On Faith

My mind gets stuck on loops when a thing is said, until I come to a worthy conclusion. Such a thought was generated by an idle, not otherwise significant comment about Faith. A red flag was raised in my thoughts telling me it was significant to consider. Faith is an attribute like others we just have like integrity, etc. Such attributes can be cultivated, "Faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow." But, it is one of those things that if we poses it is part of who we are, and something, so to speak, that we brought with us, memory is not one of them.

I just saw The Little Mermaid so I use that metaphor to understand. It is like Ariel's voice, in that is more significant than we know, but to convince Ariel otherwise Ursula  explains that it is just one attribute, but, she speaks truth about the fact that she has so many other attributes can be focused on and used to get a man's attention  anyway. It reminds me of my best friend's observations while taking a "non verbal communication" course.

My most important thought was how in the hospital, on what seemed my death bed, people commented about what a "spiritual" person I was. Maybe, that is what got me through, so very little remained of "me" anyway.

I think of my visits with my therapist/psychologist who also said in interviews several times that I was a spiritual person, at the time, I took it as the intellectual way to say that I was religious, but not Baptist. I am so curious to know what was of value of me, as he asked my permission to be used in an article that he was writing. It was common. I was asked for Brain fluid, spinal fluid, if I would be willing to participate in a study on encephilitis, etc. My only thought was that if my misfortune could make me valuable to others than it was worth it. Time and again, I was told that survival was very rare, and most in similar circumstances only had discovered their malady after a thorough autopsy. This made me feel good. I finally found my talent and a way to be truly original.

Overcoming odds is the talent as manifest in this existence, but the true attribute is one that I had and brought with me and used. When everything else is removed from me, the part that remains defines me. It is Faith. It reminds me of the play, "You Can't Take it With You".