Reluctance

I have heretofore been reluctant to the point of secrecy. The things I create, are hidden mostly because of the huge gulf between the things I create and the things I admire. My father explained a similar dilemma that made no sense at the time, and that is probably why I still remember it. Although, admittedly, I remember most things my parents said or did because they were my role models and I wanted to create myself to be like them. I likely failed at that, too. My dad commented on how he could never seem to capture the sounds in his head when growing frustrated at trying to digitally input them and have a sound produced to record. I was always amazed at the pieces he composed, but the point seemed that he wasn't. His own expectations were some ideal in his head, to which he said, "you know, there is a time in every parent's life when he wonders if their kids know what aesthetics are..." or something similar.

Among the brilliant things my Dad taught me, he tried to explain the pictographic drawings of Abraham and explained that it taught us the path to greatness. The greatest of all is God or Heaven, supposing we could even see the brightest star with our mortal eyes.

I have been considering that a great deal because of my Minecraft obsession. I see so many incredible worlds and other creations that although I feel a sense of pride in my creations, I feel like they are far below the wonderful things I see and aspire to be able to create. I become reluctant to share where I am now. I do know every single one of those well-esteemed individuals had to pass through a begining, too, though.

I just gave a lesson, myself, where I learned far more than I taught. My lesson was about how the scriptures contain every answer that God has for us, and in my mind I think of the scripture about how we are commanded to let our light so shine. If I just shared what is to me substandard, it could be appreciated or converted into something of great use to another. I think about "my scientific discoveries" and how I got so excited when I discovered a truth or scientific law just to learn that it had already been discovered. And I sought a new field, thinking I would never have an original thought.

I was watching "Torchwood: Miracle Day" and in it, they noted a phenomenon called Morphic Fields, where isolated individuals have the same idea. So, it does not make an idea no less wonderful simply because someonelse has it, too. Instead, it means that it is significant.

Lastly, I think of the beacon of Gondor, where a flame is lit across the mountain peaks to send a message over a great distance. In the chain, each fire, though not original is continuing information to be delivered. And so, maybe by letting my light shine, it is part of a signal for others. I just saw an incredible video: The Afters - Light Up The Sky - Official Video: http://youtu.be/8LQH6UDi15s that inspired me, too.

I do not need to wait until after I die to disclose "what it is I do all day."