what was wasted

;,, I have been so upset, like I get when a long winded email is lost, but worse. I know that I still exists and can generate whatever I thought was lost, oh! That reminds me of one thought I typed out and lost, it was in a talk someone mentioned the things we had learned in full in the pre existence. In the words such things like baptism by immersion. My instant thought was that no wonder we instantly recognize such truths when we hear them. In particular was a video about Wilford Woodruff seeking to be baptized the proper way, so he asked a preacher who at least practiced immersion, but he just FELT or was convinced that other parts of the ordinance were lacking. I also thought of my brother's pat. Blessing where he was reminded about how quite often he (my brother) had to have teachings reirterated or explained at the feet of God himself. Anyway, sure I may have forgotten  things that I once knew and put into particular words, but the same ideas are part of who I am and become.

I was thinking about how glad I would be to have these projects over because I spend all of my time working on this stuff, but even my sleep is suffering. I wondered if I would really even accomplish more when I finish making these dresses for instance. But, I had almost stopped completely using social media after so many convincing testimonials about how doing so would free up your time so much. I have only filled it with other things.

Then, I candidly reminded myself how my time was still being depleted, but it was being used to serve others. Serve? Ah yes! I remembered a scene from a old film "Labor of Love" where a returning missionary compares the things a flight attendant says to a missionary teaching of things that are actually quite important. Well, to me the doorknob is about how we cannot help others if we are dead, so take care of your oxygen mask first. And then all things remind me of Tal Bachman, I am just going to stop acknowledging it. There is a very neat video I saw of him playing a Jazz riff with his dad on guitar singing something about looking out for number one. Kevin Montgomery wrote a song along those lines too about seeing global troubles and trying to put a bandaid on it with a five dollar bill (regarding poverty), but, better examples have mentioned service as essential to getting out of a rut of self pity or such. To help yourself you look outward and help others and place their concerns in your mind....

Then another pressing matter comes to mind. Sunday observance, or Sabbath. The idea being that we need a day of rest. A few points of significance were mentioned, but most significant to me was that our observance is a measure of our love, faith, committance to our Father in Heaven and his plan.

I always like to demonstrate how Sunday is a day we get to put off all of the things we cannot seem to get to, but desire to do instead of a day when nothing is allowed too often my kids say, "...but we can't do that on Sunday..." I thought well, hah! I could still do these things on Sunday. That is the trouble, I get no break or catch up time. Then, I thought of the things I will actually do when I finish all of my projects. It hit me like a ton of bricks falling on me. I can assign value to my time by asking why am I doing this. Even service projects seem to dull. Like, making dresses for Mary isnice and she likes and needs them, but she is just going to outgrow them, but she will grow up knowing her mom loves her and that feeling will generate more, but it is not the clothes that I am making, but feelings. So, it's not wasted.

But, when I thought about what was secondary, my family history, cause it is really a time user. It is an addiction or such (how I look.at it). But. Then, I thought, but my Pat. blessing reminds me to keep eternal perspective. The consequences of my work is more lasting and does not pertain to this world as much as it does eternity. That's it. Other things can wait, maybe this can too, but it has....oh,oh, another quote came to mind. It was by Brigham Young, "Be patient in waiting... to understand."