morning thought

It is easy to fast and easy to run, unless you realize what you are doing.

morning thought

Realizing how much like Laman and Lemuel I am because I was siding with them and thinking how we only know the story from the way it was recorded by Nephi. Then, I started to laugh at myself for believing 100% it was true. But, if I really truly believed it, than I would believe that I could talk to God face to face. And if I ever questioned anything I need only ask Him. Pretty simple.  

    Laman and Lamuel were asked why they did not just pray to know such things, and they said, "God makes no such thing known unto us." And isn't that the sort of excuse I give all the time.

     Joe's vand is on a trip to Disney for the spring, but he did not go. When someone asked why. I Disclosed, as usual, he cited money. But, I started reasoning out how if that was his true reason, it could have been overcome in many ways. Then she responded with something truly important:

If money is the problem, there really isn't a problem at all.

I love that and want that to be the rake away.

daily pondering

I could tell I made someone mad today, and I never ever want to do that knowingly, though it was one of those inevitable things, like when you hate the way someone breathes, they have to do it and likely will again, though chances are they do not want to bother you.

I was suddenly thinking of several people and times that I didn't understand what was going on, but it could be that I annoyed people. But, then I thought, now, that is the sort of negative self talk I am suppose to notice and avoid/shun.

Ya know, God does not annoy anyone, oh wait, Laman and Lemuel were reprimanded saying that the things that offended them were not done to offend, but that truth offends the wicked, but if you have a huge fat butt and someone complains that your fat butt is taking up two seats, that is truth, but not nice. And honestly, when others do things in a way that seems backwards, we need not point it out.  Everyone learns at their own sped and are at different points. God is do far ahead if every living being, dealing with us must be constantly frustrating,  but he only chastises us when we need it. I ought to look daily for ways that I can place others before myself, so I can be worthy of the same consideration from God.

morning thought

I want all of my children to include me in their lives, So I am going to try to include Heavenly Father in my life, right now it is just by using my exercise obsession as a tool, combined with my hourly reminders to pray. My prays will start off as merely smiling and saying hi, which is just an acknowledgement, but I hope to build a strong relationship, much as I ought to have had all along with my covenants, but, although I am old, I wish to repent and find this new path home.

morning thought

I am full of gratitude. My lovelanguage is progression, so that is what I gave up to show that I love God more than myself but, my experience is that I make much much more progress when I stop trying to progress. For instance, I gave up my exercise time today to work on projects for other, and realized how much I usually serve for the purpose of appearing thoughtful or something akin to the gross sin of the zoramites with their ramiupten. This morning, I worked longer and harder with no thought of how it would appear. I might get fat, but I still have perfect faith that it will be ok.... " my shepherd will supply my need."

morning thought

One thing jumped out at me that needs repeating is this:

And that great pit, which hath been digged for them by that great and abominable church, which was founded by the devil and his children, that he might lead away the souls of men down to hell—yea, that great pit which hath been digged for the destruction of men shall be filled by those who digged it, 

To me, and I had never evennoticed this previously, so maybe it is an insight that can only occurred when you are ready for it, the creation of Hell is a construct of the church and not of God. Not a he'll but, a place of terror, eternal terror. And that those who will inhabit it are those who created such a notion in the first place.

morning thought

I need to start each day with prayer. I jump up and start my tasks, but always think. Before I even turned a light on I really ought to have said a prayer. Then on my daily list, I see morning prayer of gratitude, should have been done before anything else. I was answering a Journaling prompt that asked what I was proud of, and my first thought was I am proud of my ability not to need all the things that Facebook or people in general try to tempt me with. This morning, it was a free app created by all of the best thinkers in the world... my first thought was, " might work, but definitely prayer would and that sounds like a 'great and spacious building'. " I was so pleased that another stumbling block had been averted. Makes me think of David and Goliath actually. I am a tiny bit like David in that I can turn down temptations flatly because I know that God of Jacob is mightier and knows exactly what I need and can help me far better than any ivy league app can. After thinking about that I feel even more strongly that I really should have prayed first thing. Sure, He can help, but I need to ask if He will.... perfect segue, Book of Mormon time.... if you ask, you will receive!

morning thought

Baking is a great metaphor, it proves that everything teaches of God, it is only a desire that we need to provide. He can work with that! But, back to baking..as a homemaker, baking is a great thing to do. I fact, one Christmas we snuck into my ex mother in law's home and decorated her house and set up her tree. My then husband thoughtfully remembered that we ought to play one of her beloved Christmas tunes on repeat as part of the surprise, and then it occurred to me, like gesamkuntswerk in a musicology class we should use all of the senses to fill her home with love, so I baked some gingerbread cookies, so it would smell Christmasy, too.

This morning I heard a talk by Julie Beck where she likened baking fresh rolls to reading our scriptures as they provide an atmosphere.  I used to think I needed to play the right music or talk, but yesterday Joseph emerged from his room and tossed a pair of ear buds at me. I thought they were for Mary, because I had asked earlier if he had an extra pair, though not much discussion was had. So, I thought it was working, he was so sweet to go find them, and I promptly thanked him and turned off my music and gave them to Mary. Upon returning to my perch, I turned my music back on (His Eye is on the Sparrow) to hear the entire lyric, but n9 sooner that I did, Joe reemmerged and he was upset and said, "what do you thing those were for? Please, respect others. Your noise is diving my attention and I need to focus right now." Oooopsie doodles!

So, the idea I was ripe to receive was that if I just read my scriptures and do the things I value, the spirit will permeate my home and all who enter will be bless, no blaring church hymns required.

morning thought

During the ice storm what was at the root of making our community a zion wasn't something unobtainable,  it was the fact that they knew Christ.

The better you know Christ the more you love him and want to emulate him, or there is that scripture I love from the story about King Benjamin,  "When ye are in the service of others, you are only in the service of your God." And, you cannot serve the master you do not even know..... ok, ok, back on track... it seemed as I thought this morning, that the greatest worth to anyone ought to be getting to know our Savior. 

So, how do we do that?

You can answer that for yourself, me? Iam going to try prayer.

morning thoughts

I was actually reading about Nephi returning with his brothers to get wives to go with them, but as I let youtube continue uninterrupted the algorithm was allowed to play whatever and Book of Mormon videos ensued while I was crocheting away, but, I started to think alot about one thing, the things Lehi told his family before he died. Among those things was the way to know the time alotted for man to germinate in full was coming, or in other words Jesus was returning for good. And, among those signs he spoke of many things that led my mind down many paths. I truly love the book of Mormon if only because I have those words. Lehi is a great man!

I wonder what it would be like to be Joseph Smith and know that Lehi was talking about him, and that he was kin to native Americans,  but likely no suprise to him, but it was prophesied about his being sort of imprisoned, etc. Joseph Smith likely had alot of things on his mind,  but I supposed he might be a bit piqued of interest to hear prophesy about himself. 

Next I thought about the object lesson the missionaries gave about the strength of the book of Mormon. And, how i had promised the young women in Gallatin, TN and I currently can testify again, that there is a protecting power not just in the knowledge that comes as a result of daily study, but it brings what seem to be unrelated blessings to a life if they read and ponder it's pages.

It is related to the hemisphere of our brains that innately seem to know things. Like the way, people in a coma wake up speaking a language fluently that conciously they had never learned. I notice it daily as I play the piano, then realize that I don't even know what I am playing. Or that I cannot actually simultaneously hear and follow multiple parts at once. 

morning thoughts - miracles

As I was thinking about Nephi, I followed the usual thought process of how he surely exists due to the impossibility of Joseph Smith to fabricate him and his entire story. And while I was thinking about the sort of world He lived in I started imagining scenes from movies I had seen including his martyrdom.  This stirred up scenes from other movies I had seen but, not yet formed a conclusion on. One such was a scene from the show Vikings, where a priest told a miraculous story of how God intervened, and so the Vikings asked him to pray as they killed him to see if he would intervene again, and I formed a conclusion that God did truly exist, and obviously hears and answers each prayer, but he does not offer up signs and wonders to those who seek such proof.

When Jesus himself performed miracles he would comment or even weep that his Father would allow such a great miracle to be performed. And Jesus made it well known in His life that miracles were not done for the convincing, in fact, they were hid for the most part. And I recall another scripture that says that miracles are a product of faith not the other way around.

morning thoughts

Nephi flatly told us that knowing our pedigree was not of any worth to us, but, it was of worth (thus included in many of their books)to those living in Jerusalem. It is however important to know that he is of the house of Isreal. Specifically, of Joseph, whose blessing is very important to his modern decendants.among the blessings that come to every soul of the house of Abraham  is a blessing needed to assist in the gathering of all the house of Israel, specifically teaching them.

I was curious regarding how unbelievable it is that a being who was the father of many worlds would have actually chosen one group out of many. I have learned alot in pursuing that question.finally, I concluded that God "chose" Abraham before he was even born because of his nobility. One of his blessings once born was to sire the eventual vessel to house the very begotten son of God. Thereby, blessing all nations of this world.

So, ultimately person by person lineage is only important as to how it applies to redemption and return. So, Nephi is sufficed to know and share that he is a descendents of one of Jacob's sons.

meaning

I dreamed a situation where, after "the end" people, not sure who they were and it didn't pertain anyhow, we're talking about all the meaning they found though living, but they were glad to be done with that whole thing (they called that "whole thing" life). And approaching the group of people I added how much I agreed, and was about to make some more observations, but was shut down immediately as they disbanded and said that I have nothing worth saying about life cause I may have been present, but I didn't actually see what life was like. I felt really hurt because I rarely get offended or hurt, and that somehow discredited me from this massive personality shaping experience. 

So, there's being there vs. being there, and perspective and maturity that can, too change the meaning seen... I was thinking about lyrics to a song and how shaped they are by our experience. Blah, blah, blah...

what I have been up to?

I am determined to figure this weight thing out,  and in the process I have gained the perspective that gaining weight and loosing muscle is a part of life, like growing taller. My purpose is to be the healthiest, not the skinniest.

I have seen others who seem to have figured out how to loose fat, but the result looks horrible, and that was the advice that my grandmother had given me, years and years ago.

My latest solution is to just be patient and ultimately, be healthy, even if it means size gain. For my hormones to be messed up, there would have to be another ideal that it was deviating from. I believe that though different than before, and what compared to societal ideals might be screwed up is actually exactly fine. And as I decide on my habit/goals I ask myself if I am willing to commit to this for the rest of my life.

The best thing I heard in a long time was said last night regarding dressing in crazy outfits. Someone said. "It is really all about confidence. A coworker showed up today looking extremely odd...in a crazy shirt. But, they pulled it off." I suspect that is how it works for us an our body types and health. There is no one particular way that looks and functions superior. It is more about making it work, and having a purpose.

So, lately, I have been trying to come up with a daily routine that will give me purpose each day and ultimately give me the confidence I now lack to be able to accomplish whatever resets me.

Where did it come from?

I had previously decided that the southern American accent is closer to the English list heard in England itself and likely finds origins there, something to do with aristocracy.  Because of the need of slaves.  But, as I hear Scandinavians speak English, they have a more American sounding accent. And without conciously considering it, I thought well, that makes sense because Old English and Old Norse practically sound the same. I often not how similar Swedish words are, my kids can tell what I am saying in Icelandic and Dutch quite easily without ever studying vocabulary. Ok, ok, that seems sensible, but where the heck did the Formal English pronunciations come from. I haven't ever said, but Scottish/Irish share alot with Icelandic and that can be explained by Celtic migrations and colonization, but it is something Aural about how they speak the words in England that us unique and I honestly do not know where that dialect comes from.