7th day

Hear me out, if you do not read to conclusion the wrong conclusion may be formed. I am not anti-religion, as I am not anti-school. but, if the pandemic's effects have taught me anything it is that spirituality is not defined by an organization.

The main reason I conclude this is because I see a strong relationship with the struggle of Joseph Smith to find the truth when everyone interprets it differently, to the new testament where Jesus was seen as heretical and was forced to redefine worship from the way it was being practiced, Even Moses or Abraham even organized people to escape a false teaching, and because people are social, it was used as a reinforcement to teachings to gather like-minds. This is a preparation for a Zion.

being at home with my family, I realized that I was being forced to be...eh, forced is much to strong of a word, maybe encouraged to be organized in a familial group to foster love, devotion, etc. being at home has forced us to pray more for truth, because frankly, I do not trust the internet.  

I did find myself looking to the internet sort of as social reinforcement, like I was accustomed to. for Scriptures and ideas in general one of the most significant being which day is the sabbath and where is it taught that we only meet once a week? well, curiosity got a hold of me and I wondered what "church" was like for Jesus. So, I looked up what happens and when in synagogues, thinking I would then understand how Catholics came to their ritualistic meeting. I was most riveted by the observance of Shabbat, and with it the readings. It is Saturday morning, and I feel like I would be doing something wrong if I worked too much (D & C 59:9-13) but, it is not Sunday, and we will be going to church anyhow, stupid brain. or is it a wise intuition? 

It is important that I am thinking about these things, I have bore witness before that I believe the church is true, but I ought to have clarified that the teachings of this religion is true, and it will never be removed from the earth again! although, like the Children of Israel, we are not prepared for many things. much as my little boy has been given the priesthood ( which is the power God used to create ) only his is merely a preparatory or Aaronic until he learns what he must to prove worthy of a greater thing, line upon line... milk before meat.

I have another important thing to mention.

The organization of families is something we are not really proving ourselves worthy of living up to yet. The conceptis perfect, sort of like Communism, but people mess it up. If a man loves a woman, then he cares for her and she cares for him, they learn to be selfless placing others before themselves. Then, it leads to children who are raised and loved and taught by example, etc. but, like Communism, people do not love one another,but because of institutions, they have children and itgoes on and onlike that in marraige, except those who get a divorce instead of realizing the love was a blessing, not a requirement and if people live forever they likewise have forever to accomplish things, one of which will be learning to love others. It just seems like people would have learned that. It is not a difficult concept, but man is naturally selfish...

Kings and Queens

 I have always loved the book of Isaiah, but realized that I did not KNOW it as well as I should. When Moroni visited Joseph Smith he quoted several scriptures and further said that it was very important to read and understand Isaiah. In particular he referred to Chapter 11 and said that it was shortly to come to pass  so, I was studying it and as prep for Easter, I was rehearsing other chapter s and I noticed in particular this time how it is commented that the remnant of Israel would be returning on the shoulders of kings and queens. In had never put the two ideas together, though I tend to think seriously about being anointed as kings and queens. It always calls to mind the scene from the recent Bible movie where David is annointed to be King. And he is not a king yet, but surely everyone knows it including Saul. So, no one is aware of anyone being annointed as king or queens, but it is sorta inevitable, so that much is literal. Is carrying people on their backs literal?

Another thing I want to add is something that I need to get out of my system... I want to make a video where I juxposition the director dude from "The Chosen" saying how he hated to make so many pleas for money, it makes him feel like a salesman with another speech where a dude from Israel says that too many people feel charitable and want to help the nation of Israel and so they send money and it feels like to them that they have done their charity, and yet Israel still needs. It sounds cliché for me to say it, but they need Living water not just a drink that will leave them thirsty again. I think if it is true that most of Israel is digitally present, then the best way to help them would be to support the method of getting a knowledge of Jesus to them. Each time I watch it I think, how much more this would help me truly understand and live better if I was a Jew living in Israel. Blah, blah, nope... Still nagging at me.

good, better, best ....

 I always liked good, better, best because it pointed out that it is not enough to merely be good. I used to think, "well, if our adversary knows us he will know that we will not do anything wrong, intentionally." So, to trip us up, we will not do horrible things, but good things, in a way that they keep us from doing the best things.

When I was at a Conference in Mississippi, we had a little "mock life". Admittedly I had a tiny advantage in that my parents were there teaching a class, so I knew that there were classes to take. And I did not know or trust or really love any of the leaders yet. When the leaders tried to convince people to go play games, that was an obvious hint to me that I ought not play games. If they would have tried to get people to go read scriptures or something, I might have stumbled and wasted my time doing that. To further complicate matters, the booths set up with teachers would refuse most people anyway, so others just quit trying that route and agreed to go play games and such. do you see what I am trying to say, here? We all just feel like doing something is better than doing nothing, and when teachers refuse to teach you anyway.... you tried, right? umm, not really hard enough.

If someone truly wanted to good, they would have ether have been somehow fortunate, like me, or tried to put the effort into figuring out why they were denied each class. Again, i just got lucky in that I took the first class first, and we were given little cards with stickers that gave permission to go to the next lesson in order. EPIPHONY!  It all came clear to me almost instantly, which I thought fortunate, but actually being forced into having to figure things out can be good. I didn't figure it out all well, actually, and the last bit was funny, but it pointed out to me an important thing in just the right way at just the right time (remember that quote, Raychelle?)

Here's what happened before we all died in a mock plane crash and were assigned kingdoms to await the final meeting of the night: The last class was on Families and Sealing. There were 2 boys and 6 girls in the class. I thought, hmmm... not going to take that class cause the boys are all ugly and they might make me get sealed to one of them. but I looked and no one else was even taking classes!! uh oh! what was I to do? I figured it out. I found some random guy and explained the game to him and sorta took him from playing with his friends (one of which was his girlfriend) to go through the classes in order. I got him to the last class and got sealed just in time , my group was the last one through before they announced the food was ready and we needed to "catch a pane to Hawaii".

So we all died on the plane and we were "judged" mostly it was according to the stamps on our cards, but also we were asked a personal question that defined our standing ultimately before God. So, I was assigned this beautiful place with music and flowing white curtains. I was checked on frequently by what I decided must be "ministering angels". It felt like a very long time that I was in the room alone. Everyone had gone on a tour of possible ,"kingdoms" so, I knew they were not individual rooms, but eventually others came and the last thing for the day was that people who did not have their spouse were gathered and assigned as children to other couples. Ah hah! perhaps we did not need a husband afterall! but, my guy was there and we were given a LOT of kids, but, when we were lead to the gymnasium to meet with everyone else, my family dispersed, other families stayed together!! urrrrgh! and then, they asked us to share our experience with everyone. Hahaha! Mine was that even if you do everything all right, you might be all alone. My husband had left to go be with his real friends and girlfriend who had not figured things out.

Just occurred to me and is important

 Yes, we can receive answers to prayers in ways we least expect. For me, in this instant it was a song. It was not in the actual lyrics, but occurred to me as I pondered the sentiment. For so long, I have wanted to do what was "my mission" as if it was a calculated set of things that I knew was not it. So long I have wanted to know what to want... Reminds me of that Carolina Liar song, "Show me what I'm looking for". My realization is that there is no particular thing I should want, I should just want. I have been afraid to let myself want anything in fear it might be wrong, but the point is that it is my choice and learning to chose is my lesson.... anyhow, other thoughts are waiting to be thought...