One size fits all

Fact of the matter is that everyone wants to be like everyone else and so it is only human to want to know how an infant/todler compares to others at a similar age. But, honestly, we all admire those who stand out anyway. Only, not too much. We tell our kids, a talent is something you are good at that you enjoy, but the only way we will pay for it or glorify it in anyway is if it can be displayed, usually in a "talent show" and we wonder why people claim to have no talents....um, I apologize again.

I also need to alter some clothing for said children who do not fit any standard sizes. Though, I would not trade anything for a momentary peace of mind, where they just fit everything from learning curves to blue jeans.

Regarding Beethoven

This morning my thoughts turned again to Beethoven, odd, huh? I was thinking how I admired him for his self worth. Sure he was"in the spotlight" but had he received no fame he would have demanded it simply by being. He was familiar with Kings and queens enough to respect them and their supposed divine right below the admiration and respect for his own person. I wonder if I can find the quote...

Here is a good one: What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and will be a thousand princes; there is only one Beethoven.

That is my new sentiment regarding seeing myself as lowly. No more. I once wrote a song about how it was not popularity that wins my affection, I was sorry that it often wins my attention. Actually it is alot like kids say ing " Me. Me. Me" when they want to be chosen instead of just raising their hand.

There are individuals who demand awe and respectout of popular homage but greater still are those whom I naturally regard as significant.

It is almost a sort of callousness

I must reaffirm to myself that justice is for all. Those who choose a different happiness or peace will be rewarded as well as any other. Most specifically I refer to those who deny there is a God. That must hurt so much to give those you love the option to deny you and it is just to allow them to feel justified afterall with their reward or gratified in learning they were right. Still, it must be allowed. It pains me to think of loved ones who decide that God does not exist. I would like to think that they never realize there could have been more or that considering such only reminds them of how correct they are.

In college I described a belief in Jesus Christ like this: it is like a golf hole, it might be easier to just start with the ball teetering on the hole then tap it in and feel fulfilled at the accomplishment, but instead members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are on the edge of the roughage just hoping for a land on the green let alone a hole in one. I used that metaphor to explain the various degrees of Glory and each being equal to what was earned in mortality. In my philosophy class my view was supported by a professor who asked my Baptist peers in they would be able to remember me at all in Heaven, as they claimed that I would be in Hell. The teacher suggested one could not be at peace in Heaven knowing others were suffering so they must not be able to remember or something.

Further a book I read by C.S.Lewis documented the travels of those deserving hell filling a bus and traveling to heaven only to consider it he'll as who was allowed and how uncomfortable it was to be there. They wanted to go home to Hell where they belonged.

I suggest that each reward will be just and those loved ones who do not believe as we do I hope they never learn of any error of their way and that they feel justified in always thinking they were correct.

The most interesting thought is that I do pray that if I ever become blinded and start to value things other than they truly are eternally that someone care enough to help me course correct. For example: Even if I see no worth in a certain type that is most desirable under actual circumstances that I not be granted the immediate desires of my heart.

Ok. Bedtime. Thinking time is over.

WINTER BREAK BEGINS!!!!!!!!

How Jonah helped me

It was the wee hours of the morning and I forgot to pray. I specifically noted mentally that I would have a heartfelt discussion before I fell asleep tonight.

I no sooner got my barrings and decided to pray. I knew what others alive with me on earth would think was best, butI needed to know what I in lopsidedly thought. I nearly determined a course of action which really made sense and explained why I felt like I did and how to fix it. Then the thought came to me directly, "What is the point of praying if you already have the answer? Do you want a greater perspective? One not tainted by the instant?" So, I stopped mentally plotting and "listened". And with many realizations came one about Jonah(cause that is What my lesson was on last week). I asked why the kids thought Jonah was in the fish 3 days. I was suprised by the answers. The one I was expecting was that they realize it was a shadow of Jesus Christ.

That is what I thought. a type or shadow
Cause that was how I think, butthatis not how others think.

A wise man commented once how teachers always know the answer before a question is asked and they usually take answers until the conclusion they wanted is reached. One Christmas I gave a great lesson on the actual Christmas story. Then, to leave my class the students needed to tell me one thing they learned from having had my lesson.

It amazed me the sorts of things the kids honestly shared. The one that stands out in my mind was a child telling me that in Israel kids were allowed to sleep on the roof. I did not even know that.. Huh? I had to reread the manual to find it. I suppose we all have different insights making the gathering of opinions before deciding is.    so important.

So, a type is what I thought and it was a good thought. It is true that we all have different strengths and when coupled with different strengths we feel better. My job being a prime example. It was not the work that made me so blah, but the pairing.

It is truly no definite that a player is good or bad because the orchestra is so terrible. I have been the worst trombonist in extremely great orchestras and the best magnificent trombonist in mediocre orchestras. Of course I enjoyed being a part of something amazing, but others might prefer to be the big fish in a little pond.

So, my admonishment was to not choose the action but the consequence which might seem counter intuitive to those around me and even myself. My father said, " Don't give up what you need most for what you want right now".

I have no clear idea of what I will want eternally. But, I believe God does and that he is powerful enough to help me if I ask and truly desire it.

Is it even worth it?

For a moment, I cracked the door to allow a moment of speculation because I thought that all the things that bother me wouldn't need to bother me if I wanted a thing to the point that it consumed me I would make life so wonderful for those around me and I would be full of purpose.
The alternative is realizing there is another way, but what would my existance be then? Almost everyone I know has commented on how hard and painful rejecting that purpose is, and they are still not certain of who they are they only know that what is and what is hoped for do not match. Well, it does not seem at all worth it to abandon an achievable purpose. A line from a favorite Stargate Atlantis episode when a replicator (human) was going to sacrifice themselves for the destruction of the entire replicator planet. She is asked if she is ok with dying. She says: "one does want to fufill their purpose. It is the ultimate goal, right?" So, imagining what I naturally avoid letting it get it's foot in the door only makes me want to believe even more than I did previously.

Suspended reality

I do not have the time to write now, but I want to say something about how I can to trust fiction increments at a time and I do not think it was ever intended but it enhanced my appreciation of books, plays, movies, ect.