I decided this morning that I was going to, ever so slowly, little by little, improve myself, and that is what the sacrament is for. So, I started such an easy tiny change of reading one bit of scripture everyday. Wait, I pretty much do that, but not perfectly.
I was assured in my choice when someone caused me to worry as I almost always do, if it is better for me to seek my own interest or that of my children... shouldn't it be the same thing? The conclusion was plain and simple, " You're worrying about the wrong thing. " they are the same thing if I am seeking to care for and love my family the best I can, it will be the best for me, and anything else is stumbling block, or temptation to lure me away from what is important. I worry about who will be sealed to whom because my family is so scattered, but a person speaking said to the point that if we focused on living so that we would be worthy to live with our father in Heaven, we will find the living arrangements so marvelous, worrying about anything else would seemlike a waste of time.
OK, so what does this have to do with Ezekiel? Actually, I am not sure yet. I have spent nearly a year reading it, and I have formed some very incredible theories, but those theories sort of prod me on to some sort of discovery dedication to truly understanding the mind of God through my personal commitment to study one chapter a week from that book until I die. It seems like an easy promise, but one I feel sort of frightened to make, so I share what reaffirmed my commitment. A speaker said this, (paraphased)" I play basketball, and a coach told me that he could set up the perfect play but that I need to take the shot." That is almost exactly what I think, though I have never said to anyone. I always think of the slam dunk competitions and an alley-oop. Anyhow, everything has been done, and Here I am and I honestly ought not whimp out of pursuing such great knowledge. Strangely, I think of Odin and how knowledge was so worth it he not only sacrificed a bit, and took the shot, but he even gave his eye. Might I similarly be willing to give up simple comforts or the risk of being wrong to find the truth?
I WILL.
So, I am going to begin this week studying one chapter of Ezekiel until I know it all well enough to take the next step in uncovering truth, though, I honestly do not know what that step will be yet.
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