is it safe yet?

It is like I only knew being fooled was to be avoided so, the greatest trick would be to make the pursuit of Love a stumbling bock or evil in it's aim, so it made sense to avoid love altogether... seemed brilliant and totally unexpected. Like someone trying to loose weight avoids ice cream entirely. Ok, perhaps you do not see what I mean, so I will dig in a bit and explain until the lights go on. Ice cream is sweet and contains a lot of fat. If avoided when a part of your regular diet, it would be sooooo hard to not ear it ever, but would definitely have consequences which included weight loss. Ice cream, because it tastes so good also becomes a trigger for good reward centers in the brain, and not getting them might make one feel unfulfilled or unrewarded. Eventually that emptiness might pull so hard to be fulled that it could be replaced with something worse. Ice cream was never the enemy. See? There has been such a hole in my life from my avoidance of love that I realized that I no longer need love,  but have filled it's place with something that will never be love. And we'll, it doesn't need to be, but Have been cautioned heavily on how I did NEED to be cherished and would be. But, in stories there is a conflict and because the end has not been decided yet, it unfolds to our interest.  But, I can freely repeat the quote I heard often  "I read this story, I know who wins." But, what of my story? Does it ever have an end? I have a lyric in my head, "don't stop here" from Howie Day's "Collide". Depending on where the reader stops the hero could win or loose, there are high and low points where a side appears to be the victor. But, in the end, who wins?like a diet. When one decides to break it, they have no enforcer but themselves. Likewise, if I wanted to end my love boycott no one would blow a siren or arrest me, but, anything I gained because of it might be threatened. Last night, I saw a video where a protagonist admittedly, "for the first time, I actually thought, you could stop. I realized that I did not need to do this. But, it was just a split second. Ofcourse, I would do this." 

No one would know, but someone would be effected.