What purpose is truly yours?

I give myself too many purposes, I need to focus them down into something more accomplishable.

I know that I existed before, but never like this. I know that I had time to prepare and that preparation was intended to help, and I know that I will exist forever the quality of manner ought to be included in my purpose. Mormonism teaches happiness is found in family life, so I believe any advantage starts there. I was born very strategically.

It was encouraged to record our early morning ramblings, as they may have great worth. It is strange how my place of sleep has become a mini temple to me. And I am drawn to this spot, even when sleep is far away and not at all likely.

This morning as I was laying here contemplating, not at all sleepy, and decide many things, and the best thing to actually do was pray. And, my mind/lips started pouring out the things trapped in my heart left unsaid or unwritten for too long. I am not going to say them here, but instead I will share the peace I took away, that will make me look crazy, like Anna in Frozen when the store keeper says ,"The only one crazy enough to be out in this weather is you."

My focus right now ought to be my children. Heavenly Father has already shown me that he can work incredible miracles when I try to do what I should.

Joseph is an incredible child expected to do incredible things, and I was chosen to give his little body and teach him the things he needs. There is a marvelous thing going forth right now and my link must be strong, and it was never itended that I be so unhappy, but if I do my part, the world will be so blessed, and in turn I can expect the sort of peace I desire. Just look to David and see what can happen if I miss my focus and become selfish instead of trying to remember my part in the bringing to pass the immortality and eternal life of man!

My purpose is to find happiness in the blessings I have, namely, my children.

I suspect my name will be known as "the mother". I want to be the wife, but must be patient. I do think they ought to be one and the same, and everyone plays a different part. I need to focus on mine. I can feel as much love as is possible, and that is my real purpose. It should not be abandoned or substituted, that path was demonstrated by trading a birthright for a mess of pottage. Or as my dad taught me, trading what we need for what we want right now.