morning thought

It is recorded in Genesis that Joseph would be separated from his brethren. And, it is so, when the story if his finding favor in Egypt, but, this morning I wonder if this is  metaphor, a type and shadow, or parable of sorts, of the book of Mormon peoples.

morning thought

Nephi built a ship although he didn't know how and had no tools. I am going to become a great runner, though I have no balance and am out if shape. But, if I ever do it, it will be because the Lord offered help. Nephi did built a ship that not only floated, but sailed all the way to America!

morning thought

As I was walking, and thinking about my true goals, and I looked at the person walking and thought,  different people have different body types, it us not a sample of "do this and look like this" I then thought of Gene Simmons, perpetually doing exercise, but never looking any fitter. And I thought, hmm, I will never look like that, my machinery will not work that way. Any if I did look that way, I would be about 50lbs heavier. That made me think about my grandmother telling me that when she was younger she thought being super thin and small was best, but now, it looks sickly, and unattractive. So, I thought how it is possible that Heavenly Father looks at our bodies and thinks how terrible that looks and yet, we still are so limited in our focus that we stumbled and praise that one look. Recently, I saw a video that addressed a group who all seemed near death they were so frail and that was what was sought after among that group. It seems satanic to me like screwtape plotting to destroy bodies by not using them properly or something, and really if we all could relax in our focus we might realize the beauty of life over being small. I have heard others refer to a large person as "healthy" and when I was in the hospital my doctors prescribed a boost (extra calories) with every meal, and often said that weight gain is directly associated with proper body function...it us a sign that a person is healthy if their weight increases.

So, it is not impossible for us to see gaining weight as a good thing,  but dialectical, I am cautioned not to go to the other extreme. Some body types simply are smaller. It is however we are all born but, I for one have previously failed to see the beauty in every type because I associate sloth and overindulgence as being responsible for weight gain, and this may be true, likewise Ozempic (drug use) may be responsible for being thin.

The world would be a happier place If mankind could stop judging according to appearance...that sorta goes with my premise that if women still wore dresses or made all the clothes their family wore, the world would be more content. There have been contributions made by pant wearing women that made the world a better place. That was an idea of the Teenaged Melissa....

morning thought

My favorite thing to do each morning is what I call " Chen circles " to the point that I thought and pondered trying to figure out why I liked them so much. I decided it was because my Tai Chi guide said they allow freedom of movement and it is in the nature of anyone who has an ounce of Scottish ancestry to love Freedom. Then, yesterday, I felt like listening to a podcast so I listened to an episode of "The Ancient Tradition" and the particular episode just so happened to be titled something and the Shen Circle. Which  was odd, because I feel like there is something just waiting to be known to me about the significance of "the free Masons". And a shen circle is an Egyptian thing used to build temples. At one point, I stopped all Tai Chi cause I saw symbols and wondered if I was not just exercising but performing rites, as movement is perhaps another way to hand down information from generation to generation, particularly Tai Chi does the same exercises as other forms of exercise, but you do not even need to realize you are doing them, to benefit (think of looking on the snake for Moses' people) for instance, if I say, Do 20 squats and 30 of balancing on one leg each day to improve balance, you would believe me, cause it sounds right and un do able, whereas, in Tai Chi (for balance) you do repetitive movements each day where your focus is elsewhere but, you basically are shifting weight and doing squats, and standing on one foot, but it is said, " doing Tai Chi everyday for weeks will miraculously improve your gait"... see?

Anyhow, I have noticed how my mind feels lighter and more able to focus. I feel like I dropped a few hundred IQ points, but they are my thoughts! More specifically,  this is my thought, this morning.

morning thought

I feel like everyone patronizes me, and they think they are being kind. It feels like pity. Maybe I do have severe brain damage and others really are only tolerating the village idiot. 

I wish I hadn't noticed that.

morning thought!

I started thinking, maybe I simply did not fast long enough, and could still get those sought after benefits. Instantly, I thought about how I truly believe that I was created and placed in this world to enjoy and use food, and I finally started to feel better and got sleep. I do not think it was worth it to fast, but, my mental abilities simply do not know. This was a Moses on Sinai moment where I was not going to be tempted because I could contrast the fruit of following one way as far superior to the other, so instantly, feeling like a bit was lost and regarding my fast to trip me up...well, that wasn'tgoing to work anymore. Now, my very thoughts were used and I began playing a game in my mind, an actual fun game, but I had deleted all my mobile games recognizing them as stumbling blocks, so despite my desire to play, I freaked out realizing my own thoughts were thwarting my desires to repent and improve. I long have had a goal to pray before anything else, but always think to do it right after I start my daily "fitness" routine, but because of this attempt to cause me to stumble  I was able to broaden my view and realize what was going on and instead say a prayer.

 I saw a video where a woman started each day with a sincere prayer and it was instantly impressed upon my mind what a great instrument she must be in God's hands, so that is what I prayed for this morning. I recognized that the struggle I had been enduring for years between my heart and mind had been nothing less that the struggle between the good and the profane. I realized and was able to turn back in the right direction, and it may have been a stumble and a set back, but knowing I am eternal it really matters where I am headed, not how far I am.

morning thought

Just a question repeats in my thoughts this morning: why did Nephi like Isaiah so much?

I won't give the obvious answer to me cause there are so many better thoughts that will result.

morning thought

It does more harm than good to reason out matters of faith.

Even reasoning out principles only makes us accept that they are reasonable.

My pet peeve is people in my life who have spoke about great miracles as if they could be found out or understood. I see in my life where I diverged to seeking out knowledge and thought I was shedding light on things but, as I look back on my life I wasn't niave or blindly following things, I just knew things for certainly.  I miss that girl. "It is good to be learned... " But, if that learning is lopsided, it is detrimental. 

morning thought

There was a fireside, which is a gathering tp be edified and this particular time the fireside was held in the Fairfield II ward building in Layton, UT. The focus was on LGBTQ+ and I wondered why on earth I attended, not knowing that my oldest daughter had decided that she was a lesbian. But, still not knowing that I had any reason to be there I was very impressed with the speakers, who were a couple, who had once both been homosexual, but were now sealed to eachother happily.

It taught me many things, but the main thing I recall was what the spirit taught to me. The two had been Latter-day Saints and friends which made the girl all the more sort of ostracized by her family, but that wasn't what I was being told to focus on, but instead it was the kindness and inclusion of her mother. Then, she said the most profound thing, maybe only to me. She said, " Despite her prayers and kindness, I was happy, and had no notion of ever rethinking any of the propaganda of her family. She was a lesbian and they needed to learn to deal with that and be Christlike, and realize what they were saying, cause if it is a plan of happiness, she had already found it....but, she had made one mistake, she kept her book of Mormon and kept reading it, and that was the kink in her armor.

Now, as I think about how important it was to Lehi and Nephi, or really God himself to have a rod of iron to cling to, regardless what happened to confuse you it could offer guidance and strength. I think that is what happened to that woman. If you know the Book of Mormon is true, then 9t follows that everything the church teaches is true, regardless how others argued on intricate points of doctrine, or even sweeping philosophies of belief. The ultimate safety comes from holding on to the rod, and just look at what it did for that couple.

So, ultimately I ended up learning about the power of the Book of Mormon, though there truly was so much else to learn. But, that was my thought this morning as I contemplated why it was so important for the Nephites to have some written record, although, froma very young age I was told that it was so that his entire nation would not dwindle I unbelief. But, really, could they even read in the first place? Now, my thoughts go to Iceland, and what role books and literacy play in Society.

morning thought

It is easy to fast and easy to run, unless you realize what you are doing.

morning thought

Realizing how much like Laman and Lemuel I am because I was siding with them and thinking how we only know the story from the way it was recorded by Nephi. Then, I started to laugh at myself for believing 100% it was true. But, if I really truly believed it, than I would believe that I could talk to God face to face. And if I ever questioned anything I need only ask Him. Pretty simple.  

    Laman and Lamuel were asked why they did not just pray to know such things, and they said, "God makes no such thing known unto us." And isn't that the sort of excuse I give all the time.

     Joe's vand is on a trip to Disney for the spring, but he did not go. When someone asked why. I Disclosed, as usual, he cited money. But, I started reasoning out how if that was his true reason, it could have been overcome in many ways. Then she responded with something truly important:

If money is the problem, there really isn't a problem at all.

I love that and want that to be the rake away.

daily pondering

I could tell I made someone mad today, and I never ever want to do that knowingly, though it was one of those inevitable things, like when you hate the way someone breathes, they have to do it and likely will again, though chances are they do not want to bother you.

I was suddenly thinking of several people and times that I didn't understand what was going on, but it could be that I annoyed people. But, then I thought, now, that is the sort of negative self talk I am suppose to notice and avoid/shun.

Ya know, God does not annoy anyone, oh wait, Laman and Lemuel were reprimanded saying that the things that offended them were not done to offend, but that truth offends the wicked, but if you have a huge fat butt and someone complains that your fat butt is taking up two seats, that is truth, but not nice. And honestly, when others do things in a way that seems backwards, we need not point it out.  Everyone learns at their own sped and are at different points. God is do far ahead if every living being, dealing with us must be constantly frustrating,  but he only chastises us when we need it. I ought to look daily for ways that I can place others before myself, so I can be worthy of the same consideration from God.

morning thought

I want all of my children to include me in their lives, So I am going to try to include Heavenly Father in my life, right now it is just by using my exercise obsession as a tool, combined with my hourly reminders to pray. My prays will start off as merely smiling and saying hi, which is just an acknowledgement, but I hope to build a strong relationship, much as I ought to have had all along with my covenants, but, although I am old, I wish to repent and find this new path home.

morning thought

I am full of gratitude. My lovelanguage is progression, so that is what I gave up to show that I love God more than myself but, my experience is that I make much much more progress when I stop trying to progress. For instance, I gave up my exercise time today to work on projects for other, and realized how much I usually serve for the purpose of appearing thoughtful or something akin to the gross sin of the zoramites with their ramiupten. This morning, I worked longer and harder with no thought of how it would appear. I might get fat, but I still have perfect faith that it will be ok.... " my shepherd will supply my need."

morning thought

One thing jumped out at me that needs repeating is this:

And that great pit, which hath been digged for them by that great and abominable church, which was founded by the devil and his children, that he might lead away the souls of men down to hell—yea, that great pit which hath been digged for the destruction of men shall be filled by those who digged it, 

To me, and I had never evennoticed this previously, so maybe it is an insight that can only occurred when you are ready for it, the creation of Hell is a construct of the church and not of God. Not a he'll but, a place of terror, eternal terror. And that those who will inhabit it are those who created such a notion in the first place.