photos 2008 Cont.

photos

Love

It bewilders me. the thought resounds more frequrntly than I care to admit, but am I even capable of love? I like to play the game of if I could be anywhere doing anything what would I be doing? then once that is solved I only need to excercise patience and it will happen.

I love Brandall, but the likliness of him eer falling in love with me is foolish.

I had an extremely weird idea that I cannot speak of or type, only in riddles, as unsatisfying as that is, it would be like blasphemy, but I know nothing that's the stem of my problem, how to turn faith into knowledge and still be alive.

I think that I'm not supposed to know, If God is all-knowing and then he knows what I would think and feel, and can know how I will act. I believe that he loves me completely, so I want to please him, so what's the prpblem? easy: will I ever know love? or should I just keep trying? in life I tak test and do not leave answers blank cause I don't know but guess and learn more by searching to know. si If I apply that... Is there somebody? is Brandall still the one for me or ought I try to love another? Could I? hmmm

Gotta be somebody - Nickelback

I was very happy with my life, until I decided to listen to more Nickelback music and the thought keeps filling my head that I love Brandall, and am glad to not be divorced cause I would end up sealed to someone else for eternity.

the still small voice tells me that I am alive for a rreason, and things are happening for my best, as always, I just need to quit any selfish will whatsoever and realize that my part must be played and if it is, and I do my job the way I have been taught and prepared that I will ultimately be rewarded.

I just want out of here right now, but I have been taught to not let what I want "Right now" get in the way of my ultimate needs, I also think on the fact that there is often alot of rihgt choices but one will be the best, sounds like I need to reevaluate my life and pray harder, and be willing to do whatever is needed. I switched from being or feeling like Job to feeling like Jonah, sure he tried to escape, so did Christ, but, "the ways of god will not be frustrated."

I want to be me and do what is right for me and see where that leads me. I want to find that I am with "somebody" forever that I love whatever that is. "I will know it by the feeling."