It would be easier

I honestly have never been one to avoid a battle once it has started, I just avoid starting a battle at all. This battle has been started though and I my conscience dictates that I must be congruent in my thoughts and actions, but it would be so much easier to live like I am. A huge part of me knows this is not possible and that ultimately, I will be miserable,  unless I can manage to become truly ignorant.

I cannot rely on others to fix a problem that only I understand.

It is just very hard to believe that willfully jumping into hardship is what will bring me happiness. I know happiness is an intended goal. It would be easier to continue living a lie or at least try to believe the lie was truth. Maybe, understanding things is the key and it is just a matter of understanding greater things, but I just do not yet believe there are greater things available on this earth.

Ahhhh. Eureka! It is all about hope. Like a roller coaster going down, we must believe it is to get high again, or at least move forward, and complete (be perfect) it. The falling must end and with the atonement, we can be forgiven, and it was foreseen that we needed to fall to move forward, now we have to have hope that it is all possible.