Where are they?

I used to love to extreme the musical "The Garden" I would accompany myself as I sang I Can't Grow and I Am Nothing over and over. It was like they were my theme songs. At this time I happened, in my studies, upon a curious thought. "Where are all the great LDS entertainers"? It stood to reason that such fantastic seeds of thought, etc would produce the finest fruit. My answer is that they are doing important things, like raising the future generation, and they, rightly, do not have time for such persuits, or stumbling blocks.

But, like the Berlin Wall, almost instantly things changed and man finds so much more time and what better way to influence, Huh?

Ok, now time to sythesize the two ideas. I watched what persuing a path that leaves one out there does to a man (or woman). I used to wonder why can't I grow? I thought, they are no better in any way then me when I watched sucessful entertainers. Because of things in my pb I always assumed it meant that I would end up in the limelight where I could be the best example. Ahhh! Hah! Not yet, little one, not yet! It is like drinking from the Holy grail and choosing incorrectly means death. I am upset that I do not to get to drink first, but I am getting the opportunity to learn from others mistakes so not as to repeat failures...

Quickly, I must interject a funny game we play in preschool where a mouse is hodden behind one of about 9 different colored houses. The game is "Mouse, What color is your house?" And it amazes me how very very often after maybe 13 attempts the correct color/house has not been chosen to reveal the mouse.

A friend of mine once described a thing called family or generational repentance. Don't bother looking it up, it is not really a thing. He suggested that a truth temains eternal but each generation seeks to apply it a way that is dependent on seeing how it has worked thus far.

I realize that I have not been ready to succeed and would have shared a similar fate to those who tried to follow a life that I felt like I deserved.

Trust

I put a titke of TRUST because that us what it boils down to every time my thoughts are followed to extremes before jumping ship at the last minute.

That wasn't a riddle.

Imagine you are playing something akin to hunger games. I always in any situation, try to figure a way one can perhaps ally themselves while appearing to win or loose properly, as expected, by the viewer.

Like trying to solve the riddle allowing everyone to win something. This includes the outside observer. But, the only way to allow everyone to win is by trusting eachother.

I get upset because I love movies and plays, but it is because I believe the fake things, and want to believe the things I thought were true really were. I realize they are all performed stories, the only represent a person acting sad, or happt whatever. So when they create cause and effect, I am sucked in and I take from it, a truth that never was, and it hurts a bit because I feel betrayed or tricked.

I suppose I always carry with me a notion that will not believe, but maybe unconciously, I am creating nueral pathways. For instance, yesterday night, I was watching a documentary that said a thing about discoveries at Abydos, Egypt. And I cried out that is exactly what Michael Shanks said. Although true. I meant that was a thing a fictional scientist named Daniel Jackson believed.

More about atoms...

I spend way too much time thinking about atoms, it is not healthy. Anyhow, I have never satisfactorily answered my question regarding what in an atom determines things like color, scent,  texture, etc. You know, the things that distinguish one atom from another, it is taught that they are all made of the same thing (all elements that is) but if one electron is used to make a hydrogen atom an another a helium atom, how do they end up so different assuming the electrons do not exhibit unique properties themselves.

Last night, I heard an interview where someone claimed that all creations are light, well I like to understand one thing, thereby understanding the other, but I do not even know how electrons create such different things, so the idea that a same light could creat entirely different things escapes me, too.

If you read this and understand how, please, explain it!

This is what I tell myself, anyway

So, faith can move mountains and all, but where do you want them? I think most moutains are already perfectly situated.

Faith, cannot make someone fall in love with you, right? Sorta common knowledge. We often hope for the change of a person's will, citing machievellian claims that it is for their own good.

Today, on my walk home I saw a snail and almost stopped to pick it up and move it off of the sidewalk. To help it, right? But, we claim that hardship is for our good. That did not appease me because a few feet later there was a dead worm being swarmed by feasting ants. The realist in me said, "eat or be eaten, circle of life. Those ants probably have a family depending on them." I was pleased with my choice, not because the ants,needed food, the snail was moving slowly toward the grass, I could see the glistening trail. It would simply take it a while, but due to considerations about the ant families. I thought, yeah, you know people often try to help without thinking of the consequences. I almost picked up the snail and totally frightened and disoriented him and back home somewhere his wife and kids would be patiently waiting for daddy to drag his sorry butt back home. And that is what I reminded myself as I walked on. "At least he will eventually get home. Home is a better goal than merely staying alive or finding an easier way.
But now, back to why I originally wrote this post. A man was bragging about his wife. I loved it so much! He honestly feels like he tricked her into marrying him. Soooo cute. I instantly thought "hey! Maybe you cannot force someone to love you, but you can surely somehow force them into marrying you. Where there is a will there is a way. Then, once married, the other party might somehow reach the conclusion that they wanted to marry you all along." Just a thing I was thinking to myself when I started considering lyrics of a song, although what song escapes me now, funny that.

A cool happening!

I am not new to this phenomena, but it still amazes me when I witness it. Regardless what you believe is happening, this happens and it is so cool to be a part of it.

I teach a class of 8 yr olds, and often because our wanderings seem to go as many directions as their are children and it is my job to try to keep a fundamental purpose in their minds as we discuss, right now, Bible Stories.

A boy interrupted the lesson, which I was reading the overarching purpose of our "discussion". He interrupted to tell us what happened the other week. We had been learning about Jacob and Esseau maybe. Somehow we wandered off so I tried to rein all of their thoughts in by uniting them under a common theme. I had forgotten about it, myself. I had told them that was,why it is soooo extremely important to keep our promises. If we say something, we need to do it. And such was true with a birthright. Ofcourse, there was nothing besides a person's words that made a person right or wrong, and the inheriter of all the blessings of a father. It seemed like Isaac would just realize the mistake and recant, but he did not because his words and blessing were binding. This is true for marriage and everything. A thing is a promise that binds us so we need to enter them cautiously and then never change our mind. Like I had said, I do not even remember that I solely remrmber teaching the story. But, this was the lesson that entered intothis precious little heart, and he mentioned how many stories throughout the week ended up dealing with that same issue and so the idea was cemented in his mind.

A similar thing happened where I got to see how it was sort of regardless what I taught that the children learned what mattered most to them. To leave the classroom (3-5 year olds) they needed to tell me one thing that they learned from class that day. I was suprised that the things, oftimes were things that had never even occurred to me, but had been gleaned from what I taught.

This is true whenever we teach true things, stories, or principles. Pieces that fill the longing/currently empty energy levels will be absorbed. Whatever the child needs to learn right now will be absorbed,  and it us why we repeat things so often. One time Lena, my oldest daughter sat next to me in Relief Society (a class for women when she was only about 9 yrs old). After the class, almost shocked, she was suprised to hear that we learned the same things. She expected that we would have learned that by now (I do not even remember what the lesson was). She was expecting it was where I was taught of of these secret mysteries of the universe, but, it was just the truth told over and over and over again.

Another really important thing I learned about teaching young children (actually teach opposed to what we all believe that teaching is) that forcing particular skills or thoughts is never the desired success. And oftimes, no obvious success can be discerned, and happiness and eagerness toward knowlegde and truth is the most desirable thing. Oftimes we are but a step, and many,many, many steps will be taken before a principle is grasped. Many of the Bible stories are merely being introduced full knowledge of the "morals" and themes will not be grasped at this point. That is why I loved this story. The child was taught what he needed at that point, and it gives a sense of fufilment despite the apparent lack.

My husband and I study the lesson and pray and then talk to the kids and let them adapt the story to fit what they want to hear if it comes off as pointless meandering, and playing, so be it. I know better. We do not have the time in one hour to teach them everything that has occurred as significant as we prepare, but all that information is available to be dispensed as needed.

Ester

Ok, so, I was watching the cartoon story of Ester last week, and liked it so much that I clicked on it on YouTube to be reinspired, and I was but, my thoughts took an entirely different direction.

I actually stumbled on this new thought by trying to imagine myself in such a position, as we often do by replacing words of scriptures with our own name. Ok, so I started getting all upset instead of inspired.

The same moral of the story worked for perhaps she was "born for such a time." But, I thought, do we not teach our young children that marriage should only be with those of our faith, in the right time and right place? Eeek! Ester had to Marry the king  (and not pray publically, but hide who she really was) for her people. If it were me, which it wasn't, I would feel terrible, like I was missing the whole point and purpose of being. So, what if I saved lives if I ruined my own, "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God." Souls are not merely spirits or merely bodies.

As I was finding this strange yet undeniable sort of paradox, I thought of a thing I had read years ago written by Tal Bachman, not to credit him, but just to explain where I read it. I was not looking for information from "dissenters" or anything. I merely liked the way his mind worked and was almost addicted to his words. Anyhow, he said that it did not matter where we looked, pretty much any story or principle we looked at, loopholes would jump out at us, and they always do (I recall being impressed by his analogy to simple arithmetic and it didn't add up).

I would follow the counsel of Dieter Uchtdorf to "doubt my doubts." And soon enough my struggle to make peace is won with a new stronger faith for having "hefted that weight" like I teach my kids,  to build muscle we are actually tearing and ripping tissue and as it repairs it is stronger and that is why they are sore sometimes.

https://youtu.be/Oo1A3sOvHyo

Shanara

One of the central issues from season 1 that I gravitate to when contemplating major life issues has nothing to do with the violence, excessive blood, love triangles or beautiful actresses, any show can be watched if one sought those things, so I tell myself they were just thrown in to fill quotas but the real issues are why I come back and endure all of the despictable things. One of the favorite issues is included in the story of the king elf who did what he thought best for his children and nation but, then the situation the faced though it could be dealt with through fable and legend, to give one's life the truth was necessary. Specifically, the king had raised his family not to believe events that occurred as literal, and that magic was not true, but then much happened that required him to acknowledge that magic did indeed exist.

Magic comes with a cost, though, and the king ends up paying with his life.  Well into season 2, a faction provides the major struggle in the plot, which has the purpose of destroying magic. This makes me perhaps understand a bit why the king tried to destroy all belief in magic by denying it's existence in the first place.

Currently, I am trying to figure out who I, as a viewer, am supposed to see as the good guy. The elf dude/Shanaran who represents Magic or the Elf Ursurper whi seeks to erradicate all magic.

The season started with the hero dealing with magic or not in his desire to heal. He seems perfectly suited for medicine, but it is only because he is ideally suited for Magic. A mentor even explains that madicine is not his thing, but he claims that although it is true that he saved the world with magic, it comes with a huge price, which he is not willing to pay, but the desire to help still lives within him.