The sign of the dove was instituted before the creation of the world, a witness for the Holy Ghost, and the devil cannot come in the sign of a dove.
The Holy Ghost cannot be transformed into a dove; but the sign of a dove was given to John to signify the truth of the deed, as the dove is an emblem or token of truth and innocence.
I had truly thought alot about that and am glad to have it clarified.
I bet it took God a while to become merciful towards his children cause he was expecting obedience. Or, as mortal parenthood conditions even the sweetest of spirits to lash out at constant bad behavior.
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I am feeling manipulated, odd. But, I am noticing several ideas that had no origin until now. They are very good ideas, just wondered what created them. Even having them made me feel such depth of character that would require drawing from a much different pool of experience, and so it appeared to others. We have all heard the comment of how someone displayed an attribute that seemed beyond their sphere. The most popular phrase that comes to mind is "from the mouth of babes." I always knew things that were only just being discovered by great scientists and philosophers. I just figured it was common for a Mormon child. My philosophy instructor, in college, inquired how I had such a deep understanding of things. To him it was obvious. I just said, "It is cause I am Mormon." He inquired further, so I explained that with so much opposition I had to know what I believed and why.
But, then, one day in the hall at church, I was 40, and surrounded by LDS Scholars, a woman said, " how do you know so much?" She said that it was like I had a surpassing the norm understanding of everything. So, I thought about it for a long while. I decided that it was my parents who taught me everything in FHE when it seemed that I wasn't paying attention or old enough. I also. Used to listen to my parents discuss things, very deep and intellectual things when they tjought no one was listening. But, this is different. It comes in waves of concentration, I doubt I could endure a long term exposure to such ideas. It is alot like actually swimming in a deep pool.
For a stress and rescue class in SCUBA my teacher had us swim underwater the length of the pool without our air tanks, like it was a race them, we were to return and put them on. My teacher took liberty to remove our regulators so when we swam back, most panicked the and darted to the top for air, but I noticed my regulator was gone, BUT the air was still there, so, I took my breath syraight from the tank. The air actually cut my lips, but I did not come up and my teacher panicked. Just to find that I could take more I guess, being underwater did not cause me to loose my wits.
Now, I need to share one of the influencial thoughts. It is on the nature of love and how through it we can learn to combine the physical and spiritual, but they are not naturally the same thing. I was so proud of this thought and considered it original until this morning I read someone else coming to the same conclusion only they had earned it. It was just given to me.
I realized that I could not claim this thought as my own anyway. I had read it somewhere else and thought nothing of it, like most of my peers in a western civilizations class. The reading assignments were long but so formative, I was so glad that I had read them, and got upset that very few others even read it, it was obvious through their behavior that the ideas had no life in them. I was soooo greatful for them, and my professor and his thick Norwegian accent. You know, I doubt he ever even knew what a profound effect his choice to become a teacher and find and assign the reading to us., but who knows? Maybe he did.
So, I had read a thing someone rambled on about what love was...booooring. heard that before, do not care, but somewhere that "idea seed" took root (or as Berlioz called it a idee fixe).
What is influencing you?
I loved this, by Emily Brönte:
"My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Healthcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being."
Just a random 2 things shoved into my immediate attention as worth considering.
1)love
2)since I can't remember 2 I'll mention sizes, cause why not.
Love, um, well. It should be a thing that is understood, just one word but so many different meanings that it gas almost become hard to recognize at all.
Ideally, no matter what we consider loce it is found in a developing relationship that starts as a fondness for being around to an all out chemical/hormonal war with your senses before settling into a peace or comfort of belonging.
I did not recognize what I feltvas love, so I called it obsession, although the feeling has not changed the object has. And I decided tonight to call it love. It us a strong feeling, the strongest I have ever known when I want them to be happy, and do what is right despite what consequences it may have on me. I recognized it as joy when I ought to have been heart broken thinking a choice had been made that had absolutely nothing yo do with me. I was not mad at all. I was not hurt. I was nothing but entirely happy that a person was happy cause afterall that was what I wanted all along. I had been lead to believe that if you love someone and they love you, that brings joy, but I felt joy in loving someone although they were oblivious to me, and I liked it.
What was different was tonight I thought, "oh, come on, really, on a base untainted level you want to be loved, but no. I don't. I truly don't. It is love, another kind of love that goes beyond well-wishing or fondness or even a selfish desire for reciprocated attention. If you have felt it and wondered what it was, you were like me and dared not call it love because you are not legally married to them and it woukd be wrong to "love" someone orher than your spouse, right? Well, it is love.
One time, on Seasame Street, Elmo is jealous of a baby and asks the mother if she has to love everyone else a little less to love the baby. The mother's name was Gina. Gina explained that love is almost an unlimited capacity for us all. The more we have to love the more our ability grows. This is inversely true, too. I am discovering. Meaning, that the more capacity we recognize within ourselves the more opportunities we seize.
Remove an e and seize becomes size (corny segue, huh?)
Size.
One of tge reasons people love before and after along with "where are they now?" stuff is because we tend to showcase a portion of the story and make is glamorous and end happily, but what about what Paul Harvey said, "the rest of the story..." I also want to toss out "In the Middle" by Jimmy Eats World and Harry Potter author J. K. Rowling.
I don't have time right now, but want to say something I thought about that cute chubby kid.
It has been used to convince that there is no Christ, like there is no Santa, by saying that all the miracles that happen in your life are caused by others. Well, duh!
The whole idea is that we learn to live like Jesus would and serve one another. That was always intended. We tell little children that Santa may not do everything, everywhere, and so he needs helpers. I say this is the same thing with Christ only he doesn't need us to serve one another because he cannot do it himself. The fact that another person caused your miracle does in no way diminish the reality of God. He always intended for us to love and serve on another. It is infact, so important to him. He NEEDS us to be his hands and he sent his son to be an example to us in hiw we should act toward one another. But, if that is not enough, he also gives us the same power that He has called the priesthood so that we could perform all the wonders he expects of us, his children.
One of the best things I was told by a friend who was assigned to the same host family in Switzerland was, "well, it is really sad when you realize it, and it almost seems unfair. But, the way we are exoected to live boils down to us or you (Cathloics or Mormons) because despite how doctrines make you feel, either the priesthood never left the earth and was handed down through Peter like the Bible says, or it needed to be restored, and your church says that Peter actually came back and gave the priesthood again, weird." It is obvious what she believed, and one could not help but respect such knowledge from a 14 yr old. And that is why I believe that it was also intended that there were many faiths to teach truths how and where ever they might grow.
I researched for a lesson I gave one summer in Provo, UT. about how part of our duty as being born members of this church is not to abolish what is good, but to gather it in. Because I quoted from scholars and such, like Einstein, my words were mocked and made fun of, until I quoted Brigham Young, then they listened and I realized that was a power and authority given to prophets. Not, to be greater knowers or even sayers of anything different, but as a mouth piece of God there is more to what they say than the words themselves.
Often, I have thought deeply about the things that songs were about, but it was never the facet that drew my attention in the first place..
But, I am much older. Because I am aware of things that younger people are not, yet. I wonder if the song writers from when I was younger were far beyond what I was in my level of comprehension, cause the songs that are popular now are quite deep, something that someone more my age would think.
More, have I to say, but later...
Some of the things I believe define what makes me crazy, but they only make me crazy if someone else thought them first and decided to call them crazy because they were not commonly reasonable, further if you have uncommon thoughts and put them in a public place you are not called crazy, but a great thinker.
This is all screwy, it frustrates me like IQ tests.
In short, I am learning that usually the most appealing, thus preferred object or means ends up being the most regrettable. Acordingly, people live for tomorrow trying to imagine what they would like in the future.
An extremely common scenario would be a boy who prefers to sleep in or skip classes to party when their vocation is being taught, and in the time they might have practiced and perfected their craft, instead they played video games. Before you get up in arms defending the need of things like sleep and fun, or start to list the advantages of playing video games, I want to point out that I did not say they had free time, but used time that was ear marked for something else. They might feel happier, but in the long run, they will not be able to support a family or even continue their habit, unless they ecpect to be alone, which the very existance of man dictates otherwise.
What started this was my noticing preparations made by home owners for soon expected snow. And I thought, crap I missed out entirely on that home owni g experience, cause I was pregnant and looking for the most preferable option when looking for a place to live. This place required no initial work (like my first house), was ready to move in, and had no yard to maintain. Even a stake president once told me his home owning horror story explaining that rentals or condos were the way to go.
Still, I feel like I am missing out on so many things that would be great for my family and would teach responsibility.
WARNING: This is not a common philosophical debate attempting to assert how one attains their nature, rather it is a journaling accounts of my discovery.
It started while I was musing about the monarch in England and how she might have lacked types of nurture, but every single genius did. I almost think it tampers with or ruins divine nature.
I noticed in college that my skills were transformed into a lesser ability and especially in terms of my compositions. Oddly, I noticed that I naturally followed all of the rules I was being taught. I think someone was great and they were analyzed and mimicked and so we all copied so that one could be taught to create in a like manner, but to learn to create like someone else, I had to give up my own skills.
It was very interesting to me that some peers who attended school with my father took the "rules" we all were learning to create great symphonic works and "taught"them to a computer who could spit out "perfect"compositions, but they were not pleasing. Think on that.
But, I was thinking about a particular instance this morning when my friend, Robert, commented on how "cosmicaly aware" I was. And it has been thought fodder on occassion.
This morning I figured the reason I felt so completely unaware of the world around me was the same thing others like Robert mistook for me being cosmically aware. It is because I was not aware of the same things as almost everyone else around me. And a few people assumed the things I noted were in addition to what they noticed. So, they were in awe of it, but actually, I was a complete moron as to things one ought to notice.
My concluding thought was not to be so upset, it is possible this is a reward or in LDS terminology, a blessing to not be part of the world. Such a thing ought not be unlearned so that I can relearn a lesser way to "see" like everyone else or receive any praise of men, but ultimately know less.
It is ironic that now I think lyrics that others applied originally to the English Royal family it says, "You used to be someone just like me." But, I associate it with the scripture of how it is good to be learned (nurtured), but when men are learned they think they are wise and they forget God and true knowledge.
Recently, I heard it brilliantly explained that we know in more ways than with the five given senses. A quote of a book/movie was given that said that one can only KNOW things with their heart... I could say more, but lack the time. Sorry.
Was my thought right that started me on this path of questionable conclusions. I guess that is how extropalting and deducing work, some thoughts are going to be wrong or else everything really is predetermined.
My mental assertion was that for a thing to exist it has an opposite. Sure we appreciate rest because we were busy, sickness, health, ya ya, ok but my favorites are truth and love, so should I be thankful for lies and rudeness? There is a scarier thought that I am not saying, yeah, I thought that, too. :)
I was quite impressed by a little thing my daughter's kindergarten teacher said to explain why she was so behind schedule getting the class to the computer lab. She explained that they were busy doing a thing and she didn't think she should put a premature end to what they were doing when it was almost done.
I have this mindset alot of the time and it is exactly why I do not even start lengthy projects. I do not want to end before I am done simply because my time was up.
On the flip side I think this might account for the actual effect that has been named Mormon Standard Time. Often, I have battled with myself regarding my nature to be there regardless and that whole story someone told me about a man who chose to be clean and be late. They say, "better late than never." But, I wonder at that wisdom sometimes. People set deadlines and schedules intentionally and if you miss the roll call it might mess everything up.
But, that was why I loved what this teacher said. It was like saying, it is better to do something correct than half-baked to fit a silly schedule. I hate it when for instance you start to get fixed up, but do not have time to do it right. You end up looking like you tried and failed, when you skill was exceptional, it was time that you lacked.
Oh, my dad would say that you know the schedule, time doesn't change, so do not attempt a thing if you cannit do it well.
Now, in the situation with children it is nearly impossible to budget time properly. So I applaud her decision in this sotuation. I hope it teaches the kids to finish what you start.
This doctrine of being self sufficient seems aristocratic to me.
It seems that a leader has to be able to do everything by themselves. Man, I wish I haf come back and written what I was thinking.
It is funny to notice how fashion seemsvto seemlessly flow from one extreme to the other without unattural jumps. It is a bit like evolution, or a pregnant belly, it changes gradually almost unpercievable hour by hour.
I was in my mid thirties before I felt like styles were matching what I liked. I actually never changed much what I liked, but I noticed I became more acceptable.
But, just as culture became a closer match mow it is moving away again. I think that is why we have "looks" for people of an age. It is not a matter of physique, but matter of being stuck forever in a style. I will now dress like my grandmother simply because I am old. I still like what I like.
I remember Brandall saying that he preferred classic looks, and so if he found an article of clothing he liked, then he got several of them and appeared to wear the same clothes everyday. I like that.
I sort of do that same thing on a scale. I like an image anf use the same rules to dress everyday. I noticed that for a while everything and everyone seemed to be using the same laws. But we changed it. :)
RAt first, I thought I was just realizing I was an idiot, no big deal, sure it hurts but knowing I am not like everyone else is nothing new.
But, it has fallen on me and crushed me wholly. I an grasping for meaning, purpose, et cetera. I am still me and stuff, I am just sick of being what everyone else needs and alone. It is compond because I have been studying the life of Ludwig Van Beethoven and I did not want to believe it, but he was,miserable, and I think, at least I have the Gospel. Do I? It has kept me alive, when I might have been happier dying before my life degenerated so much. I am debating going to try to find a piano to play cause at least I enjoy that.
I am utterly broken. And I am trying to consider why. And am hopeful. Isn't that a pattern? We need to hit rock bottom before sonething amazing occurs...I am imaginging a catastrophy and what is valuable enough to salvage? So far, I can only think of things I have been told to find valuable, not much I actually do.
Better get back to work. Gotta get Mary from school, soon.
Just a bit more...I was reading about John Chilton for FHE, which what I learned there was depressing, but I think they sacrificed and suffered so life would be better for us. But, he had been made a freeman, as a quaker before becoming a separatist.
What really upsets me is a thing that requires my attention, now though cause it has gone too far. Mary was begging to do an activity for FHE. I used to be thankful that Nick let's me do it, but he makes it miserable, and Mary Anne was so excited to do her part, so I let her choose an activity but Nick refused to take any part, typical, I do nit mind, but she does. She said, "but playing board games with your family is fun."but he still refused and said, "It can be." Urrgh! I wanted to explode and say, "This family could have a lot of fun if we had a real father in it, too." but, I only smiled thought it and played the game. There's a whole lot more here, but I do not intend to tattle.
It started with a song, I was thinking about an idea proprigated in popular culture that loves and learns through stories. The fact that the hero is the first person, the one telling the story.
Pen and teller talked a bit about how magic is possible because man actually believes he can think about more than one thing, when actually, he cannot.
So, if we are seeing things from our point of view then we are the hero.
It always bothers me in terms of news stories and deaths. For example, the movie "The Secret of Nihm". It is a tale told by a mouse, making one sick mouse and a rat or two soooo significant, meanwhile a woman is raped and killed somewhere in an alley and because she is not headlining a movie we do not really concern ourselves.
Another song that I love by Nickleback When We Stand Together suddenly draws attention to soldiers being killed as you complain about your subpar breakfast...and they sing, about how we just turn off the tv and let it happen "over there" and return to what actually matters to us.
I do not know why but the song, "I Heard it Through the Grapevine" felt so self-centered. "..of your plan to make me blue." Hardly, I imagine that was not the motivation of his once was lover. I wonder what we would think if we heard her song. I imagine her singing, "You don't own me." But, nevertheless it was not intended to cause a pain, just cause it did.
(Brief pause for Wuthering Heights, and a scene in the Ralph Finnes/Juliet Binoche version, where Heathcliff marks a calendar all of the days Cathy spends with him vs. with the Lintons. He says, "It is to show that I DO take notice." She is hurting him, but makes it clear that was never her intent. If he wanted to spend time with her he ought to make such a prospect desirable.)
Ok, on to Job. He is the dude in the Bible whom God granted Satan the power to tempt and ensnare because God was certain allowing such would not change Job's alliegence. And I was thinking how we all "coin the phrase" that "when it rains it pours", meaning that when one thing goes wrong they all do. That always reminds me of Job. He lost his house, bad. He lost his sons, bad. He lost his health, worse. And his wife died and his closest friends said he just ought to curse God and die, worst. And to me, it has always troubled me that his wife and children are easily replaced to make the ending happy, as if her life was a mere accessory to his.
I wonder what sort of story would be told if Job's wife was the central character. I get this idea not entirely originally either. One of my all-time favorite books was Jane Eyre and so, I had to know the story from the view point of Bertha Mason. That is what makes up the comoanion novel of Wide Sargasso Sea. I only actually read the sunopsis and watched a movie, cause none of it is true, ha ha ha as if Jane Eyre is.
My kids are always asking me if this or that Bible stories are true, too. The answer I give is,very important. And the answer I always give is "We believe the Bible to be the word of God, as far as it is translated correctly." That actually bothers me, too, but I will save that for another time. I go on to say that regardless if it is factual, the ideas a pure and help us be better people and that matters, and then tell a story I feel confident telling them is 100% true.
