Watching a video conference between two "White" people, and I was struck to notice something that might be seen as common was not at all common. One man's skin looked pinkish at it's base where the other man had a base that I recognized as I had been called "jaundice girl" and struggled to find makeup that matched my skin tone as My sisters all wore the same color as my mom, but I could not. Whatever color this dude was, so am I. I wanted to think about what causes the color, and that makes me think about what about an electron changes the perception of a color. Think, think, think...
Whenever we trace order back we find the origin in intelligence, not in a substance that created the order, that is a very good thought that can be at last understood by considering every possible occurrence can be summed up as either being acted upon or acting upon. It terms of the origin of life it supports intelligent design and not bang there it is......another thing to think about... just this morning I was thinking about Pascal's Wager and feeling good about it, but if my mind ever attempts to drift this thought will surely snap me back to a greater truth, that all thinking extended purposefully would return unanswered which would in itself prove intelligence..... j'ai du travaille
I have thought, since ever I thought, that sacrifice must only exist in the notions of those who sacrifice. because, it seemed that every sacrifice, included giving up a thing and almost instantly being rewarded with something greater. So, what people call sacrifice is actually what we call growth, Growth of any sort requires change and potential, very temporary hardship or sadness. Isn't that simply part of any change?
I was thinking about this all in microcosm as I played a Role-playing Game. In the game a "quest" which carries a reward on financial compensation is to purchase this item which is equal to what is instantly compensated. It seemed pointless, expect that there is a further reward to be earned in completing a number of these "quests". So of the quests are challenging and I do not see the compensation those it probably exceeds the sacrifice. the one in particular merely costs the same price as the task pays, if I did not see a larger picture I would not be able to see the sese of it at all.
In the game, I see how particular sacrifices seem meaningless, but ought to be performed anyhow and this is like things we are asked to do that seem to make sense, like eating vegtables or doing math homework. further I see how the game moderator/creator would encourage to do tasks by assigning value to them as a means to sort of create stronger players... Is that making sense or do I need to extrapolate further?
I originally sought to make a record of this because I hoped to share an insight I keep having about doing hard things. I almost think it is an incentive because it is through hardship that we become more like Christ.
I actually ought to be doing something else, and I do not even remember the last time I typed out my thoughts, but today, someone came over and left a little card that told me to record something, which was exactly what I had already said on facebook. I decided not to write it out again. but, it has been on my mind alot, about how I need to do WHATEVER it takes to be sealed to my family. I actually was talking to the kids on the way to school precisely about that, and they again expressed their desire to be sealed as well. It was solidified, I had to be sealed to all of my children. I really did not worry much because I was sealed to the older children, although, their father has subsequently left the church, I was without a spouse, though. Then I asked the kids if they thought Nick would want to be sealed to the older kids as well. I wondered if it was necessary, because they were already sealed to me, and we were actually getting a temple in Layton!!! So, I needed to ask Nick to get his act together, but did I truly even want that, hmm that somehow led me to consider many thing among them was the thought that keeps popping up but I push it down, It is, "Why do people oppose the church so vehemently?" Seriously, that alone makes my testimony of it's value increase.
I decided that it is because, like the knitting project I was working on, at row 25 I tore it all apart to do over, and it caused sorrow and upset feeling, ones of inadequacy. It is when a thing requires alot of us and we give it, but do not see any return, we get upset. growing up, I always heard my friend's parents say that if their congregation had half of the faith and determination we mormons do the world might achieve peace, or something great. they would express in some way, to me, that I was working so hard to accomplish something that was not right. ok, back to my knitting... It looked pretty good. I could have just kept going and pointed out the improvements, but I wanted to create something marvelous and of worth, that would last, an heirloom, if you will. I think that is what those who persecute the church think. It is soo extremely close to being perfect... oh, oh! I got the perfect story for what I mean. It is called "The Birthmark" by Nathaniel Hawthorn. this alchemist marries this most beautiful woman who is perfect in every way Except a small little birthmark on the side of her cheek. And he nearly obsesses about how to remove it, and finally figures out a way, but he also kills her as it fades.
Oh, sorry, I never recorded the story of my parents sacrifice for the sake of having temple ordinances. I had only recently heard the entire story, myself. to summarize, My parents believed so fully, that they sold their home to have enough money to travel to the nearest temple which was in Salt Lake City, when my mother was pregnant with me they took the journey to the temple in SLC from Michigan. i often tell the story of how I ad actually been in utah before I was born, but I had never heard them complsain about needing to sell everything in order to be sealed forever. It is truly important to them, as it should be to us all as we understand more.
