Insomnia

I wanted to sleep tonight, but it looks like that will not be happening. I am too frustrated to calm my mind enough that I might sleep. And whenever it feels like maybe I will, a child sneaks under my covers and starts telling me all sorts of things that I could not and will not miss.

I found what I wanted to make for Joseph and Mary Anne for their classes for Christmas, I need to think some more about what sort of vehicle I am going to get, I need one, it is an imperative, especially since I will be working at the school each day. But, I will absolutely need a car for when it snows. My plan was to get one with tax money and drive to Mississippi to spend the summer with my older children, and help them a bit, and bring Joe and Mary cause they miss them and I could get a job to save up money for Christmas presents, cause mom could watch the kids, but I got a job, so I will not need to get a summer job. Now, I need to figure out how to get to Mississippi. Whever I give up on that I think of the story of Nephi and how he just kept trying and trying until he did what he needed to. I obviously, do not have enough faith. Shayna Clark told me not to give up on it, I COULD still go. And then what immediately my thoughts jump to is a thing Pres. Marsden said last night, "Stop thinking it is always about you and your way or no way." So, the car is probably out, but there is more than one way to get to Mississippi, and Nick doesn't want me to take the other kids anyway... ideas forming, minutes passing...