morning thought

I actually do not regret the time and effort I wasted just to realize that I was right. Years ago, I thought that I am probably just going to gain weight, so, just get rid of my old too small clothes. It is part of growing up to age gracefully.. that's  actually what both my grandmother and my mother plainly told me, still I had to learn the long drawn out way. I recall a video where a woman I admire explained how she gained weight when she started training for a half marathon. In high school, the top runner for our cross-country team was a shorter heavier set girl. I couldn't believe it when she beat me. But, whenever I feel stronger I also feel like I am eating too much. Just finally, as I started training for a marathon, myself, I realized that if I am going to perform well, then I need to abandon my obsession with loosing weight and accept that I am going to get larger. Likewise, a few year ago, a girl I knew was weight lifting and she showed before after and during photos and one of the first stages., she just looked like she had gained alot of size and weight, but then eventually started toning up and though her size did not shrink, she became more defined and is an accomplished weight lifter.

One last silly little anecdote is regarding a Norse God whom is well-loved. On a computer game a choice was made to make him a larger person. This was decided, given all of the information about him. It is funny though, that all of the gamers got upset and made fun of "Fat Thor".

My dad always said, " ask you are, I once was and as I am, you will become." My brother gained alit of weight, and I am next in line. I just accept it, at this point as part of my evolution. I chose to become a greater version of myself, and become truly beautiful, not some messed up version that would be impossible for me anyway.

My parents pointed out how my focus of weight-loss effects my children, too. My youngest son has been talking about how many calories he needs per day already, good grief! I will need to teach both my what I say and what I do.