I hate this!

 I  must have something right. Someone once said that if you want to be sure you are on the right track, go find the dust cloud (as it is evidence of a skirmish) if something is very good or very bad, it is beyond fighting for, and thus easier. But, trying to decide which is right is usually not so easy in the early stages, and unfortunately, our idea of early stages are much different from reality. I will explain this principle: When I got out of the hospital as still recieved out patient care, the doctors of neurology told me that if I did make a recovery it would be swift, in a very short time. I later learned that the spoken of "short time" to me mean within a week or so, but in terms of recovery it meant within ten years.

My daughter asked me a very interesting question, she asked, " So, when do we get to be Adults of God?" Cause we always sang about being a Child of God. I think that along the path of discipleship, pretty much every single person is an infant.

It really hurt me to realize that the very advice I loved and wanted to act upon was WRONG. I absolutely hate it!

It actually makes perfect sense that we each individually look out for our selves. Afterall, we are taught that the ONE soul that we bring unto God that will give us unparalleled joy is our self. We should THEN love others as our selves. Further, we know that no one can be coerced into goodness, it must be self done, right? I read many very insightful meanderings, as well that suggested that men were responsible for their own doings, and they are, for the most part. We know that without help man would not be and even being can never truly be accomplished without Assistance from our Saviour. I think of it as a baby, at first, they could not eat, or even think for themselves, but they have the potential, which potential requires assistance, all men need help too.

I was really upset yesterday and thought. I simply cannot endure this anymore. So, I prayed, ofcourse. And almost instantly, I thought, well, then what? No man alive is going to be perfect, but with time and effort...Well, heck, you have already done so much, you are at a crossroads where you must decide to continue on through hardship now, or abandon it all untill you get to this same point again.

My husband is a real failure, but he doesn't have to be, and he is humble. In the Book of Mormon this week we were studying about how we need to be like Christ (See also Book of Matthew). A Beattitude specifically mentions being a peacemaker, too which implies sharing the goodness you feel with others.

i remember a quote where someone pontificated on the veracity of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and ultimately they said something to the effect of if Heaven could be full of such people as he finds in "Mormon" churches He would be happy. Personally, I often get that "zion" vibe i Utah, too. Often I find myself saying, "Man these people really are of one heart and one mind and they definately care for the needy."

The fact that my husband is flawed means that he is needy. I am a woman, thus a help meet. I can be a sort of Savior and share the Love and goodness that I feel, thereby "Making Peace". 

I guess I have my answer. though I loved the notion of escaping and getting my instant peace, the eventual or potential peace I could have by trying harder and enduring reminds me of a thing my dad used to conclude all the time, "People often give up with they need most for what they want right now." I am glad that he said it and I heard it.