Life is the perfect example

I was thinking how one of the hardest things to sort out is things should be used. And it occurred to me how I naturally want to use things is actually quite different from how they are typically used, and often I am even amazed that they have an other purpose. I equate that to how we live.

One of my favorite stories is about how after graduation it occurred to me that one could possibly miss a class, it had never even occurred to me that I had a choice to not obey. I was told that one should slways attend class, so that is what I did.

The internet comes to mind. My husband imposes all of these restrictions that to me ruin a childhood but it is a protective measure to him, to me it suggests that there is a thing to be protected from. And it assumes that there is a thing to be protected from. Further, that makes me think about how many dangers there maybe that I am unaware of...

Till we have faces rant

I was listening to the book "Till We Have Faces" by CS LEWIS which I had read in my youth, but I although I can see how impressions were formed,  I do not remember,even key points, like the frequent mention of faces and eyes or how it is actually a great argument warning about trusting philosophies of men.

Most specifically,  I want to comment on a scene that impressed me which never had at all before. And older sister was looking on from a distance trying to find a sister who had been prepared to look like everyone else, in heavy make up, mask and identical clothing. The observing sister was upset by the garb and makeup and she found it nearly impossible to pick out her younger sister (whom with she had been well aquainted since birth) and above that to ascertain her feelings as they had been "masked". The actual words were to the effect of not being able to discern her emotion which was usually plainly observed on her face, but because of the mask it was hard to tell what she was even looking at. I instantly drew a parallel to what I have always felt about make up, it might make us fit in with the multitude, but not appear like ourselves or as beautiful as we might otherwise be.

The youngest daughter was so beautiful that it was believed that "the god(des)" was made jealous and required her life. I thought how it seems foolishness to us, but, there is so much truth it, too. What makes us all desire to look beautiful? Why would one even believe that to be beautiful would be a thing of worth to anyone, let alone a goddess? But, we all consider it sensible to wear large amounts of makeup. We all want to cover up anything that might cause us to stand out or gain attention. Infact we call such things as frekles or moles, or even general blotchiness or acne an imperfection cause who we naturally might be is unacceptable. I used to think something was wrong with me because I preferred the "before" photos when viewing a make over of any type. I also thought it a shame to wear make up or fix my hair because I did not want to change what naturally happened. Ok. Although we believe it is obvious foolishness to believe in human sacrifice to a goddess of a mountain, we wear large ammounts of makeup or costumes that are both inconvenient and uncomfortable to satisfy...well, who are we satisfying anyway? It is like there is a morality of appearance or something.
I used to think that I could not be very "righteous" because I was not beautiful. Finally, I decided that I wanted to radiate because things filled with the glory of God were bright (like how Moses's face shown when he saw God). I decided that if God could bear to look at me, that would be beautiful. Is that any less sensible? *shrug*

What I learned about light work

I was thinking about how tired I get doing simple tasks, and I need a break. But, really they are sych simple tasks, but together, uninterrupted they seem much worse. I instantly recognized thus was the very thing I notice with exercises.

I like running because I notice a drammatic effect almost instantly with burning legs,  sweat or an increased pulse, done long enough I even feel exhaustion. But, what about the things I do that seem so mundane and simple like a sit up? I wonder is this even work? But, after about 50 of them I wonder if I wven could make it to 100.

I do make it to 100. It is alot like taking a step in my mind. It takes very many steps to get somewhere, but if you only worry about taking one step, many times; then, it will end up being a great distance.

I am thinking about jobs I do around the house though, not doing exercises. But, I was taught that to understand an angle that is unknown, we use what is known. Usually, we know a side length or another angle. So, as my dad taught, to understand greater complexity in an unknown we examine a greater complexity in a familar thing. It is the same way we understand complex ideas through parables.

Nothing I do in itself sems difficult, but together, everything requires a break. Thursday and Friday are called "fall break" though,  I somehow doubt I will actually get a break. Somehow, I simply must, though!

Where are they?

I often wonder where are the people my age, especially when I see someone my age and do not recognize them as such. This is something I have been considering since, well, before I was even 40 years old.

My theory is that the reason there are so few of people my age who are members of the church started as paranoia that perhaps they all knew something I did not, finally deciding that I would wait until I figured it out. But, as I learn more the more I end up believing things I cannot yet understand. I have noticed a huge difference between me an others although we conclude the same things as real they have this some sort of extra sense that everything is based on, and they call it the holy spirit, and it confuses and makes everything a mystery that only the chosen few can grasp and understand, thus their children (my peers) try for a thing they cannot possibly grasp yet. It is actually alot like God trying to teach us in his way of seeing things, huh? I heard a good lecture yesterday where a person explained teaching of Godly things by using the metaphor of a Kindergarten teacher. That clicked and I understood what happened to the people my age. I see it in the elementary school here, teachers teach to a level and expect children to work to get it, and if they don't they are simply not meant to grasp things, instead of observing how a child learns and using it to explain the things they must understand.

Utah children seem more advanced, but I bet they have more children considered "special" cause it is all about sink or swim, and coddling is considered not preparing them, and like Lucifer, it is so extremely close to the truth that it can be almost undestinguished from it. The truth is that overcoming obstacles makes us fit for greater things, like a bird breaking out of it's shell, or butterfly from his cocoon. We have all heard "what does not kill you makes you stronger." So, instead of teaching to a level that naturally a child is at, instead they teach to a given level, afterall that is the point of classes full of students. That is what I love about preschool, it prepares a child to understand at the level taught, but teaching at the child's level...but, I digress. I meant to address why so many left the faith they were raised with, if it was true.

My theory is that things as they were understood were not true, and when that was doscovered they were considerably more understanding and assumedthey were enlightened because they could see that what they had supposedly been taught was untrue. Even now, I am far far below the state of so many of the parents of my peers, because I have taken a different route.

I heard yesterday that of our facets of bring reasoning is by far the weakest. I first tried to reason everything out starying in a college philosophy class, I assigned myself the task of writting a paper to reason out the existance of God. I stood on the shoulders of Blaise Pascal, and felt good about it. But, I found loop holes in anything I reasoned, so I developed a cynical sense that tried to doubt anything could ever be known.

Finally, I realized that *I* could never know anything if I only reasoned it. That seemed like a long life for nothing so I started paying attention to more of ME than my thoughts, and I realized among my talents and abilities is to know things but, it was not going to be reasoning alone, but I had reason to believe I could come to a knowledge of things as they were although it might take years and years, then you add to it the notion I had already chosen to live by which was, "mortality is to be lived by faith."

Or is that just a thing to encourage thinkers, you can never know things, so just know that. I found this issue finally considered and written about in a book called the Book of Mormon. In the subtitled book of Ether I genuinely wanted to know what they had decided about this trouble. It is called feasting on words when you want to know/read them so badly the best way to explain the feeling is liken it to eating. The book said that we do not recieve any witness  (knowledge) until after a trial of our faith. Again, if true, this truth is so close to the thing I cried earlier was the cause of ignorance, meaning we need obstacles to overcome, to gain anything, this is understood by many as a law of sacrifice, it is afterall how we trade money or earn it by giving up a thing for another or supposed worth. In a trial of faith we experience a difficult thing in return for knowledge, but

Who's on the Lord's side?

As I was reading this morning again from the book I have come to love as it reaffirms things I hold dear, I read this thought provoking passage:

"The overwhelming burden on the shoulders of the American revoltionaries was not lost on the soldiers pinned down at Long Island. They knew what was at stake...'I cannot help hoping, even believing, that Providence has designed this continent for to be the asylum of liberty and true religion.'...'after the waters had receded from off the face of this land it became a choice land above all other lands, a chosen land of the Lord (Ether 13:2).

'But do we not find that both religion and liberty seem to be expiring and gasping for life in that other continent? --where, then, can they find a harbor or place of refuge but in this?'"

Another earlier quote comes from Thomas Paine's "Common Sense":

"A situation, similar to the present, hath not happened since the days of Noah until now."

I am so glad to have my attention focused on this, lest I forget what God can do to accomplish his work.

Instantly, I think of David and Goliath and how David was able to overcome what seemed impossible because he had Hod on his side. This seemed to work for waring nations, the victor proved to hold the hand of providence, but, does not every side believe they are on God's side or why bother surely it is God who wins, not might.

Now, cue an older film "The Mission" where European monarchs fear growing power of the missions and destroy them. The Jesuit preist protrayed by Jeremy Irons states, "If might is right then Love has no place in this world." right before he collapses to die...so what of Paul's teachings of Charity that were so profound? Surely, God was on this side, right?

Well, until this morning, such ideas had plagued me, until I realized winning a war does not mean fufilling God's will. Maybe it was a test to see if love was a thing to preach but not practice (the movie was not entirely fictional, btw). In this revolutionary war, I think God was likely found on both sides, like saying when it rains that the farmers prays must've been more righteous than the kids who wanted to play.

But, it was the purpose of God, undeniably, to have a land of Freedom and a topic of fascination to my son right now, independence. The Earth needed a place for a restoration of religion of Jesus Christ.

Think I just solved the creation/evoltuion thingy

Ok, I heard a thing that was one of those buttons that set off a chain reaction. It all started beause I heard this: "... is man found on the earth?" It is leading up to a descision to create man where God does so in Gen 1:26 - "¶ And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness"

But, and I do not want to be thought that I was running crazy with my thoughts and just off on an unnecessary tangent, so I wondered where the idea to represent God as asking if Man could be found yet is recorded. Cause, frankly, I had never even thought much of it. I wanted to include such documentation here, but could not actually find it. Perhaps it is just someone's idea believed long enough to almost become a fact in itself.

I had had questions back in my teens about Dinosaurs, cause I wanted to be a paleontologist. I asked this scholar dude how to make sense of time frames given for dinosaurs. The commonly taught reckoning of time that places Jesus Christ at the middle makes the Earth not as old as the Dinosaur bones. The scholar easily explained it like this: because in the creation God used matter to form the Earth, and fossils, it is assumed, lived on "Earth" but, it is possible the dinosaurs never lived on earth, but that they had lived on some of the matter that was organized to form the Earth. That was easy enough. It proved to me that there is always a way to explain a problem away. It doesn't mean the explination is right. It just explains that things cannot be instantly rejected as right or wrong either

Now, regarding evolution... I wondered if man may have similarly already existed on the chunks used to form the earth, or maybe some runaway people decided to live on the Earth cause it was so ideal. But, my next explination made the most sense. We know that things evolve. It is foolish to say that an ape could not evolve into a man when so much DNA is shared, but why does it no longer happen or constantly happen? There ought to be new species evolving to form man, but I don't think there are any. Anyhow, God knew evolution was possible. It could have been used as s tool to create man, but he searched the earth and did not find any man on it. 

He created this paradise intended for mankind, so he created them (¶ And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness) Our Likeness? So, not only does the Bible talk about a CREATION  of man, but, a plural God (with a plural pronoun "our").

What I was really most excited about was another possibility that proved both evolution and creation. I had accepted the idea that evolution was merely a method of creation. I cannot explain away evolution. It surely DOES happen, and yet, man was searched for and not found on the earth and so needed to be created. Maybe, this idea is another evidence that man was created not evolved (without tossing the notion of evolution away).