ethniticity

I cannot help but think about reality when I consider the interrelatedness of cultures. But, at this point I am noticing cultures that claimed ethnicities, mostly due to being forced to "not meld".

At first I was listening to a song that was sung in Faroese, and the island claims Nordic ethnicity, and I could understand the words and was going to guess it was Icelandic, though I bet someone who actually knew Icelandic would say it sounded like some Celtic babble, and that rabbit hole opened up to contemplation of Sean Nos and a special stringed instrument, that was Greek in origin, but as I listened to a Galacian piece played in an Irish style I could have swore it sounded like a sitar. And critics of the Irish singing claimed it sounded Indian(S Asian). I thought, how interconnected and by music. Then I considered Eleanor of Aquitaine and her father and wondered what ethnicity they would claim to be, just then, it struck me again how odd that isolated part of a larger inheritance formed into an ethnicity where men and women were the same height. It made sense in that light how my ex-husband always said he was average height for a male, but he was the same height as me, but I was perfectly average height for a woman, and my closest match to ancient DNA was from bones found on Rathland island, and yet I am called Scandinavian on one site and then celtic on another, and one site strangely gives a 99% accuracy to their placing an ancestor in Hahn China though,  it is surely an admixture, it was just honed in on because it was what distinguished me from other Italians. Oh, dear me!

need to bookmark this

Often, what my brain does is provide a vessel or bowl for ideas to be sort of mixed together, much like the reflection described by "Tabula Rasa"

One Idea that always mixes strangely with other ideas is one that I am pretty certain was never intended. It is the lyric to a song "Entangled" by Ástiðir the lyric is "there is no honest way of telling us apart." And maybe it is the word honest that conjures up who is considered the great "Lawyer, Lier..."(credit goes to Morrissey for that lyric) so I always think it is about Lucifer and Jehovah suggesting they might be twins or something, and that they are so extremely similar. And that idea just played out in my mind as I was revisiting, as I often do, Kabbalah. And it is noted how similar psychedelic experience is to  true spiritual sensing of the world.

For some reason, I wanted that thought to be preserved as I empty and clean my "mixing bowl" or vessel to make room for my next serving.

spiritual promptings

As I am focusing on choices, I think alot on the topic of revelation and prompting of the spirit.

As illustrated in the story of Moses and the children of Israel escaping the Egyptians, we have red sea moments. A miracle is needed and it is NEEDED immediately. But, often intervention is proceeded by faith, which in this story is evidenced by action.

I was listening to a talk by Elder Bednar where he notes that most inSPIRation/revelation comes in unrecognizable ways at the time... so we ought not wait for the miracle, so to speak, but act expecting the best outcome. This impresses me because a most common question is "was that still small voice just my own thoughts?" And well, it stands to reason that if you are aware of a still small voice in the first place, your thoughts are likely in the process of emulating God already so they probably would be the same.

In situations where your own thoughts differ but you mistake them for being the best choice, well, my experience is that if you get something wrong on a test you learn better than if you had gotten it right..... oh that reminds me of another story: https://youtu.be/yNQC-_srxH8

a reason good languages are phonetic

It really passes people off when a word doesn't at all look like it sounds, like in my elementary school spelling bee, I got out, and still remember it, with the word Herb, the previous year I got the word cabinet wrong. And, that was merely because of the pronunciation, I repeated the word as cabinet and spelled it as such. Not realizing my error I went on to pronounce herb first and spelled it error. Though, it is funny now, at the time I got quite angry. But, it is more common to hear people learning English complain about "silent" letters like k or g.

What came to mind was my daughter getting upset when a Dr. Seuss book used a Girraffe to represent G. And then a very funny skit where a kindergarten teacher is teaching letter sounds (one per letter) and says A is aye (long a sound) and represented commonly by an Ayepple. She looks at her picture of an Apple and starts to question if she has said it wrong her entire life!!

OK, my original thought was caused by a contemplation of various Alphabets, and how as an English speaker I love Icelandic because it is a phonetic language meaning it sounds like it is spelled (once you learn the sounds). I thought this was probably more important to a literate country. It had been said that Icelandic most closely represents old Norse language and so one can easily extrapolate what it sounded like. What I meant was to say that Iceland is a country where it's constituents have seen how words can be spoken from the past through text, and so even if the people no longer remain their word can be preserved if one has a cipher or phonetic language.

similarities

Whenever I contemplate diety of any people's I am struck more with the similarities than I am absurdities. 

I do not have the tools to say much detail, like occurrs to me in thought, but contemplating such similarities definitely leads to a truth. No matter how bizarre an idea is, the fact that all men have such a notion must be explained.

Common basis

Or what I often consider. It is easy for me to retrospectively see how foolish such a belief is or even how unnecessary certain sacrifice was, but why then do or believe it. I will speak briefly about the Greeks. In other disciplines their thinkers were esteemed, so how could a culture who believed in such rediculous gods have produced such great thoughts? I have given myself an answer.

I have noticed for the most part the ideas are consistent, but culture has adapted such ideas so that they might be learned and allowed to influence. Successful influence (fruit)has been embraced fully by a culture and it becomes a religion. 

So, it is commonplace that mankind has always sought out and loved something they cannot manage to understand. It is very comparable to the way Jesus Christ spoke in parables. Or how communion or sacrament only represents a sacrifice that we need in our minds, but it cannot be reperformed again and again, where as the symbols can remind us. Ok, my mind is running away again, I want to quickly liken this to the sacrifice of various animals was to put an idea in minds. I have often said that religions are like a wheelchair or crutches, they help one who cannot move for themselves, but we ought not become dependant on them the idea is that because we cannot move right now does not mean we cannot experience the same things as one who can.

OK, my screen keeps going black, soon it will freeze up and I will loose everything.  So, bye!

Laws of early Israelites

As I was thinking about all of the laws many I have given more thought than others, ultimately, I realized how loving, almost like favoring, it was to give those rules.

One of my favorite teachings was regarding our senses and how much our notion of what is, is based on what we perceive. 

So, on Stargate Atlantis a group is given laws to live by and a visiting team proves they are not true, and do not need to be lived by, and one guy responds that he would rather be limited by "silly rules" if it meant living in peace than being "free" But dead. Finally, Dr. Weir points out that maybe the reasons behind those rules was too complex, so instead they were given those rules to keep them safe. She tells Dr. McKay how presumptuous it is to think he knows best and over throw their rules as wrong.... but, technically, they are. It reminds me of a video years ago by a Hebrew scholar defending his faith when archeological studies were proving the book of Exodus as false. He said, "what makes the stories true is not that they are factual."

So, now to my thoughts on the laws in Leviticus. Maybe, there are things which are more complex than our senses indicate and so being forbidden because one is made "unclean" might not be factual, but true. Sort of like the way everyone wore masks and they were even mandatory and enforced while they did not prevent the spread of infection. So often outward appearances communicate in a way that can be understood and thereby appreciated, and they do something for our mindset. They made us all more aware of a virus and thereby did more that was appearance.

I just feel like laws were given to protect people and insure they were healthy and happy, then Jesus came and tried to say, "hey, guys some of this stuff has been taken out of context and I need to adjust it. 

Darn it. Getting too long... better stop writing.

such a cool idea!

In a podcast I heard someone liken each of the first 5 chapters of Matthew to the first five books of the Torah, and it worked well. I am impressed. Makes sense because Matthew was writing for a Hebrew or is it an Hebrew. Hmmmmm. A Jewish/Israeli audience. The books ate actually so closely related, it is just fun to have another way to link them.

Egyptian connection

I had been fascinated by Egyptian things so I didn't really need a nudge, but as I was visiting someone last week they mentioned watching documentaries about Egypt. So, I did too layer that week. And as I watched a video on Netflix about Saquarah (sp?) I was knitting so only heard the name Wahtey, and thought instantly that they must be in the wilderness or desert or something, cause I remember learning about wadis being dried up rivers. When I looked up and saw it spelled differently I was taken down a different rabbit hole because this was a matter of convention or transliteration and the name was audibly the same, so I revisited what smidgen I knew about hieroglyphics. And then, this morning I learned about another Egyptian-like word that mean never ending love... cue mental soundtrack "Never my love" by the association. The word was Mormon.

Cool, huh?

Alot like the first time I met Roderick and he was excited that my name was Greek, cause he was studying Greek at BYU. He proceeded to tell me that Utah suited me well because the Book of Mormon people spoke a type of Egyptian in which my name translated to Deseret. Cool!

Now. I am considering a possible mental testimony that would be founded on the notion of tracing languages like is popularly done with scandinavian languages with regards to understanding viking heritage. I got to thinking that if any remnants of Egyptian language like Mohr Mahn could be found in modern languages, it could prove a notion weakly, right?

Probably just silly thoughts is all, but there is potential there.

I never said that...

Closely related to the concept that omission and misdirection is lying is the fact that our actions say what our moiths never do.

So often, I am corrected sharply for verbally translating someone's actions in correctly. But, was it incorrect? Or just not anything they would have ever spoken. 

We communicate with more than our voices. This should be so clear with the whole covid pandemic left fresh in our minds and we needed to communicate in different ways without in person communication. 

Yesterday, at church honesty was the topic, and so my mind went today to the things we say over and over again but have never actually spoken, like in a previous talk I loved the comment that on Sunday some things needed to be seen to, like if the ox was in the mire then get him out, but if it happens next week, we'll get him out again, but if the ox habitually gets in the mire, it's probably time to get a new ox.

 I have been beating myself up regarding things that were never actually said, but over and over and over actions scream a thing, so how long ought I ignore such actions? There is a song (ofcourse, there always is) "Till I hear it from you" by the Gin Blossoms. 

Darn it! I made my point. I am cold and I need to go think more...

entangled

I think the very thought I am about to share is the thing that causes the most concern in others and fear in myself, because it us not entirely understood and when something seems odd or no explainable, but exists it gets that emotion. My daughter and I decided that was why people like Horror genre.

OK, so Joseph and St. Patrick were warned in a dream, and it became the basis for what they did, how their story unfolded and came to be considered inspirational, and we accept it easily.

Joseph Smith had a message, but it wasn't in a dream, and the world hates him and rejects his story. Many individuals had previously explained that Joseph Smith saw an angel alright, but it was the devil, who appeared as an angel of light. Ok. Obviously, I will not dispute with them nor attempt to explain why despite those remarks I believe his gospel, but this morning a song kept playing in my mind and I had often considered why it was important to "discern the spirits" (doctrine & covenants 129). The song was "Entangled" by Àrstiđir, and it got me thinking about how difficult it must be to tell them apart, and so I wanted to share a way, not unique, of how to know if what you are being taught is true.

I already shared the sure fire way, from the scriptures, but many might get all upset that it was revealed by a questionable source in the first place, that in itself is intriguing. Because, my notion was to ask, like an actor or actress, "what is this character's motivation". And so, why would the devil reveal a way to determine if he was from God? We know that another great way to tell a thing is by it's fruits. But, ultimately, I think it all boils down to what your purpose is in the first place, then the thing becomes good and better and ultimately best when it lines up with what you are aiming for. 

In college I used a metaphor of a golfer to explain to a friend why I didn't do a thing. But didn't think it was wrong for others. I explained that it depended on which hole I was aiming for. It seems my destination is more difficult and definitely more difficult than those who do not have a goal. In those cases anywhere they hit the ball is alright, so if they hit a sand trap it would not be as terrible as if I landed my ball in one, and yet if I stayed focused I could still reach my goal it would just be harder. But what I really wanted to convey about that conversation was that I was aiming for a difficult hole when there were others which were easier and obvious that were right in front of me, so sometimes my choices were harder and different but if the reward was to land in a hole, each would be happy regardless of the hardship, but I was trying for a more difficult hole and I knew it. Blah, blah, blah.

The whole point is if a thing helps you reach your goal it is good, and navigating is hard whether you know where you are going or not. But, let me explain really quick why the notion of the devil telling Joseph Smith how to tell the spirits apart is just preposterous. That would assume that same spirit would be teaching Joseph all about his goal including pitfals or stumbling blocks which would impede him, making no person actually an agent unto himself or able to choose if a thing was a pitfal or not, and then with this revelation he would teach that of utmost importance was having agency, or the ability to choose incorrectly and repent.

This brings me back to how similar True and false are.  

Often we are deceived by truth, mingled with one tiny lie. I think of how they say one bad apple spoils the bunch, or how if you see mold on a thing do not si.ply cut off the visually damaged part because more will have been corrupted. Is it not true that if someone told us an obvious lie we should not believe him, but if someone told us all truth, but one little lie as part of it, we would more easily accept it. I see this with terms and conditions that people agree to, they agree with everything they read assuming they agree with everything g, including the "fine print" which basically undoes everything promised.or that is a mean of getting a bill into law in congress by placing it along with other ring that will easily be passed into law, hoping no one will notice what else has been sneaked on there.... oh I need to motivate my family now, nearly time for school. Cheers!

purpose

Listening to music does it every time. I used to just listen, then I started to feel it, and now I think a whole lot, maybe too much about the lyrics. While I was trapped in deep consideration a thought peeped out like the emerging shoot that proceeds anything that was once a seed.

I think about how thankful I am to have been raised by parents who taught me correct principles and grandparents who taught me to question everything and scrutinize verbally. I so miss the way my grandparents would talk about and consider things, that part of them truly lives on in me, I think it us why I am able to cling so tightly to the gospel as taught by the church of Jesus Christ while everyone around me or I look up to buckets under such pressure. Due to my upbringing, such questioning/questions strengthened me and push me on to a less obvious or harder to find truth, that can only be found through bouts of pure faith.

This morning, I was thinking about a thing my SS* teacher asked once about enduring to the end. I combined it with one of my father's favorite songs that repeats over and again that "there is no end... " I laugh to remember my brother adding an additional lyric of, "there is no end to this song." One time when we sang it for FHE**. Anyhow, I was wondering why we were ever headed towards a goal only to realize there is another goal. It makes alot of sense on some level.I thought in terms of Geometry and how younger folk assume any ray has a destination, and how important segments are to understanding trajectory (purpose). Now, I could speak about the paradox I like about how we could never actually move or touch one another because there is an infinite amount of half-way points to be reached but, instead I will write about extrapolation and how we can know things that we are never told by continuing on in a similar manner. My father taught me a similar principle one a drive home from college once. He told me that it was so important to continue on in a chosen profession and learn it in a greater detail although I was prone to learn more once a certain point is reached.... ok ok, getting way off track here. I only meant to mention how it is often commented how different we all are and that people ought not be "pigeon holed" or labeled. But, that is sort of what we are doing, or what the entire purpose of mortality is. We are here to get bodies to become like our Fatther in Heaven. We'll, that is a common goal and I thought, what if someone does not want that purpose? Ah hah! That answered my big question about so many of God's spirit children, and it pained me to consider their fate... until I thought, well, it was a choice and they got to choose another purpose, this one was the one I chose and so it becomes "best" to me. I would say more but my phone is doing really strange thing's. I believe it is because this is getting too long for it's page file....so, bye.

*SS = Sunday School

** FHE = Family Home Evening. A night of family togetherness, fun, and instruction. 

Jonah and Eve...

I noticed a similarity between the prophet Jonah and Eve (the mother of all living) this morning as I prepared another CFM lesson. I had not even previously noticed this so, I wanted to record it while it was on my mind.

Both Jonah and Eve ended up succeeding and the reason is the same, because they both chose something other than what was asked of them.

Eve was asked not to eat of the fruit from ONE tree, and Jonah was asked to preach to the people of Ninevah. Clearly, they made choices to disobey, necessary or not is a big and other topic...so we will simply say both were disobedient. 

Exact obedience is required, but mercy has a place, one can repent (change). Such is made possible through a sinless sacrifice...whom I add was reluctant, but exactly obedient ("thy will, not mine, be done.")

It is through the sacrifice of Jesus that either could ever hope to have success. EVERYONE knows that.  But, what stood out to me this morning was that sometimes we actually need to choose wrong. There is a great video where another explains this principle so much better: 

https://youtu.be/yNQC-_srxH8

It has been so frequently taught and understood that Eve's disobedience was forgiveness actually necessary that life could be, and so as I marvel at her faith and understanding I thought, "hmmm, I bet she had learned about a Savior and thought it a neat little unnecessary thing for her, but if she truly believed it she could have the strength to risk it all that we might have a chance.... alright, that covers Eve, now Jonah.

Firstly, the story seemed too perfectly crafted to prove a point that it seems less likely to have happened, but even still what could we (my family) learn from the story?or what exactly was the author trying to convey, and I decided, it was similar to the story of Adam and Eve, if not usually understood factually it contained a great truth that regardless of what choice you make there is a way to be restored to what ought to be. And most miraculous, more so than a man surviving being swallowed by a large fish, is that despite what seemed to be a hypocritical teacher, Jonah became a successful prophet and the Ninavites listened and believed him. 

while we are putting little tags on everyone...

Whenever I start to think of what I would be right now, I begin to feel more acutely alone. I do not know if I would have fit it actually, but things I enjoyed and excelled at even if I did not become any better in the past 10 or so years. It is like I spent my every waking hour honing my skills and achieving heights practically unfathomable by those around me now. And it is just assumed that I am some interested armature at best at things I was once the champion of... it frustrates me and gives me compassion for those "non verbal autistic" children I knew. I could tell they knew far more than the average child, but could not say, but maybe it is not the same at all cause perhaps they do not even want to communicate, assigning them n similar desires is like how we "humanize" vehicles or strange jungle creatures. I have been full of the notion today that we only receive as much as we can handle, oh, then the idea that always crowds out other explanations for my "disability"...maybe, it is a blessing to loose the ability to chase and pursue a thing I already mastered. It is what I love and so it hurts to be separated,  it reminds me of my trombone/choir teacher/advisor in college who said that he had a bandectemy. When I was younger I had to actually decide not to pursue cheerleaders and dance  (which I loved) to be able to devote myself more fully to music and running....neither or which I can do now, but my father taught me a valuable lesson. He told me about this lady who became a leading expert in her field and discovered things no one else ever could about earthworms. Because, no one with her intelligence would purposefully choose to study earthworms, but she could not, for some reason, pursue her original interest and so she somehow decided on a different path... instead of one in a million  brilliant physicists she became the one and only "Earth worm Lady". I think I was supposed to focus on raising my children, it is not that I could not do anything else, But, I really shouldn't and to make sure I now could not do anything worthwhile but ensure my children grow up right. I will likely be interviewed about such a stewardship and ultimately, that pursuit will be of greater significance than being a world renowned musician. So, you see how I always end up thinking about Ludwig von Beethoven?

the Birthmark

I have been noticing alot how the closer a thing gets to it's perfection, the more correction seems so important. I call it the Birthmark dilemma, named after the short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

In the story an alchemist marries a beautiful woman who would be perfect were it not for the Birthmark on her cheek. It becomes his obsession to get rid of it, one concoction finally works and the mark fades from her cheek...our teacher suggested that the whole trial or conflict represents the ideals of romantic literature in that true perfection cannot exist in this world, accordingly the woman, after imbibing the potion, dies, and the reader concludes that if the silly man would have just accepted his wife as nearly perfect, she would not have died.

In the kabbalistic teachings (which remind me of quantum physics) a thing is desired, but once obtained no longer exists.

I was lecturing my son about this Birthmark principle when we were discussing how imperfect everyone is, but we get over that to make friends. Then, it came to mind again as I was listening to trials of the early LDS church in establishing itself independently. It is very similar to the way the Lord seems to chastened those whom he loves. It really reminds me of a time a sister I see as so close to ideal she claimed that she NEEDS the sacrament because she needs constant repentance because she was so flawed. It sure seems that the closer to perfection the more of a contrast "sin" becomes.

is it safe yet?

It is like I only knew being fooled was to be avoided so, the greatest trick would be to make the pursuit of Love a stumbling bock or evil in it's aim, so it made sense to avoid love altogether... seemed brilliant and totally unexpected. Like someone trying to loose weight avoids ice cream entirely. Ok, perhaps you do not see what I mean, so I will dig in a bit and explain until the lights go on. Ice cream is sweet and contains a lot of fat. If avoided when a part of your regular diet, it would be sooooo hard to not ear it ever, but would definitely have consequences which included weight loss. Ice cream, because it tastes so good also becomes a trigger for good reward centers in the brain, and not getting them might make one feel unfulfilled or unrewarded. Eventually that emptiness might pull so hard to be fulled that it could be replaced with something worse. Ice cream was never the enemy. See? There has been such a hole in my life from my avoidance of love that I realized that I no longer need love,  but have filled it's place with something that will never be love. And we'll, it doesn't need to be, but Have been cautioned heavily on how I did NEED to be cherished and would be. But, in stories there is a conflict and because the end has not been decided yet, it unfolds to our interest.  But, I can freely repeat the quote I heard often  "I read this story, I know who wins." But, what of my story? Does it ever have an end? I have a lyric in my head, "don't stop here" from Howie Day's "Collide". Depending on where the reader stops the hero could win or loose, there are high and low points where a side appears to be the victor. But, in the end, who wins?like a diet. When one decides to break it, they have no enforcer but themselves. Likewise, if I wanted to end my love boycott no one would blow a siren or arrest me, but, anything I gained because of it might be threatened. Last night, I saw a video where a protagonist admittedly, "for the first time, I actually thought, you could stop. I realized that I did not need to do this. But, it was just a split second. Ofcourse, I would do this." 

No one would know, but someone would be effected.