Everyone?

Yesterday, someone sat right beside me on a train. Honestly, I had to pretend to be having the conversation because I could not hear much of what was said, but a few discernable things piqued my interest. He said, "you don't Look like you are feeling fine." I started to think about the book 1984 and how the hero (Winston) says that looking a certain way is easy enough.

How did I appear to others?

I quickly answered any trace of unplacicity (readable on my face) was due to concern about learning to let go and trust my children. He said a whole lot, and I couldn't discern much beyond that it was very wise rhetoric and this guy was mentally challenged in someway and I ought to keep conversation very simple and surface level. Then, he said a thing I am still repeating in my head, " oh come on. Everyone rebels at some point." Truth is, on every level. I always and always had been a good drone (an obedient individual). I sort of defined myself as one who obeys or has learned to align my desires with those expected of me by others. I assumed this was survival. Oh great, now Darwin is added to the mix of thoughts generated by one thing some semi-sane stranger said on a train in downtown Salt Lake City.