little story, how my life changed

notice: pretty big deal.

Ok, It was a typical, uneventful Friday night, and I decided to crochet my time away, while I watched Tal Bachman and his dad, they entertain me, though admittedly, my lag is so bad, I pretty much see a live stream (if at all) not at all the way it was intended, the chat is way ahead (like a few songs) and the music is barely discernable, from all the choppiness. And it truly seemed like this time there were so many issues on their end that it was simply not going to happen. I logged on anyhow and was kicked off and when I returned the live session had ended. Oh well, I had just as much watched it later anyway, but, what was I going to do, now? I got up and worked here and there but decided that despite my failure I ought to try again, after all, it was not even time yet, though the vide was no longer listed as a scheduled live stream, but a previously recorded stream, no big deal. I thought maybe I ought to just check out their YT channel and see what was up, maybe it was just not going to air tonight, ya know, taking a break because of their other Beetles related Musical Mystery thing-a-ma-joby. But, when I clicked on that hyperlink, I saw listed a video that was currently streaming and already had 20 viewers. So, I clicked it and Tah Dah,a few hiccups, but everything was working perfectly! So, glad I used my time that way, too cause my life would never be the same as a result. Wait, huh? How? you're in luck. I feel like telling that story:

Tal and Randy, told stories amid all the ear candy, and I was able to chat, perfectly. Hey I was having fun, like I did when I was younger! Then, the two started talking about Walter Trout. I was like, "Who?" so, I asked in the chat and was referred to YT where I found a very nice video all about him, and without delving into what happened to him, be it known that he ended up in a hospital bed, basically unable to eat or talk, and likely never able to play music again. I was soooooo aligned. been there had to do all the therapy, etc. and despite a terrible prognosis, everything returned except my musical skill. So, I was listening very closely to him tell how he managed to regain is musical skills. He mentioned the horror and terrible hardship at trying to do the exact thing he was known for. I was reminded of my fascination with Beethoven again, and so I listened for the clue as to what drove these men to accomplish. I had just decided the previous day that we are given difficulty not as a punishment, but as an opportunity to earn a greater skill. Actually earn it. I loved music, but was that because it had always been so effortless and just came to me. I realized that I was better than most, by far, but that it was not my own doing.I had not earned this skill, it was just inborn, sorta.

Ok, this Walter Trout dude spoke of a conversation he had with Santana, I believe it was, the summation of it was that each person had a unique talent or skill to give the world and it ought not be wasted, nor given up on  I had said the exact same thing when choosing between Engineering and Music in college .I knew that each person was like cog in a machine and if we each did our part no one would need to do a thing they did not relish.( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GytW_rgr0RM ) I was not intended for many of the beautiful sciences, though I surely had an aptitude, I was going to be a composing wife and mother. That is pretty odd of a goal for a young woman in her 20s with no prospects even of marriage, and those I did date I would never mary, and I knew it. Still, I spent long hours writing music and honing those skills, and even ended up in Music City (Nashville), married to a musician. But, out of the blue, everything changed. I questioned everything. Had I been wrong?

Just this week, I had watched the story of Vincenzo di Francesca, and how a man despite hardship and seemingly unsurmountable odds, overcame his troubles and, unbeknownst to practically the whole wide world succeeded in his life on earth.

So, Walter spoke of his accomplishments, and while he did, it was as if I was being asked to seriously consider what it was I could accomplish, and what was I willing to do. Did I truly want to be a musician? Beethoven thought of himself as greater to royalty, 

"What you are, you are by accident of birth; what I am, I am by myself. There are and will be a thousand princes; there is only one Beethoven."

because he had actually earned his status, but most importantly, he knew his own worth. what is my worth? It is that contemplation that changed my life.

Who is Walter Trout? a blues guitarist, who recognized his purpose, and despite loosing his skill, he fought hard to achieve it again. He mention that it was actually physically painful to even touch the guitar because his callouses were gone, and he had to take lessons. It will surely not be easy for my to again contribute. But, I have a gift and an intended purpose, and I am not accomplishing it, but getting distracted by the ease of my life. Distraction is one of the big D's that my kids often spot as a tool to cause failure in life.

So, I will plot out and plan what I need to do to accomplish and not give up simply because things are hard. being hard does NOT denote failure, it merely increases the value of accomplishing!