Back story: My dreams are always more intense when I fall back asleep after Mary wakes me up, like she did last night. I almost think those dreams are the ones that have a bit of my awareness in them. Mary Anne woke me up several times just as I fell asleep. Whining about wanting to see another "Toy Mom" episode on Youtube. I think Youtube is addictive. They pedal ideas that are so sugary even Joseph wakes up wanting to watch it. So far I do not think it has done any harm, neither is currently watching.
I had such a weird dream.
I was in a class and as always an incredible thought came much after the question that cause it had passed, but then the teacher asked, is there anything else to add, and I thought "who cares how I appear? This is my opportunity to share this nagging thought!" I raised my hand and the teacher ignored it. I was upset, but then I was so busy feeling upset that I forgot my original thought anyway. I thought, hmmm. If I remember it I will be sure to blurt it out instantly but I never thought of it, even now, I cannot remember it. I realized once again that any brilliance I ever have is not of myself and the second I do anything to drive it away, I am left with just myself which is very little, the thought that lingers this morning is, "That thought was a gift for you. Stop sharing everything. Everyone is on different levels and will be taught the thing that are right for them."
So, my internal teacher reflex was rebuked. The End.
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