I dream in Italian, or Latin... Odd.

Quotes to remember

I demand to know why you are pleased with me .

they say it's all in the attitude and mine has changed and I can tell it's going to last at least a week.

what do you think about Roe vs Wade?

Oh, personally, I prefer to float.

Is there any answer I could give to apease you?

Friendship Isn't real unless one has the autonomy to tell the other to go to help.

No judge would order that.
Then, why are we here?
You needed to see this through.

If you are not brought to tears joy or sadness as you review the year, it was wasted.

I have certain rules, but I make them up as I go along.
You only die once.

When I met you, you were everything that I valued and thought I wanted so I just waited thinking in time I would fall in love.

Oh just shut up

Someone needs to tell me to shut up. I just,realized that the things I say are actually heard by others. I honestly would not say as much if I had any notion of those things actually making a bit of difference to anyone anywhere. And maybe I will listen to myself more and be honestly content with what is said.

It's magic!

My son just told me the silliest thing. He said, "if my finger gets too close to my eye it is like magic. My eye always closes. Look!" Love that boy.

Doing nothing

I am constantly made aware of how doing nothing is actually something. It is a choice. Choosing to say nothing is a lie and choosing to do nothing is a sin. Both,although not always true mark a character as either dumb or unwilling (see what I did there?)

Lately, I have been noticing how a thing was clearly the correct choice, but the opportunity was allowed to come and pass and that is just as wrong as actually doing something if it was wrong. Which prompts me to point out how important it is to know what the right thing to do is and why God has boldly spoken several times about being lukewarm, fence sitting, or just procrastinating.

We have this idea that it is good to just take time for things, patience is a virtue, and it is, but sex is also a blessing, but not in every situation.

I heard before how the gospel was likened to a train that is always moving toward a destination, it is not enough to have been good once, but to be good continually and moving towards our goal, or else we are moving away in not doing anything.

I could speak in particulars, but that might loose any wisdom for those who do not understand things exactly the same way. I had a very funny instructor tell his class to sign up for a thing, then afterwards noted that he couldnot understand some handwriting. He compared our miscommunication not as any failure. The information was good, but obviously some had a different instructor when learning penmenship. Oh, sooooooo true. I think this subtle comment regarding communication via handwriting has deeper implications to communicating using any means to others.

I got terribly side-tracked. I just wanted to actually say how terrible it is to not do a thing when we know it is right. Like SCUBA after a rescue class our instructor explained to us that if he imparted his knowledge we would be expected to help others in need. In that class we also learned CPR. We all know the stories that try to justify not helping out when we might have saved a life because of a fear of being sued later. That becomes the perfect metaphor for why so many people do not act. I heard once it said, "If God will really hear our prayers I will pray less." Or " If we had a similar experience as Joseph Smith every time we prayed we would pray less." Don't you think Satan knows that? Ben Folds says, "Do It Anyway!"

Last thing that really impressed me a lot was a comment I heard last week. "It is hard to know what to do, so if we wonder if it was inspired or not, we act on it, just incase." If it is true then we find our confirmation by doing something!

So cute!

Mary asked why Jesus always does what I do. I said, "No. No. Dear. He shows us the things that are possible and I follow him." So she said. He teaches me how to walk on water, and you teach me how to care, but why do you both walk on water all the time? She asked it multiple times until I finally just said because and the more I think of her I smile.

George?

I got my mind set on you...

"The commitment to be a [composer] is nothing less than a commitment to seek that which OS divine."

Holy Universe, Batman.

Started with a smile

I used to share so much in songs, but I do not sing anymore, outside of my head, so I wanted to write the song in my head.

It started with his smile she wondered how this man could be so happy, how everyone around he seemed to glow.
She tried to hear the words he spoke, but all she heard were cries for help around her saying, "Why did it have to be me?"

Anyway, as I was trying to recall why I wrote it, I thought about the instruction at the Temple Open
house. It was that we should smile. Why, what's the big deal? The other day, I was at the temple, myself, and I saw a woman who just beamed. I kept wondering why she was so glowy. Later, I overheard two women talking and the one asked the other,"Do you think she just has a permanent smile?" I mean, why would someone purposely smile so much? In elementary school. I was told that if you wanted to improve the world, smile. Because, people will always smile back if you smile at them, so, each smile you make improves the quality of life for others and the world will be better.

When I was a teenager, I had just started a program of setting goals, with a clear objective, when the program was changed. I got upset, and my leader said, "Melissa, it looks like you need to focus on choice and accountability." So I did.I found what looked like the easiest goal, to write about my day every day for 14 consequetive days. Easy, huh? Well, there was a tiny, life changing stipulation. You must decide to be happy.

I did not know your mood was your choice,so I thought this would take a long time to have 14 consequencially good days.but, that became the greatest lesson I learned. Regardless what side of the bed I woke up on. Being happy was my choice. I learned that even if the world gives you lemmons, decide to make lemonade! and although, that lady likely had no reason resulting from her dull duties, she was smiling and Improving the whole world! I want to be like her. Smiling makes anyone pretty!

That was probably why I wrote that song, a smile can trigger good regardless of our surroundingsthe good is there waiting to be seen. I know I originally wrote it to be about a feeling generated of Love and genuine compassion for others all because of a smile.

Tears are not really helpful

Mary Anne cries all of the time and I am always reprimanding her explaining that crying is not fling anything at all to help. I was veto.g so hard because I miss my babies, and I imagined being told the same thing.

Previously, I could reason myself out of despair because of such scriptural accounts of women who left their children to decide their own fates after teaching them how to live, like Moses (his birth mother) and Samuel (Hannah). And I am.sure there are more but two were enough to establish an acceptable pattern. I could confidently accept, without tears, my fate that my stewardship could be fulfilled without consigning myself to an eternal life of misery. Besides, these were God's children, only in my temporary care anyhow. I did not just want an eternal COMPANION but needed one suited and aimed purposefully at the goal of an eternal world of children.

But, honestly, my tears were not erased by this thought. I loved each child dearly and had come to love them and feel attached to the point of needing them. I would sacrifice for them. The thought that wiped away my tears was that all of us are God's children, and surely he loves each of us as fully... "God loved us so He sent his Son..." And he had to risk loosing more of us, but He made that choice although he could have chosen Lucifer's plan and been able to know that we all would be saved. Instead, he lost for sure 1/3 of his dear children. How terribly sorrowful for Him that must be!!! But. Crying about it will not help, ".. how doest thou shed thy tears as rain upon the mountains? And Lord, how is it that thou canst weep?" I was both blessed and comforted by this inspired insight.

I ought to be sleeping

Though I really should be sleeping my mind willnot rest, so it churned how bit of silly evidence that I must consider now or asleep, but it would be considered.

So, in lieu of sleep, my mind churned up an unreliable memory. Throughout my past, I have had particularly low points where I felt extremely ugly, but I always felt ugly, because I am me. I am somehow always subpar. But, looking back, photographs never seem to reflect the person I saw. I always look pretty. But, how could that be? I know for a fact that I was incredibly hideous to the point of wanting to crawl under a rock in shame of my appearance.

Could this be the case now? I know that I am ugly buy just do not care. Recently, I was even told by someone who had never seen me that they could just tell that I was homely because I was such a sweet spirit of something. It bothered me although honestly, I am past that.

I do have confidence of my self-worth regardless of whether or not my features hold any significance. It is only a thought that maybe looking back I will see more clearly how beautiful I really appear, disgusting not just get over it and enjoy the present for a bit instead of always seeing in hindsight how much better things actually were.

A friend told me once in college that the best thing about me, or the thing that made me the best was my inability to just accept myself as good enough, I held myself to an impossibly high standard and it reflected in who I became.

Tv

Sooo incredibly, um, oxymoronic? Let's just say unusual and unexpected that. Tv show makes me feel pretty. It's true. Kinda how you relate to a book, I do with a person on tv, but I am older and been there, done that, and it helps me feelmore secure and confident.

Break the silence

I used to play the wish game where whenever you were the first to do something, like drink from an unopened can or skim the top of a new tub of peanutbutter, such things would grant you a wish.

A person caused my only momentary, but, intention of much longer, silence to be broken.

I simply cannot remain silent on this regard: I love my Savior with every bit of my being. I am so thankful to him and realized that in a larger scheme of things, it would be wasteful and ungrateful not to allow such convictions a place in my outward appearance.

I am undoubtedly a daughter of a Heavenly Father whom Jesus Christ always paid hommage, doing almost nothing for himself of himself. We all love God, I love the more I learn and it is directly related. How did this happen? Chicken and the egg.

I learned of him through studying the scriptures, and then from there I loved and loved which prided me to want to know more. The more I knew, the more I loved. This is beauty.

Puzzles

I love everything about puzzles, but my favorite part is when the pieces are running out and each one fits in a place it seems the other pieces were reserving just for them.

Little seed

It is a popular children's song to compare faith to a seed, to explain our trial of faith, and we learn that it is after the trial of our faith that we learn it was a good seed. It must be planted properly and nourished, etc. It is not enough to have a good seed.

Today, as I was explaining to Mary that her seed was likely dead I realized it symbolized so much more. I assured her that I was,not giving up yet, and if we took what we learned assuming it was a good seed, perhaps another would survive, but it was not merely just a bad seed.

Sunday notes

If we even think it is from God we obey.

Temples each diminish power of Satan on earth.

Stay in the boat and hold on, a talk he felt inspired to revisit. It would be strange to have your words on file like that.

Most importantly follow the first rule to stay in the boat, no matter what happens. Metaphor

Story of how on a ship in peril a captain asked who knew how to pray. A LDS missionary said,he did so the captain said, "good. You pray then, and we will all get in the lifeboats, but we are one short." Reminds me how many rely first on the immediateness of the world.

10 And Adam lived one hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his own image, and called his name Seth.
11 And the days of Adam, after he had begotten Seth, were eight hundred years, and he begat many sons and daughters;

Wow, how could he even remember all of his children, he was mortal.

Love yourself first, then your neighbor.

Christ was persecuted by those who were the leaders of his religion. The ones who might have been most familiar of the scriptures which clearly prophecies of him.

Truth may provoke but it is not changed from being truth.

It was believed that Christ was killed and tormented because of what he said.

I am glad

I was relooking up a scripture that struck me as significant. Especially this time of year. It was about a thing that troubled, probably still does, my dad. It is regarding the first and second ressurrections. While I was looking up a particular thing I read, I found a comment regarding our judgement. It reminded me the things we will be held accountable for are our thoughts, words, deeds, and I love this one, our intents.

I wanted to.find a place and time to record how glad I am that the very desires of our heart will be used to judge us, because often, I feel helpless, but I would have done differently, and instead of beat myself up for failing to live up to my potential, I can know that what I want will actually be taken into.account. I just hope it is not used as a standard to measure our actions! One time, a servant of the Lord told me that in matters like tithing where in my heart, I surely would be a full tithe payer, but I fear my husband is not, and I do not make an income. He explained that the attitude is more of a consequence than.a current situation was.

No one is that altruistic

I was thinking how funny it would be if someone actually researched enough to find out what exactly I did or liked. That would make me far more important than I ever considered. That could not be true, simply because no one could e en be that much interested in another person, although it could be possible in that it could be, but I have difficulty even imagining anyone selfless enough to put anyone else's ideas in a place of greater imortance than their own.

I still have to look it up, but it has been something that has been on my mind for a very long time, but I have never valued it enough to think of it, and I still do not think it will matter to me, but I will look it up and think about it a bit.

I will have to find it first in order to study it's useability or significance. It is in the Book of Mormon where the King of the Lamanites is speaking to Ammon and Ammon is privy to the thoughts of the king or maybe that is not what happened then, but the thought is that it is a thing that has been recorded as happening where another's very thoughts.

So much opposition

I feel like I may have been wrong in assuming opposition was decided to not work on me, so a new technique of flattery was used. But, I see now clearly the opposition to a thing I want makes me want it more cause that suggests it comes from a gut reaction of anger, that could not be masked for a deceptive purpose. It is like a reaction. My choice is one that it is unexpected and it meets so much opposition that I think of a screwtape desperately wringing his hands screaming, "pull out the stops! This is important." It is not a calculated thing, it is desperation.

Anyhow, it only makes,me more determined to go against what is opposed to what I know is good in the first place.

Just started singing this to myself

It is in response to being alone when I only do what I do in hopes of going home, and I doubt home is lonely.

The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?: http://youtu.be/pEq8DBxm0J4

A good way to live

If you can manage to find hope grab a hold of it and let it edify you until you begin to manifest the quality of life you lack.

How to tell if it is a good song

You can tell the song has reached it's potential when the song doesn't change, but it still fits your mood perfectly.

Kinda like religion.

Jonah and the you know

This morning Mary decided that she wanted to change her FHE song to "Follow the prophet". So, I thought, well, can she even do that? It has so many verses. Sure, she likes the picardy third and the redundancy of the chorus, all kids do. Then I decided to print out the verses for the adults if she was determined. As I listened to it, I thought, hmmm, they call it a whale. Oh, but we only believe the Bible to be doctrine as far as it is translated correctly, and for kids the finer point is that it is the story that matters. Such thought made sense sorta like how we changed wine to water in the sacrament, and hot drinks to coffee and tea. It is the intent or spirit of a thing that matters.

Upon consideration, I thought, "Well, it is easy to see that the things most prophets told us and whether or not their stories are exact, they warn and instruct."

Yesterday, in class we were studying a very difficult principle so the teacher had someone read a metaphorical story from a children's manual that was clear to us all. Again, the story was obviously fiction, but the principle was conveyed in a digestable way.

Point was, some very wisemen who were not there on the boat or even know how God communicated to Jonah, felt that there was a principle to be taught that would be of great worth to others. And guess what? I can really relate.

As of late, I have been trying to run from a thing that I cannot mistake although I have tried so hard. But, Jonah was not allowed to just die and escape, but he had to face the thing that seemed too hard for him. It is true that God is like that. No matter what really happened, it does provide encouragement and example.

Maybe, it's intuition, but somethings you just don't question...thank you Savage Garden for the words! I am not going to run away and try to be safe anymore. To accomplish we need to take risks! It is only by forgetting our fear that we accomplish anything close to potential.