incorruptible

That seemed to be the word of the day. It started out by my kids explaining that I couldn't stop them from "thinking" about Pokemon, just because they couldn't play or talk about it. This was because I declared Sunday a "pokemon free day". But, they said that bysaying not to say it, I had to tell them what not to say, so I said it. "Ooooooh!, Mom said a bad word!" I did again whe i was trying to explain seeking diligently to them. I thought searching in your room for something was alot like it, you don't just peek. I liked that to our scriptures and tried to show them what "Just going through the motions" was like in reading our scriptures, then I showed them how to seek diligently, but they didn't get it, until I explained it in terms of looking for a Pokemon card they lost. Bingo! I saw their faces light up in understanding! But, then though I wanted to explain how impossible it was to even go a day without even mentioning Pokemon, though my intention was good. I said the"
P word". They were "Incorruptible"

Next we talked about King Louis and how he was taken to another country and though they couldn't kill him, they saught to corrupt his sense of morality by introducing things into his lifestyle. But, it was futile. He explained that he was born to be a king and so withstood their attempts at flattering away his morality with laciviousness He was "incorruptible".

Being Sunday, in my church class the topic was the Millenium. You can likely figure it out if you are not familiar with the term. It is one given to "mil" or "a thousand years" immediately following the second comming (return) of Jesus Christ. After a scripture about the destruction of that great and terrible day, one lady stated that the moral of that scripture reference is to not be corruptible. This forcefully effected me. But, among the profound things that came to mind the teacher said one think that interrupted my thoughts and it required full attention (not because it is of any consequence) because it might yeild some good answers. She asked "So, if we allknow the Earth is going to burn in a fire. Well, how is it going to be started." I really liked most of the answers, but one I remember was of a woman saying that someone probably just gives the scouts some matches!


Anyway, I do remember in another class someone talking about the things that we must have to make sure we suceed or I think "incorruptible" I need to go look up that scripture.

4 Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine dnature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;

6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;

7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor cunfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

9 But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.

10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:


There. that's enough! I just thought a strange thought about this, I considered that we were given this little piece of information to make life a "sure thing". I have always been willing to put in alot of effort especially if the promise was sure. I think understanding thios little piece of information will make a profound difference in how I live my life. it actually makes me double think how I've spent my time thus far.

Something is to be said about being in the right place at the right time. I think how such things mean nothing to those who choose to be and do something else with their time. I want to wrrite a story about The Second coming, a sort of "how-to" an attempt to make it less a horrible day and more of a great day. Today was the Primary Program, and that is where the little children are all to display their brainwashing publically. Comments are always made about how moving or sweet it was to have little timmy tell how he knows that he is a Child of God. And it would be but, I was mostly interested to know whast they were actually teaching my kids. Lena came to class with me once and then asked why they still teach the same things to grown ups? Don't they know it all by then? lol. repetition. repetition. repetition.

perspective?

nothing changed from now and earlier today, but
I had decided that I was being silly and that everything was wonderful here to now I am as angry with Nick as I ever could possibly be. I cannot stand him. So what is my deal? My observation startled me. I thought it was my obsession with being loved that needed to be reevaluated. I couldn't think of a reason to need to be attractive besides finding a mate, and I tried to be ugly and unkepmt, to exteme, but it didn't phase Nick, and I thought it must be love, to decide to love someone regardless of how they appeared, and I did look nice when we met. But a thought that really resonated was that it doesn't matter who can be the ugliest. I had always thought that if my ugliest was prettier than others then it would gain me some sort of preference, but I realized it was a time old thing to try to look pretty because people want to know how much potential you have an it is easier to assess by looking appealing... or as mom taught me, looking clean.

My conclusion is that My relationship with Nick has nothing nor ever had anything to do with attraction. I do not understand why that is important either, but I do know that attraction is typically called love. I was out to prove that notion wrong, but ended up poving to myself how correct it is.

I defined love to be the power to overcome. Attrraction is what causes love to form. For me and Nick, it was my will to have a family, which I do have, now what? Absolutely nothing. And it has been misunderstood that I do not appreciate my family because I do not love Nick, but that is untrue. the only reason I am curently with Nick is to keep my family together. Mentally, I believed that my thoughts were dominant. I could feel a certain way, if it made sense, by doing it. I mentally thought that Nick was a better choice fo me, but I am still very much attracted to Brandall, and though it seems mentally wrong and I can think all of the ways it is worse, I fear that if I didn't believe that I could find a resolution out there, somewhere, I'd throw caution to the wind and put all of my eggs back in that fragile basket, come what may. but, I do believe that I will find a ballance. I will find a relationship that feels right and mentally seems right. I will find my peace. That is what I desire. I was busy desiring to be attracted to Nick and happy with the life that I'm living because it really does make sense.

This or that?

I suppose I ought to be happy to find myself in this dilemma of which thought to expound upon, my head is swarming with them, but in order to be a master of something i must focus down to one idea and make it my purpose for a while. I can actually explore tons of other significant thoughts inside of a larger theme.

1) The boy who wouldn't be a man.
2) The School teacher and her conflicts
3) The annonymous genie

I've narrowed it down alot. I ought to apply guidelines and then see what naturally scores highest. Not being able to perform my music has lessened my need to perform none, and I doubt that cutting out the number of thoughts that divide my attention will only focus my intensity, like a magnifying glass does the sunlight. The power doesn't change, lol here came a thought to save the day! it is niether lost nor destroyed, but is transformed. Now, my thoughts would please Cleon Skousen. Who actually pinched my sister-in-law's butt, how I digress.

While derailed, I watched or rather rewatched "the notebook" again, I was amazed at how different I am it is noticable when I do the same things I did while I supposed that I was fine. There were so many obvious things that I failed to notice. I wonder if that is like being a child. They are happier because they just do not process things they don't want to. I have similarly heard people going on TV and Periodical fasting and how much better they feel not being bombarded by the world.

Ok, I need to go rescue the babies, it seems this is the most common ending to my rants or, escuse me, thoughts, but such is my life.