1990's poetry unearthed

-pre- 1990 -
1)What is beauty to the blind?
When they seek what do they find?
Perhaps it is an inward quest
To seek the good and find the best.

2) She lies within her mind.
He echoes in his heart
The words they couldn't find
And so they drift apart.

Amidst Depression Oct. 4, 1995
I'm sorry. I don't want to throw any of my troubles on you. I try hard
not to. I despise the self I have become and such dribbling would be
repulsive to me.I understand the fault of my condition and there is no
excuse for my behavior.I don't want to sit and watch my life and
potential float by. I'm chained down. I reach up and grab but, I
can't reach. I can't catch it. The farther it moves away the quicker
it leaves...

The only constant of hope is that I love Jesus Christ, and I do it
well. But, even he would be sickened by my despondency. But, time is
moving forward and I'm not. I've dreamt 20 years of my life away with
foolish delusions. I am ambitious BUT (squiggle, squiggle)
Tears fill my eyes And cover my face
My heart runs like a madman looking for
one last Thread of sanity.
But, doing so only unravels my hopes,
My life of Vanity
Shattered.
No beautiful reflection
Only crude truth.
Even my pen wants to drop and signal, "Give it up!"




Sept 25, 1995

I love him perpetually,
But what makes me love him
Scares me to silence.
So intently, he muses himself
with the present
So fully he believes
in the moment
That I wonder when I might slip
into the past.

Anyway I could not loose
for he looks upon me Favorably
And my heart might deceive my intentions
But It will never deny what ought to be.



Each love has a symbol
that casts a looming memory for good or ill.
If ever our love will fade,
So will the earth:Every bird and tree;
Every star and cloud remind me
of the death of that perfecting love.


Hegel's eternal spirals
speak truth to the hungered soul.
There is no purpose in reason
beyond the truth, unrefracted
light uniting all colors
leaving darkness to itself.
Leave me not
in the shadow.
Eclipse not this heart,
lift me ever gently
turn upon turn.
Might I ever find myself
forever higher, and
Never stripped, the screw
with which I ascend.

Sept. 27, 1995
Weary of Blasphemy
The hand of justice turns its palm.
No longer suspended it falls
upon those deserving
execution of irrevocable laws.
Ignorance never saved a soul
A thirsty man won't forget to drink.
Even so, some grow faint
and die for lack of drink.
All the way, waited upon
By willing, serving hands
It would make no sense
To drown him in doctrine.
It will grow too late.


Will Einstein suggest the lack of limits?


December 1994
Is it possible to fall in love with a memory?
I say it is.
But, not so common is this sort of love.
My memory his
I am driven
Wholly smitten...
How could I have been so blind?
And yet I fear again
To protect my conscious mind
I for nothing endure the present pain.

He and I are one
Even after lives apart
And faces none too common.
We have substance in heart
and mind extending to
our souls and all capacity of being.

A seed grew in harmonious duplicity.
tis natures play
How fruit of one branch
can fall so far away.
man, from the ground doth
Snatch.
And forceth them together
"in a poisonous cider", unless
They submit Themselves
Forever,
For their Creator's success.




Ah! to steal his heat!
And then to steal away.
The later is the trick
For, if his heart is so easily removed
Danger is never too far away.




To be a heroine
I could love who I please
And after all They will return it
Unconditionally.


Looking at you,
I see forever
So I look away...
I'm not accustomed
to a one-way mirror.
With you my reflection
is Absorbed.
My appearance fades
Leaving a naked soul.
To share a thought
Brings a coy Smile
Don't, I beg strip me
Of my thoughts, for my emotions
Find shelter there
Your frown I could not bear.


I do love him.
His hands
I love his hands!
His neck
I remember all too well!
His mind
Made to search.
His Music
I love his music
His laugh
A wonderful ride
His style
To adore from afar.
And his arms want to embrace me.
And hold me close to His chest
With one of those hands on my back,
And one on my neck
His eyes
to gase into
God, I do love him.