Enough is enough!

ok, I'm ticked off and I need to go to sleep to refresh my mind.
but I had a new idea. I thought as I read another blog that I actually could write about the same thoughts I think I have actually, it made me eel better because they struggle too but even amidst apparent success they failed, so i am doing ok, though at times i feel like I'm failing. life is way too long to Judge anyone based on anything but potential.

wanting to be beautiful is most important to me and I thought it was just to attract a husband but that's not it. I still do not know what it is. i think something along thew lines of ease of life. i do not want to have to constantly work on it or try to deceive, i just want to be what I think is beautiful. I am my own hardest critic, I know. I realize that others think I'm pretty enough. so what? pretty enough for what? Good question?

Nick just messaged me. I ought to go have a conversation with a real person who genuinely loves me. No, not like that, stupid. He greatly is concerned for me and wants what is best for me. The best sort of acquaintance!

Enough second guessing. time to live.