Though I really should be sleeping my mind willnot rest, so it churned how bit of silly evidence that I must consider now or asleep, but it would be considered.
So, in lieu of sleep, my mind churned up an unreliable memory. Throughout my past, I have had particularly low points where I felt extremely ugly, but I always felt ugly, because I am me. I am somehow always subpar. But, looking back, photographs never seem to reflect the person I saw. I always look pretty. But, how could that be? I know for a fact that I was incredibly hideous to the point of wanting to crawl under a rock in shame of my appearance.
Could this be the case now? I know that I am ugly buy just do not care. Recently, I was even told by someone who had never seen me that they could just tell that I was homely because I was such a sweet spirit of something. It bothered me although honestly, I am past that.
I do have confidence of my self-worth regardless of whether or not my features hold any significance. It is only a thought that maybe looking back I will see more clearly how beautiful I really appear, disgusting not just get over it and enjoy the present for a bit instead of always seeing in hindsight how much better things actually were.
A friend told me once in college that the best thing about me, or the thing that made me the best was my inability to just accept myself as good enough, I held myself to an impossibly high standard and it reflected in who I became.
So, in lieu of sleep, my mind churned up an unreliable memory. Throughout my past, I have had particularly low points where I felt extremely ugly, but I always felt ugly, because I am me. I am somehow always subpar. But, looking back, photographs never seem to reflect the person I saw. I always look pretty. But, how could that be? I know for a fact that I was incredibly hideous to the point of wanting to crawl under a rock in shame of my appearance.
Could this be the case now? I know that I am ugly buy just do not care. Recently, I was even told by someone who had never seen me that they could just tell that I was homely because I was such a sweet spirit of something. It bothered me although honestly, I am past that.
I do have confidence of my self-worth regardless of whether or not my features hold any significance. It is only a thought that maybe looking back I will see more clearly how beautiful I really appear, disgusting not just get over it and enjoy the present for a bit instead of always seeing in hindsight how much better things actually were.
A friend told me once in college that the best thing about me, or the thing that made me the best was my inability to just accept myself as good enough, I held myself to an impossibly high standard and it reflected in who I became.
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