testimonies

It is natural that such a topic weighs heavily on my mind as the begining of the month approaches.

Thinking a whole lot about what I believe using as an arsenal all of the things I have learned. I want to be sure. 100%sure of things, and I am sure it will occurr to me in some miraculous, shareable way. But, as I thought about how badly I wanted to be confident somehow The following thought came to me:

Perhaps, you doubt because your only merchants of a truth are mistaking emotion for God. Too many bear witness of thing in such an untrue way that I start to doubt, which is actually good. The fact that I recognize their suggested truth as false does not mean the truth itself is not true, only that the way it is presented to be is recognized by as shakey. Let me give an example to clarify my words.

A Catholic priest bears a testimony that Jesus is the Son of God. And He is, but further he explains how such a position has been reached and I know that much is not correct, but it does not follow that Christ is not the only begotten.    .... I keep falling asleep typing this...I'll write later

think, believe

I said I knew something. But I really only think it. Which lead me to deciding on this relationship:

Believing is to Faith as thinking is to knowing.

just taking a pause break to record a thought

It was an unexpected occurrances, it happened, (it being a thought), when a lecturer was explaining the two types of memory. My first thought was that perhaps the unconscious memory is what is what I consider eternal. Ok. Then an example was shared of a man who had brain damage to the point that he had absolutely no concious memory. I recalled seeing this dude and thinking it surely was an act, but it was proven he was legit like Dory (on Finding Nemo, the Disney cartoon). But, a task was given him each day, which he had no recollection of doing and yet he would improve by the repitition. It was like lightening struck me. That is what is missing in my lack of improvement. I practice and practice and practice but each time my performance is as if it was utterly new. I decided a while ago this was muscle memory failure. I simply lacked the ability to communicate with my muscles properly. BUT, then the lecturing guy explained this situation proved undeniably that there are more memory sources and though one did not work (the concious my memory in this case) the other obviously did. I thought, "well, yeah, his unconscious memory was being used to record eternally significant tasks." Pause the video.

You seeing what I am? Maybe I am being subtly encouraged to go work on other traits because those talents were already perfected and I am entirely misdirected in seeking success....blah, blah, blah...