Not me

First, Imagine the saddest a man can be, now extract that feeling and keep it so you may empathize with the manner in which I write this.

Not me.

Personally, I resolved such. I was aware of warnings against being tried  and more than likely failing, but I swept such warning aside because I am an exception. there really are such things, you know. Anyhow, I decided of all things I might ever do, I would never do this thing, that I do not even recall a struggle when the temptation beset me, it did not even feel like a temptation. I did not even feel remorse like I had been expecting if I disappointed myself. but, this is not even the thing that causes me so much sadness. I have no doubt whatsoever that I may be forgiven, if Adam could be forgiven for partaking a fruit which he said he would never eat, I can be forgiven for what seems to be a tiny refraction. My sorrow comes because of others who must be given a choice and who claimed those words.

Never. Not me.

I am sad because I do not even know what can be done to rescue one who does not need saving. I can understand how it can happen, even partially empathize. It is because I do understand that I am so sad. It is like Esau trading a mess of pottage for a birthright which hardly seems defendable at such a time. But, if Enos prayed day and night for his brethren and they all end up destroyed, what could I ever do? The fact that I am asking is an active step towards seeking what I can do.

Not me, maybe you.

I loved a video about a Robert Mason a family friend of Wilford Woodruff who never was able to taste the "fruit of the gospel" although he helped prepare the way. The story of Moses comes to mind to, how he led the children of Israel to the promised land, but was never, himself to enter it. I suppose Enos prayer may be similarly answered, though latter-day happenings. but,I still feel sad for the generations that passed away completely lost though the people may be one day restored.

I have been given a mantle and it saddens me. when Christ came the first time, triumphantly to Jerusalem, his friends asked if it was good that he be lauded that way, it might lead to death if he upset the "powers" that had control. Jesus explained that if the people were not allowed to shout and praise him then the rocks would, because it had been foretold as such. certain things must happen, I suppose the apostasy upsets me, too as does the Savior's departure from his beloved people, but these things NEEDED to happen, and we are not left comfortless, right? We were given the gift of the Holy Ghost as a companion, and are able to do temple work for any who lived during times of apostasy. Still, I merely acknowledge that I wish such things never needed restitution, and such mantle never needed to be filled.

Time to go make lunch...