I was feeling very low, and wanted to nip it in the bud before I made my life worse with my rash, irrational decisions. I remembered how together I was in high school. Then, as I pondered things like of course, I needed more faith because I knew so little, but I really was happier then. I had a bad body self image then, but got through it, inconsecuentially, or did I. Ok, my next thought had a choice, ponder how King David overcame Goliath because he was too improbable, like youth tend to be, ya da ya da, or think about the Book of Mormon pride cycle, CYCLE and how a recurring issue might apply to me in this situation. I chose the second for various reasons, mostly because it is more recent and was specifically written for my day and issues, and though I think insecurity is not merely a "modern" issue. For me it still persits, and I am not looking for another bandaid. Then I rembered this poem I wrote hidden sort of crouching in the back most seat on a school bus listening to Bad Animals album cassette on my walk man. Why do I still rember that, I do. I think listening to music affects the brain in a way that increases the ability to recall things. Here is it:
"Form it is so fickle, for whilst zaftiggity's chic, sledr'uns slept in streets. So what is beauty to the blind? When they seek, what do they find? Perhaps, it is an inward quest to seek the good and find the best."
I wrote that on a note card taking a break from writing a research paper for English. Ha ha ha, now I am thinking about Mrs. Edmonton and how she had us memorize the intro to Chaucer's Tales in Old English. I still remember that, too!
"Wan that Ap rill with his shoreah sotah, .. with swish vere chew engendered is the flewer..May tay ache... Swaytay brayth inspired hath every holt and hayth..."
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