Shiney toy, idol, whatever you want to call it

I was thinking about how we fail to recognize obvious things because they are not new. There is a lyric that makes me think a whole lot about it. "..for it is the drum of drum, It is the sound of sounds." It automatically conjures up ideas of gravity. It existed long before Newton documented it. Such things are, scientifically noted not by their doings as much as by their abscence. For instance we do not even notice how gravity effects everything around us, but if it was gone we would instantly want that force that held us together, etc.

I was thinking alot as well how very spiritual people claim that they never had a testimony if it is defined the way new converts recognize truth, because truth was a thing they always had, recognizing it is a bit harder. I relate this to being beautiful. I have been onlivious to it because I was blessed to be so extremely beautiful. Now, I do not say this out of vanity or pride, but out of a need to share a truth, I realized largely because it was taken. I knew that something was missing, and I "...tried so hard to put back the light in my eyes..."

This morning, I was continuing my search for beauty and I realized the main reason beauty was alluding me no matter how I searched... I was so upset when others made comments to me about beauty, and I still did not even know what it was. Ah, hah! Beauty is what I am and was and that is why I did not recognize it, until I was blessed with a central nervous infection that stripped away everything I thought identified me.

The truly most profound thing happened as I was driving to the temple in my car by myself, a song played: "I Love You like a Love Song", and it was not the temple, but I was sure this was a Heavenly communication, whereas typically, I discredit anything I learn from music. I typically always am inspired by music, but that is why I always go to the temple. It is because no unclean thing can enter and so, it is sure that any insight I gain there will be from a good source. But, years ago a girl told me that she particularly loved my comment about to standing in Holy Places and thought I was on to something. I was sure that somehow my van had become a holy place, and I figure it is because I was there alone, and scientifically, if it was a holy place, and it was just me. I had to be acceptable the way I was.

My kids are asking to go somewhere I cannot focus anymore...maybe later, I'm not done.