Saturday, October 1, 2011

I get it!

I was rejected by man, not by God. I could say so much, but what was central to my life was that I had contrary commandments to keep. I needed to love my husband, but I knew that I had a limited time and that I simply must go have children, My intention was to love Brandall forever and raise children together, but He had his agency and that needed to be respected. So, I went out here and was willing to give up my life for the possibility of raising some children which was necessary and foremost in everything I taught. I will not pretend to be so divinly guided, I was desperate for something that I would do things that I considered wrong to be able to do this.

But, I have now decided that I am exactly where I ought to be, and it is both lack of faith and selfishness in my desires to be sealed to someone forever. Forever is very long I'll find time to chase my own dreams when my duty to those kids is less important. I will live forever, so, it is not wrong to pray for the desire to be with someone forever. It is putting my desire above my children in importance that is troublesome.

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