Parable of the sower

I was wondering if all of the parables (of Jesus Christ) have less obvious implications and that is how I realized how dreadful my situation is.

Ok, song time! "Faith is like a little seed. If planted it will grow..." Often, I use this to determine if a gospel principle is as we say true. You live the principle and by the fruits that are reaped one can see the good of it, and the apostle Paul taught that every good thing comes from God. My concern is how to judge a thing good or bad. It has been taught that if a thing inviteth to do good it is good. Well, that is rather cyclical. If a thing inviteth and enticeth then it motivates so what it motivates to a thing it is a thing. So, if I called the thing good by recognizing what it motivated me to do. I choose the gospel as the starting point. Whatever it motivates is my definition of Good then. Ok. Now keep that in mind and now apply it to my life choices which result or reaping I do not see as good and it is what would be most desirable to meand that has lead or motivated me at all times not paying attention to what has been extremely obvious to nearly anyone else. It is not as if I have been clueless or anything. I had always been taught that we struggle and it is rewarded, so the more difficult a thing is and the more preserverence is needed it follows that the pay off will be greater, so I focused on ignoring a hardship after another that would have seemed ridiculous to almost any other human. And just when I feel like I could not take anymore and decide that no reward could be worth it I would tecite mantras about how the only difference between failure and success is that one more moment was endured than before. I had surely endured more than anyone had before or anyone even imagined anyone would, and I realized that my son would one day have the priesthood power needed to restore my life to one I felt was competent.

Really, my life has not accomplished any of the things that seemed definite in my early years. Last night I told my children how important it is to have a good center of balance before you exercise because you do no want to build your muscles compensating for that. I have purposefully avoided doing things until I could do them right because I planned to live a long life and did not want to get accustomed to being disabled.

I got side-tracked. Urrrgh!

So, if the results indicate truth or goodness, I married a utah Mormon boy who has never even mentioned being sealed. He has not progressed in the preisthood, not desired to go to the temple or get a pat. blessing. I would have to say that that seed is not a good one, or I would have entirely diffirent consequences right now. I need to thinka bit more about this all.