When I got home I saw an earthworm outside of our home on the blacktop so it looked dead and I couldn't pick it up but it wasn't it wasn't trying to resist me at all so I figured it was must have been past being saved but I thought of how many people considered themselves past being saved, pretty deep huh? Suddenly, I had a great idea I looked quickly for a stick or something to slide under it because my fingers I was afraid to push pinch too tightly and smush it so I got a piece of grass and I split it underneath it and tried to pick it up and when I did I noticed it started moving and so I quickly was able to direct it towards the grass and in my mind I thought oh maybe I have sufficiently repented for throwing that other worm into the road cuz this one was going to survive.
It was at that point that I came to my senses I realize you know that worm so what if it dies. It can't feel anything because it doesn't have a brain. I was trying to humanize it and make it have feelings and purposes as we do. That is when the thought came to me wait a second we as humans say the only reason why we feel anything or sense anything is because of our brains well they don't have brains. Now is when my foot comes into play.
I was taking off my boots inside the home and I noticed that there is blood everywhere and I looked at the side of my foot apparently (maybe you don't know this about me but I have no feeling on my left foot) one of my toenails had grown a little bit too long and was cutting into my foot and I didn't feel it at all. I thought oh there's score one for science.
It was true I did not need to worry about that worm just as I didn't need to worry about my foot because I only would feel it if I had a brain or if my brain was communicating with my foot and worms didn't even have this. The same goes for bugs; so, I didn't need to worry so much about killing them in the future because they didn't feel anything and that's really what we decided mattered ultimately.
We being my children. We discussed the thing about death that scared us. They agreed it was pain that they feared most, not passing away. This pain? Well, there is no pain for these animals, right?
Then I started really considering things. I thought well as long as the person doesn't have a brain then we could kill him, according to science. I had many such thoughts. Ultimately I decided that it's a good thing I don't put my trust in science. In fact, science is not necessarily trustworthy it's kind of like what I consider a crutch. I consider many things are crutch. These things are not bad things they're just things that are used temporarily to help us achieve something. But, I also noticed this morning that although my intentions were good at helping my children so often it also made them unable to do things that most children ought to be able to do. Likewise, I think science although gives us a little bit of peace of mind right now to have a sure answer it's actually help hurting us in the long run because it makes us dependent on it. When we're dependent on the things that we can think of that is dangerous.
Recently, I had decided that most of the things that I believe in are a result of things which I cannot comprehend but I know nonetheless. And eventually my thoughts will catch up. For now, my brain power is not strong enough.
