A cool happening!

I am not new to this phenomena, but it still amazes me when I witness it. Regardless what you believe is happening, this happens and it is so cool to be a part of it.

I teach a class of 8 yr olds, and often because our wanderings seem to go as many directions as their are children and it is my job to try to keep a fundamental purpose in their minds as we discuss, right now, Bible Stories.

A boy interrupted the lesson, which I was reading the overarching purpose of our "discussion". He interrupted to tell us what happened the other week. We had been learning about Jacob and Esseau maybe. Somehow we wandered off so I tried to rein all of their thoughts in by uniting them under a common theme. I had forgotten about it, myself. I had told them that was,why it is soooo extremely important to keep our promises. If we say something, we need to do it. And such was true with a birthright. Ofcourse, there was nothing besides a person's words that made a person right or wrong, and the inheriter of all the blessings of a father. It seemed like Isaac would just realize the mistake and recant, but he did not because his words and blessing were binding. This is true for marriage and everything. A thing is a promise that binds us so we need to enter them cautiously and then never change our mind. Like I had said, I do not even remember that I solely remrmber teaching the story. But, this was the lesson that entered intothis precious little heart, and he mentioned how many stories throughout the week ended up dealing with that same issue and so the idea was cemented in his mind.

A similar thing happened where I got to see how it was sort of regardless what I taught that the children learned what mattered most to them. To leave the classroom (3-5 year olds) they needed to tell me one thing that they learned from class that day. I was suprised that the things, oftimes were things that had never even occurred to me, but had been gleaned from what I taught.

This is true whenever we teach true things, stories, or principles. Pieces that fill the longing/currently empty energy levels will be absorbed. Whatever the child needs to learn right now will be absorbed,  and it us why we repeat things so often. One time Lena, my oldest daughter sat next to me in Relief Society (a class for women when she was only about 9 yrs old). After the class, almost shocked, she was suprised to hear that we learned the same things. She expected that we would have learned that by now (I do not even remember what the lesson was). She was expecting it was where I was taught of of these secret mysteries of the universe, but, it was just the truth told over and over and over again.

Another really important thing I learned about teaching young children (actually teach opposed to what we all believe that teaching is) that forcing particular skills or thoughts is never the desired success. And oftimes, no obvious success can be discerned, and happiness and eagerness toward knowlegde and truth is the most desirable thing. Oftimes we are but a step, and many,many, many steps will be taken before a principle is grasped. Many of the Bible stories are merely being introduced full knowledge of the "morals" and themes will not be grasped at this point. That is why I loved this story. The child was taught what he needed at that point, and it gives a sense of fufilment despite the apparent lack.

My husband and I study the lesson and pray and then talk to the kids and let them adapt the story to fit what they want to hear if it comes off as pointless meandering, and playing, so be it. I know better. We do not have the time in one hour to teach them everything that has occurred as significant as we prepare, but all that information is available to be dispensed as needed.

Ester

Ok, so, I was watching the cartoon story of Ester last week, and liked it so much that I clicked on it on YouTube to be reinspired, and I was but, my thoughts took an entirely different direction.

I actually stumbled on this new thought by trying to imagine myself in such a position, as we often do by replacing words of scriptures with our own name. Ok, so I started getting all upset instead of inspired.

The same moral of the story worked for perhaps she was "born for such a time." But, I thought, do we not teach our young children that marriage should only be with those of our faith, in the right time and right place? Eeek! Ester had to Marry the king  (and not pray publically, but hide who she really was) for her people. If it were me, which it wasn't, I would feel terrible, like I was missing the whole point and purpose of being. So, what if I saved lives if I ruined my own, "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God." Souls are not merely spirits or merely bodies.

As I was finding this strange yet undeniable sort of paradox, I thought of a thing I had read years ago written by Tal Bachman, not to credit him, but just to explain where I read it. I was not looking for information from "dissenters" or anything. I merely liked the way his mind worked and was almost addicted to his words. Anyhow, he said that it did not matter where we looked, pretty much any story or principle we looked at, loopholes would jump out at us, and they always do (I recall being impressed by his analogy to simple arithmetic and it didn't add up).

I would follow the counsel of Dieter Uchtdorf to "doubt my doubts." And soon enough my struggle to make peace is won with a new stronger faith for having "hefted that weight" like I teach my kids,  to build muscle we are actually tearing and ripping tissue and as it repairs it is stronger and that is why they are sore sometimes.

https://youtu.be/Oo1A3sOvHyo

Shanara

One of the central issues from season 1 that I gravitate to when contemplating major life issues has nothing to do with the violence, excessive blood, love triangles or beautiful actresses, any show can be watched if one sought those things, so I tell myself they were just thrown in to fill quotas but the real issues are why I come back and endure all of the despictable things. One of the favorite issues is included in the story of the king elf who did what he thought best for his children and nation but, then the situation the faced though it could be dealt with through fable and legend, to give one's life the truth was necessary. Specifically, the king had raised his family not to believe events that occurred as literal, and that magic was not true, but then much happened that required him to acknowledge that magic did indeed exist.

Magic comes with a cost, though, and the king ends up paying with his life.  Well into season 2, a faction provides the major struggle in the plot, which has the purpose of destroying magic. This makes me perhaps understand a bit why the king tried to destroy all belief in magic by denying it's existence in the first place.

Currently, I am trying to figure out who I, as a viewer, am supposed to see as the good guy. The elf dude/Shanaran who represents Magic or the Elf Ursurper whi seeks to erradicate all magic.

The season started with the hero dealing with magic or not in his desire to heal. He seems perfectly suited for medicine, but it is only because he is ideally suited for Magic. A mentor even explains that madicine is not his thing, but he claims that although it is true that he saved the world with magic, it comes with a huge price, which he is not willing to pay, but the desire to help still lives within him.

Again, With Feeling!

Ok, Yes, this wisdom was stirred up due to the influence of a song by Regina Spektor:

So, if you know me at all it goes without saying that I am Mormon or Latter-day Saint, but in case you were not aware for some reason, I am LDS and we have a prophet who speaks with God directly, and recently we had a general conference where the mouthpiece of God speaks directly to his people (Mormons). It has been said of such a gathering that one gets out of it what one puts into it. That seems sort of "Emporer's New Clothes"ish to me, but it is undeniably true. It is also true for every meeting that one attends looking for meaning.

     I recently decided that this must be true for temple attendance(worship) as well, and I have heard of great experiences orhers have had at the temple where the "veil" was so thin that they knew of others who had passed on were present. I resented it a bit that although I have (pardon the phrase) religiously attended the temple but have had no such manifestation. I honestly figured that it was simply a matter of doing work for others who had no need and if I found one who did I would feel their appreciation. That has never been my motivation, though. One time, a gentleman told a story about an experience that he had that shook me up and my conclusions were that he must be  sucha special manto be entrusted with that sort of experience! I thought, "this is the most current referrence I have that if true, God truly does exist and visit his temples, and genuinely love and care for all of his children." 

    So, next pondering follows that if I had not had such an experience it was because I had not been sufficiently prepared. I have a short anecdote to share. A bishop's wife in Gallatin, TN told of a super cool experience that she had, I believe it was while she attended BYU. I'm not sure. I only recall that it was in an apartment complex. She told me the story close to 20 years ago. She told me that There had been a challenge issued to pray for missionary experiences or something, whichshe sort of had exempted herself from previously, but she decided that if there really was truth to it, then she would give it a serious try. mind you, she did not really expect anything to come of it. Still, she put the effort into it. she prepared and prayed, but nothing seemed to be God at work in her life; however, there was this one dude at a party that she liked, seemed totally unrelated, and as they grew closer their conversations deepened to cover things like faith, and she gave him a copy of the Book of Mormon, um from what I know about Utah it seems less likely that this would have taken place at BYU housing, because this guy was not familiar with Mormonism. When she gave the book she prayed quite hard because this could really be the missionary opportunity that she was seeking. Story ends that he joined the church and they get married and years later he is my bishop!

So, perhaps, I am missing all of the incredible spritiual events that I could be feasting on but am oblivious to because I am waiting for the proverbial frying pan to smack me in the face!  I have a pretty remarkable experience to tell of, actually, they flood in, but I have not the time to record them all!

our visiting teacher bore testimony at church and to us personally, that he believes one rerason that his daughter (non communicative Autism)cannot speak is because if she was able to tell us the things that she sees that we do not we would no longer need faith. He spoke of situations where it was obvious that she was beholding spirits that could not be seen, particularly of deceased progenitors. This same daughter and other non verbal children always get so excited and come give me hugs, which one could easily just say they are such loving individuals! and think it is likely rare they find someone who is perfectly accepting of such communication, but in lieu of what her farther said, maybe there is more that I do not "behold" because I am not sufficiently prepared for such. It is worth thinking about more...

Ooopsie doodles

I honestly meant to accomplish different things today, and actually the day isn't over, but I am at last too ill to accomplish anything, it is only Tuesday, perhaps if I rest I will feel better enough to get everything plus done later, I hate procrastinating anything because I could get worse, but I really doubt it, much worse would be death, and I would not be able to accomplish anything whereas if I rest I ought to be able to accomplish something less than I intended, but that has a way of working out...we'll see.

I should put this electronic device away or else I will not rest of that I am sure.

Um, It is a huge paradox, what that I am still typing, ooopsie! No. That I always feel so loved that I failed to notice how unloved I have been.  I seriously have no doubt what so ever that I have been carefully tutored and cared for. I also know that it was no mistake that I was born to my particular parents.

Ok getting sleepy, just dreamt of a crochet pattern for Joseph. He asked me to make a gift for his teacher for teacher appreciation and I bought yarn but as of yet had not particular design in mind. I got it, now.

Test

I have an idea for a test. Having been familiarized with the story of Enos, I previously decided that if one approached Heavenly Father in a like manner could recieve a full remission of his sins. This easter, that became more important. I realize that in order to achieve the desires of my heart I must first repent fully, and so my test is to find a way, fasting and prayer has been already given to increase the "priority" someone called it prayer on steriods. I am going to use a day during spring break to pray all day if possible.

Note: previously, when I tried to pray sincerely to Heavenly Father by locking myself in the bathroom, and the children still banged on the door, requesting admittance. And, I simply cannot deny the wishes of my children and hypocritally beg my father in Heaven for a thing. So, I probably need to inform them of my design. I thought of the temple as a place of refuge and bedtime, outside seems pretty solitary, only I am ill and it is cold at night.

But, as I consider doing this, I am always encouraged! I remember a few other situations when alone I was able to pray sincerely and communicate with Heaven and I had absolutely no doubt of things regardless of how true they logically seemed like not going on a mission when I was already preparing to do so, and it was not even my intent to find out if I SHOULD  go. Another time, I was in a refridgerated produce locker at pizza hut when I instantly thought, I'd really like to see this one aquaintance again, whom I figured that I would never see again. When I exited, I was asked if I would like anything from another resturaunt in Corinth, MS that we were doing a food exchange with, my old friend worked there. A simple thing, yeah. Easy to dismiss, but excitely I told LeAnne about the whole thing and the rest is history.

nice?

nice.

now in plain text it is hard to ascertain what I mean, so I will add that it means many things, but in my mind it sounds a way that when spoken is taken as sarcarstic. It was saoid in response to a cryptic message, I thought, "Nice." because it reminds me of how we were warned in a stake meeting not to let young women confess to us as leaders, they feel relieved cause they told someone and they may likely never remember it anymore, so it would not prick their heart to truly repent by confessing to one who is actually a judge of such infraction and able to truly grant forgiveness, and as I understood it, they would notproperly understand the atonement because they would assume they had experienced the peace that comes as a result of repenting, but they had not. That is how it seemed to me to tell someone a heart-felt thing in someone else's words. sure, the person knows and you sort of told, but not really, andso you did the difficult task without actually doing anything, nice.

Bummer

I weote a most thoughtful and profound post yesterday that appears nowhere. Sorry. And now, I forgot what I was going to say, but I do recall another thought so not all is lost... oh, oh,  it was about the ressurrection.

I may not understand the ressurrection or appreciate it yet, but as time changes my necessary experience I will at some point rely on the thing that I take for granted now, which us, an unshakable belief that I will live again after this life ends. All eras and epochs seem hard to bid farwell, but they all leave, but I remain. I love having a body and expect to keep it forever, strange to consider it only a vessel right now, I consider it me, but it is not, for I will never die and because of Jesus, I will be ressurrected, which again, I likely do not appreciate or understand, but What I do understand is what is the part that is necessary to believe everything else that I accept as true.

Time

It is always about time regardless what I have to say it ends up being about time. I fully intended a long post about my short hair, which would not have been as much about hair and fashion as about time and identity

It is about how scarcity makes a thing valuable. My parents used to say such a thing about paying tithing and the blessing of it comes from the hardship of it. Because one must manage carefully to be able to pay it one notices that it truly doesn't work out but somehow it always does if tithing is paid regardless.

So, I am finding with time the more closely I manage it, the more I seem to have, and lately, I have decided that I need compose which requires a whole lot of time and because I have been so busy I will not waste the time I have.

Spinning my wheels

If I were a metaphor, I would be a truck and the mud it is stuck in. I fail to accomplish anything is becauseI am too preoccupied deciding what that would even be. A few breaths after I decide to go after a goal, I decide the next moment that I was wrong. If I would just decide either way I would accomplish great peace of mind as well as whatever I set my self after. Two important ideas surface.

1). A song, but more than it, the video, cause I do not want a hearer to attribute a more pertinent meaning. I learn/think through video anyhoo this is on my mind:
https://youtu.be/8yvGCAvOAfM

That video leads me to think that maybe Peace of mind will only come through defeating the only rival I truly have, myself.

2). A blessing I recieved as a young teen said many things that have verbatim repeated over and over in my head. On an interview years ago, someone said that things that start out as just interesting, after we repeat them over and over they become biographical. In my blessing the phrase is "among all of these talents that you brought with you, the greatest is being able to accomplish the desires of your heart. You have within you the ability to be successful in your emdeavors. It is of utmost importance that you keep eternal perspective as choices are made..." it truly sounds like if I can decide on a thing I will be successful. I always thought it meant somehow that I would be as famous as Michael Jackson, as strange as that sounds. Recently, I watched a videoed interview where someone talked about how if we have dreams we owe it to ourselves to go out and accomplish them, another song?:

https://youtu.be/Ntlt2tKi4do

Hard to believe

I actually do have what is referred to in "mormonspeak" as a testimony...sidetrack. It is funny to me that they refer to a testimony of Jesus Christ as simply a testimony, but if you define testimony - although it is only a belief amd it does not refer to any dogma in particular. And yet, those outside the "Mormon Bubble" do not consider Latter-day saint's to be Christian (when the reason for Sunday meetings at all is to take the name of Christ upon themselves) the main l purpose of everything is love The whole of it is humorous to me.

Anyhow, at times everyone questions what they believe. This is natural and a part of recognizing who we are.

For me, it is strengthened by realizing who I am not. I have been challenged by speakers previously who suggested how rediculous it is to believe that the Book of Mormon was all made up, and I failed at my attempts to consider the entire religion made up, and the best I could ever do was decide that Greek mythology was not true and the Greeks were very wise and founded much of our science. As much as I consider most ideas man made, I could not deny who I call Jesus Christ, or judiasm. The creator of our existence is surely, the God of Israel.

There is a story of how Joseph Smith found and translated some books from a Egpytian mummy. This seems hard to fathom, yet, if you read it in conjuction with the Bible, even considering Joseph a great Scripture Scholar there are incredible ideas generated from reading the same stories from that perspective that opens up mysteries of the pentatuech. And at the end of all my considering and attempts at remaining neutral in accepting the truth as it is, I find it easier to believe Joseph Smith was actually a prophet of God and the Book of Mormon is the words of God as recorded in the American Continent.

Ooooh. Time to go!

Angelic messages

I need to preface this thought by saying that most of my most excellent ideas come as a result of preparation to teach a group of young 8 yr olds. They are so amazing, and I consider myself a well-taught person. I feel like I understand alot, but I always feel like I do not understand enough to teach these children. Surely, I must know enough or I would have been asked to do something else, not teach them, but I do admit feeling a bit under the challenge, but it makes me study that much harder to be sure that I am a master of the things I am asked to teach.

That being explained, I started to contemplate my lesson for Sunday a while ago, and admist the preparation thay I had this thought.

The lesson is on Adam and Eve and how they were taught the gospel. One scripture I read was so profound because it is not even in the Bible, and it is soo incredible, it became a foundation of a belief that the gospel did in fact come from a heavenly source because believing it was ficticiously fabricated by anyone else and yet, fit sooo perfectly is simply too hard of an alternative to believe. Anyhow, in this scripture found in Moses chapter 5 it states that Adam was taught by Angels.
As I was baking cookies, I started laughing cause as my son refers to it, "I feel so good". The thought was causing me to be so happy, I might even say I was in love if I didn't know better. It was just a thought, but it was too incredible to keep to myself. I always, no effort involved it just happens, start singing a song for everything. My mond was belting out the tune and lyrics, "The errand of angels is given to women..." I was questioning what it would be like to be taught from Heavenly father himself then I thought, Adam would know, he hot his truths directly from the servants of God ( otherwise referred to as Angels ). And I thought to myself, " wish an Angel would come teach those children. They deserve it."

Get it now? The errand of Angels was assigned to me. Pretty cool.

Eve's choice

I do not intend to dwell much on this, only acknowledge the thought, then duck out quickly, come what may.

I cannot shake the feeling that I am being watched. At times, I feel it more keenly. Like that old natural gas tank that made me so intrspective, until I would smile for the unseen cameras. Then watching TV, made me realize how many times I could be watched each day... for real.

Need to make my point before reverie gets me, that or sleep. I wonder if we really have choices. I dealt with this in college and decided on soft determinism. So what if my choice is known, I do not know it, so it is legitimate.

Ok, so Adam and Eve were married, right? Did they have belly buttons, no, no, no, just kidding. But, rather I was so impressed by how romantic it is that Adam chose to be with Eve instead of refusing to eat of the fruit that he was commanded not to eat. Ya da ya da. Now, Eve's choice. I always romanticized it, too, but she really did not have an option as far as husbands go. It was between be Adam's wife or touch the fruit and die, she chose to die, WHA?!?!? Was that really even a choice? I mean how could it have been if she did not even know anything, yet?

Alternative

When I play a strategy games, oh heck, Everygame feels like a strategy game, I struggle to find the best, THE ABSOLUTE BEST, solution. It is alot like A Beautiful Mind when John Nash gets outraged that he lost. It is mistaken that he would be upset to loose, but that is clearly not the issue at that point. It is because statistically it would be impossible. If every step was perfect it would win, right, so, he chose accordingly each time and the promised result did not measure up.

Switching gears for a moment... I was quite upset and the way we use what we know to explain things that we do not and create according to what we lack. I think it is called circular reasoning.

This morning, I realized how thankful I was that I actually knew the big answers to lifes enormous questions. That is when I thought of a game we used to play as children, called "Woof" it was purposed to tease my baby brother who always asked "What if..." but, it sounded like woof. So I asked "woof there was something that made love seem meaningless?" I do not know what it would be but, I was imagining, that love had been propogated as the explination for why of everything like God is Love or Love is God and God is in everything. There a solution for everything. But, what would an alternative be to love? And is it too comfortable to consider existance without it? Like why must we procreate? I do not know yet, but I certainly need to try to explain things without love just too see what the end consequence would be... cause we see with John Nash how trusting in a consequence might not always work out...hey, just a thought, but isn't that sort of like a "Dark Horse"? I am using the pronoun that to refer to an alternative explination.

Afternoon ramble

Now, to remember what I was thinking... oh yeah!

 

You know how we try in vain to explain the unexplained and smarty pants people try to answer our prayers and then say “ha ha! and you thought God did it.” Well, I used to say that he did cause God uses us all to answer prayers. But, in the kitchen, just now I was thinking something even cooler. I was thinking about how the way I understand Lucifer’s interference with God’s plan as anything but good, is that I think about what he did and although he had to do it, and I do not know what his intentions were, though, they may have been well meaning, it boils down to him not knowing the will of God... or as way explained to me so well, he did not know the Mind of Our Father. This is the same thing I think about others who do good or ill and try to manipulate outcomes.

 

It has been said that it is terrible to allow others to win. I think of how sad it was to Joseph Smith when he lost the missing pieces of manuscript that he translated from the book of Mormon, and he honestly thought his soul had been lost. This was not the case. In actuality it was foreseen and things were done to allow such mischief. I am certainly not welcoming evil I am just seeing clearly how it can be forgiven and even allowed for.

 

It is a hopeful thing. But, there have been some very significant situations where failure was almost necessary. The most obvious being: Adam fell that man might be. so, no matter what one is enduring or looking at dreadfully thinking, “I will wait for a better way.” be assured that God already knew and holds his arms out still. It seemed like in a black and white world, a thing had been done that left man alone forever (alone meaning without God), but, he knew this and allowed for a way for man to repent.

 

 That is the BEST news. no hurdle can be placed too high.... oh great, now I’m singing “Ain’t no mountain high enough...”