Repition is usually annoying, but this is really irksome. I can see well ahead of me, and this cycle is full of more misunderstanding and stupidity.
I realize that everything I want is to improve my beauty or make me more attractive. That is stupid. I well know that being too anything isn't desirable, and in particular being very attractive is likely annoying and would attract the wrong sort.
It seems though that time and time again it is men prefering something and women preferring them and believing they are comparatively lesser because they are not preferred. I noticed something else, it is almost like magic how I reflexively think that I am in love with someone who outwardly prefers me. That is stupid because I do not want the wrong types to prefer me, only one in particular. When wrong ones do, I get upset and claim that They love me for the wrong thing. I want to be loved so much that I would be like air to breathe.
My fondest imagining is that I will be loved entirely and not only partially.
To wrap this up I need to be loved which is a process leading to true understanding. I want to be more attractive so I can be lazy regarding who I was instead of work on my character to try to rebecome.
1 comment:
the solution is so simple I did not see it. It is a lot like when Moses asked people to look on his staff and be healed or bathing in the water, too easy it would not be acceptable, something equally difficult is expected.
Anyway, I have heard those who shout the marvels of confidence, and that started me to realize the truth. I wondered how to get this allusive attribute that made us beautiful enough. I realized that it is an entire assurity that we will be loved best regardless. that blossoms from acceptance not causes it, though Nick says it lie this, "It's easier to find a job when you already have one."
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