Sunday, September 15, 2019

It's a good thing...

As I was thinking some stuff my exact thoughts were: You hear yourself? I was thinking after an LGBT Fireside, sure it worked out, but they could collaborate and make such a perfect story. I remember my terrible situation and feeling such things and Everytime I concluded the same impossible solution. I wish my situation was so cookie cutter and easy to see how to act.... Um ok, you are thinking Crazy thoughts, Melissa. They just vehemently expressed how unique their situation was, because it turned out so wonderfully does not change the terrible heartache they endured. The spirit was teaching here, did you miss it? It was obviously orchestrated that you be there and hear exactly that. Well, still, if my mouth spoke my thoughts they would sound impossible, but that is exactly what I concluded time and time again.

I need to love more. Even then I will still never earn the sort of life I desire. So what, instinct may be to hate and seek vengeance. I have even momentarily, mind you, considered how to escape by killing. Love, love, love.

Although at dinner Nick told Mary to strike back if someone harms her. This is ABSOLUTELY not how things should ever be done. My instinct is to find peace in solitude because I am miserable and misunderstood, in the fireside it was suggested that we speak up and become more involved, again, against what I might naturally do. But, oh well. I will love...and largely because I see the great good it did with Bennett and his husband at the time. Their divorce was necessary but amlicable! Enough....bedtime.

No comments: